AdLarue17 (original poster new member #84917) posted at 8:29 PM on Thursday, July 11th, 2024
So far I have figured out that I feel pretty good when my WH is focusing all his attention on me. Which he has been doing as much as he can. Unfortunately he still has work and we have other responsibilities… so then if he’s busy with work, I start to feel sad and lonely and then I start spiraling. I feel like a black hole that is never going to have enough attention and love to feel normal. Like I’m always going to feel like a walking wound… I’m so tired of the weight in my chest… please someone tell me this gets easier. I hate feeling so damn needy.
crazycatlady ( member #12849) posted at 8:46 PM on Thursday, July 11th, 2024
I hear you. I hope you can weather this asap. It's so hard. Bless you.
Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none.William Shakespeare "All's Well That Ends Well"D-Day: Nov 30, 2006"For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright, who art as black as hell, as dark as night." William Shakespeare
SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 10:16 PM on Thursday, July 11th, 2024
You experienced huge trauma. What you're feeling is completely normal. And yes, it does get easier with time.
Time takes time. Sounds trite, but it's true. Be extra good to yourself.
Remove the "I want you to like me" sticker from your forehead and place it on the mirror, where it belongs. ~ Susan Jeffers
Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.
Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 12:56 AM on Friday, July 19th, 2024
please someone tell me this gets easier.
It gets easier 
. In fact...it can get downright AWESOME when you find yourself on the other side of infidelity 
!!!
Right now you ARE a walking wound Dear Lady...and you do whatever you need to do to HELP you HEAL that sweet and precious heart of yours...as long as it is legal 
.
It may not seem like it right now...but you are getting better a little bit every day. The trauma and shock is not as strong as it was and one day you will wake up and feel like that weight is a little bit lighter . The next day it may feel a little bit heavier...because this kind of healing isn't linear...but one wonderful day...you will HEAL .
A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.
With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)
I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!
From respect comes great love...sassylee
AdLarue17 (original poster new member #84917) posted at 2:41 AM on Friday, July 19th, 2024
Thank you Want2BHappyAgain… your words give me hope!!
wjbrennan78 ( member #84763) posted at 9:12 PM on Friday, July 19th, 2024
AdLarue17 -
I have found when I start to spiral or get anxious it helps when I go spoil myself. It can be something easy and inexpensive as an ice cream cone by myself. I also get massages, take walks in new neighborhoods, buy better cuts of meat if able, and I try to get myself something for myself that I would never do before the A. A new pair of shoes (even if I don't really need them), a new shirt, new cologne, anything that would have been a treat or a gift for X-mas, Bday, etc.
I used to short myself on purchasing luxuries or being frivolous on myself. Well, the therapy and empowerment of taking care of yourself first at times is liberating. I had to take a hard look at my own personal habits. My kids are fed, clothed, sheltered, and get to experience a multitude of experiences and activities. My WW didn't give a shit what she spend prior to the A on hair treatments, nails, botox, etc. Now I know why she was so consumed by her appearance! So screw that! It's time that I stopped going "without" some of the finer things in life and allow myself to take care of myself for once. Yeah it's material as hell - but a new pair of shoes feels so good! And an ice cream cone in solitude with no bitching or talking is very therapeutic lol! It all helps to change your mindset for a while.
