WhoRYouNOW (original poster new member #84995) posted at 8:07 PM on Sunday, August 4th, 2024
I had all my ducks in a row and have been leveraging work as my anchor mentally for how I am still impactful in life. Then Thursday I got laid off due to a restructure and I am spiraling. It doesn’t matter that it wasn’t for performance reasons, I just lost the area of life that proved I can accomplish good things.
I know I will find a job, but the timing couldn’t have been worse. Powerless is how I feel and stuck is what I am.
Me- BH 49- WW/SAHM 46- 23Y M 2 actually good years
4 Amazing Kids- 22M, 19M, 16F and 13F
Multiple DDays and infidelities 9 yr LTA with sons travel Lacrosse Coach and STD, multiple EA’s and PA’s
Superesse ( member #60731) posted at 8:46 PM on Sunday, August 4th, 2024
WhoRYouNow, I am so very sorry this lay-off came at such a vulnerable time for you. Happened to my father at about the same age.
Please remember, you are YOU; an entirely worthy person. Right now you are being tested hard. But don't lose sight of Who YOU were, are, and will be someday soon!
For over 2 decades, after Divorcing my 1st H (13 year M), I used to think I was my career. I had to pour everything into work to survive and try to right the wrongs a D and concurrent bankruptcy caused. It does throw us for a loop. Well, I did a good job of climbing the economic ladder for a long while, but eventually politics at work led me to getting shifted into lesser roles than I'd been at previously. Seeing no way forward, I decided on doctor's orders to resign at age 48 from a high stress/low accomplishment grind only to find out, 4 years into my new life as a wife again (entered 2nd M age 46) that I had chosen to marry a man I'd known for 4 years before M, who turned out to be a closet Sex Addict!
At that point I was 51, and hitting menopause on top of everything else, it was hard not to believe my entire life had been for naught. (No children). So I'm feeling that familiar pain, reading your post.
Please keep reminding yourself that WE do not lose what we have contributed to our life paths! I wish you the very best going forward and please keep posting. This too shall pass....
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 9:34 PM on Sunday, August 4th, 2024
Sorry that you're feeling powerless. Job loss is a major life event and it sucks. I hope you land on your feet soon.
I'll second what Supresse said.
Please remember, you are YOU; an entirely worthy person.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
hikingout ( member #59504) posted at 10:23 PM on Sunday, August 4th, 2024
I am sorry to hear this, I can’t imagine how imploded your life feels to you in these moments. I pray you will find comforts while the smoke can settle, that you can find the will to put hope back in your heart, and have faith that sometimes we are truly pushed through doors towards bigger and better things. Right now you are being tested to your limits and as you navigate and clear this path you will find there a pride in your resilience, perseverance, and persistence. You will be able to hold your head high and realize that you are up for every challenge, and sometimes rising towards that requires you to let go and surrender. It’s then our steps are whispered to us.
You may not feel strong enough today to get to where I just took it, but you only need to have strength for today, worry about tomorrow tomorrow.
7 years of hard work - WS and BS - Reconciled
SerJR ( member #14993) posted at 2:47 AM on Monday, August 5th, 2024
I'm really sorry to hear this brother...
I went through something similar years ago. Just as things were starting to turn around in my personal life I got hit with a restructuring too.
It's pretty easy to feel overwhelmed and insignificant in the face of all this. It's like a giant bitch-slap to remind us just how powerless we are.
But I'm going to let you in on a little secret...
It's a fuckin' super-power, brother...
Reality is not so simple.
Life has its good times.
And it has its bad times.
And the only thing that's certain is uncertainty.
When we embrace our powerlessness, that is when we open ourselves to a world of possibility.
By giving up the illusion of control, we connect with ourselves on a deeper level and give ourselves the chance to grow.
By letting go of the outcome, we ignite creativity and resilience.
In those moments when it seems that everything has been taken away...
We gotta take a look deep inside at what still remains at the core of who we are.
It is in these moments, precisely, that we find out just how strong we can truly be.
We adapt...
We persevere...
We rise above challenges with a tenacity that is nothing short of heroic.
You gotta be good and lost to find that which can't be found.
And you gotta let go of the known to find the paths which we might have never considered.
Giving up your power is putting your trust in the one place it's deserved.
In yourself.
Letting go of control is the only way to truly be free...
To be the person you were meant to be!
So yeah...
Maybe your power was stripped away.
That just means it's time now to find out what you're truly capable of.
Me: BH - Happily remarried.
Hope is never lost. It exists within you - it is real. It is not a force in and of itself - it is something that you create with every thought, action, and choice you make. It is a gift that you create for yourself.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 5:15 PM on Monday, August 5th, 2024
Sorry to hear this.
YOU are not your job.
Your job was not your anchor - your anchor was and continues to be your many strengths and competences.
And what the folks above this post said.
Best of luck on your job hunt. May it be quick, and may it land you in a much better position than you had.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
FindingaWayHome ( member #78829) posted at 4:26 AM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2024
Hi WhoRYouNOW,
Feeling Powerless is hard and overwhelming.
But you have been heard and some of us have been there.
We made it through and want to encourage you too.
Hang in there friend.
And feel free to vent, we are here to support and encourage you.
Regards,
FAWH.