Hello, and I hope you all are having a lovely summer. I wrote earlier about the terrible time I had at work last year as a teacher. I got pushed out of the job but truthfully I kind of felt ready to leave. I mean, I really really REALLY wanted, needed in fact, that full pension. I still grieve the loss of that every single day. But mentally I felt so drained and spent! I felt like I gave, gave, gave it my all and got no appreciation or respect back.
Anyway, I will admit I am a bit sad and wistful as I see the reports on the news about teachers returning to work at my previous district to start off the new school year, and I hear about back-to-school from former colleague acquaintances I have too. As much as I always dreaded going back to work each year (the entire month of August was always miserable for me because I would spend it dreading the upcoming restart of work), now I feel guilty. If you're filthy not working, and still not having a job lined up. I feel guilty for not being good enough at the job to the point that they had me feel like I was being forced to quit. Guilty because my late parents always raised me not to job hop or to quit a job without another. So I've been grappling with that pretty badly.
I tried applying to a few jobs but so far no call back. A few people suggested age discrimination. Some people here suggested retail, but let me explain something. In my state, the minimum wage is still $7.25 an hour. Retail has always paid not much at all above the minimum wage. That would not be enough to live off of. I would end up spending a lot of money on commute expenses, gas, meals out, just to not make much in my paychecks. I don't know what to do at this point and I just feel like my parents are looking down at me with disappointment. 
Has anyone else going through this, especially while also battling unfaithful relationships? I feel like I have no support anywhere. Heck, I don't even have a union anymore! Not that they really did much to defend me, but at least I knew I had a union. Now I feel like I have no one in my corner to help out.
[This message edited by teacherjoggergal at 9:46 PM, Monday, August 25th]
