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General :
My daughter is afraid

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Helena67 (original poster member #80506) posted at 2:23 PM on Monday, April 15th, 2024

My daughter has met somebody she likes very much. She called me in tears. She is afraid that he will do to her what her father did to me! How can I reasure her? Any thoughts?

BS (me) 56 years. Divorced!!!

posts: 129   ·   registered: Aug. 10th, 2022   ·   location: The Netherlands
id 8833556
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Justsomeguy ( member #65583) posted at 2:29 PM on Monday, April 15th, 2024

Given the state of modern relationships, I just dont think there can be any reassurance. I wish it were different, but it's not. Add to this the fact that your daughter is collateral damage to your WH's A, andcthat increases the trauma or anxiety for her. The best you can do is give her the tools to help her navigate any situation, show Heche to proactively protect herself in the event of an incident (no comingling anything) and hold spececwith her if something does happen.

Cheaters are a special kind of shitty...

I'm an oulier in my positions.

Me:57 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.

Divorced

posts: 1875   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8833557
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EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 2:57 PM on Monday, April 15th, 2024

She is afraid that he will do to her what her father did to me! How can I reasure her? Any thoughts?

The same we make it through it. Keep reminding yourself to judge a person by what THEY show you; not by other's actions. IE I constantly reminded myself to go by a new guy's actions...that he was not my ex, etc.

It took a lot of reminding but it worked.

posts: 6942   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2009   ·   location: Pennsylvania
id 8833568
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crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 6:37 PM on Monday, April 15th, 2024

I would tell her to not make this person her "everything" make sure she has interests and a great support system of friends and family. To know there are no guarantees in life and sometimes have to take a leap of faith. There is heartbreak in life and great risk with falling in love and being vulnerable.

fBS/fWS(me):51 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(21) DS(18)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorced 8/8/24

posts: 8922   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 8833599
Topic is Sleeping.
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