BackfromtheStorm (original poster member #86900) posted at 1:10 PM on Saturday, January 17th, 2026
I do t think k he did it out of revenge. He did it out of sadness. But all it did was end up destabilizing us further and I can’t think of a single way it helped anything.
I do not think a thing so destructive as betrayal can ever help anything.
Not even sadness likely, it can only deepen the hole.
It takes away, does not add anything.
You are welcome to send me a PM if you think I can help you. I respond when I can.
Pogre ( member #86173) posted at 1:20 PM on Saturday, January 17th, 2026
I laughed it all, and she answered "maybe we should see other people", I laughed, told her "It's an excellent idea" sent her a link to tinder, and encouraged to find her next OM there.
She started to freak out. I told her I am done, do not care anymore.
It's funny/not funny how that works, huh? I played the pick me game for a couple of weeks after I discovered my wife's affair and she pretty much just continued to shit all over me. It wasn't until I made phone calls to divorce lawyers right in front of her that she changed her tune big time. Like your wife, my wife "freaked out" too, and started begging me to not leave. That was about 8 months ago and she's not wavered or changed since. Now she lives for transparency and to let me know she loves only me. She never wants to spend time apart now.
I've been wondering if she might be limerant with me now, too. She hangs on my every word and seeks only to please me now. It's actually pretty intense, and a complete change from her baseline behavior.
Where am I going... and why am I in this handbasket?
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 5:03 PM on Saturday, January 17th, 2026
There's a difference between limerence and hanging on to someone you're about to lose and showing real and reliable love and desire.
I do believe that during her A, my W realized she wanted me a lot more than she wanted ow. After d-day, she showed it in ways that she had never done before.
Limerence was defined by the woman would coined the term as 'the feeling of being in love,' so maybe limerence is part of R.
[This message edited by SI Staff at 5:09 PM, Saturday, January 17th]
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
BackfromtheStorm (original poster member #86900) posted at 5:39 PM on Saturday, January 17th, 2026
Limerence was defined by the woman would coined the term as 'the feeling of being in love,' so maybe limerence is part of R.
She is repeating how "we are 20 again" and how "I would do anything to turn back time and start fresh".
With stars in her eyes. All the memories, how we are repeating them. (her feeling, not mine anymore)
Is a dopamine flush, I think she might be experiencing it.
I've been wondering if she might be limerant with me now, too. She hangs on my every word and seeks only to please me now. It's actually pretty intense, and a complete change from her baseline behavior.
It's possible. I am happy for you.
For me, it is all I ever wanted, it might be too late.
We'll see
[This message edited by BackfromtheStorm at 5:47 PM, Saturday, January 17th]
You are welcome to send me a PM if you think I can help you. I respond when I can.
