Longtimecoming (original poster new member #82808) posted at 7:06 PM on Friday, March 21st, 2025
I finally left after almost 20 years.
Drugs, porn, infidelity, alcohol, avoidant behavior, breadcrumbs.
I’m not fully divorced but I’m freer than I’ve even been.
My friends see a difference, my kids. There is more to do but the things I have to put effort into will have a tangible impact on my life.
I’m not hanging around, waiting, pleading, trying to be seen, heard, loved.
"Working on myself" as a guise to find a way to accept the unhappiness in my marriage, as a way to blame myself. The work that I accomplished actually showed me I’m worth so much.
I have hope. My dreams are my own, I can make them happen.
I had to be ready though, no use fretting and regretting not doing it sooner. It’s done now.
I took my life back.
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 7:11 PM on Friday, March 21st, 2025
Congratulations! You are worth it. Great job and keep going.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 8:30 PM on Friday, March 21st, 2025
YYYAAYYY!!! Congratulations on your new beginning! I see happy days ahead for you!
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
nekorb ( member #40306) posted at 4:49 AM on Saturday, March 22nd, 2025
Congratulations!!
Enjoy your new found peace. :)
Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman
Longtimecoming (original poster new member #82808) posted at 12:19 PM on Saturday, March 22nd, 2025
Thank you!
I hope someone reading this who needs it knows that it IS possible.
I’m 40, married going on 17 years, 20 together. I didn’t know anything else but my heart & gut always told me something was "off".
I finally listened.
I’m so excited for my future, will be working on a Master’s degree this coming year. I’m figuring out finances for the first time in my adult life.
If I can do it, anyone can!
Justsomeguy ( member #65583) posted at 6:10 PM on Saturday, March 22nd, 2025
Congrats, but one peice of advice from someone a bit further on. Even on your own, at least for a while, you might experience that your healing journey might be a little nonlinear. Mine was. When I got my own place, it was like my brain and body finally gave itself permission to grieve and that was tumultuous at times. I oscillated between highs and lows. I also made the unwise choice of dating, so that hindered my healing, but I did the best with the tools I had at the time. Now, having been through the school of betrayal, I am much better equipped to navigate this stuff.
Having your own space can be amazing. I have since moved into a shitty old townhouse which I love. Often, i just sit here and soak up the peace. I hope you can find a place that gives you peace. Give yourself the grace to feel what you feel and process the best way you can.
Best of luck!
I'm an oulier in my positions.
Me:57 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.
Divorced
