Topic is Sleeping.
Emotionalhell (original poster member #39902) posted at 12:56 PM on Monday, December 25th, 2023
I’m finding it difficult to be In the same house as WH. I’m trying to be normal without letting him think all of his actions are ok.
After his daughter’s family’s visit I plan on moving into the front bedroom which has a bathroom across the hall.
I haven’t allowed him to help with the little things like household chores. It is killing him but at the same time I’m afraid that he will help him justify his affairs.
How do I navigate this? I’m definitely not playing the pick me game. Those woman can have him. A part of me wants WH to hurt by my actions of moving towards finding my own place. I’m saving money towards moving out and have plans to visit an attorney but having difficulty having any genetic conversations with him. Any advice?
I’m constantly nauseated and just want to run.
Me BS x2. 50ish Divorced WH #1. IHS with wayward #2 Dday #1 Oct. 2014Dday # 2 August 2018. Dday #3 December 17th.
Jajaynumb ( member #83674) posted at 3:04 PM on Monday, December 25th, 2023
Sorry you’re here at this time of year. Read the 180 and go for it hard. Avoid any discussion with him. If you feel you’re done you’re done. Save the money you need and bounce. If he wants to move out even better.
https://library.survivinginfidelity.com/topics/661294/worse-than-hell-yes-its-all-true/
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 3:15 PM on Monday, December 25th, 2023
IHS sucks big time. Treat him like a bad roommate that you can't stand.
Let him do some chores. A roommate would need to be responsible for some chores, right?
Don't talk, don't do his cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc.
I understand about wanting the WS to hurt. Unfortunately, I don't think mine has the emotional capacity to feel the hurt.
May you have a peaceful day.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
Cooley2here ( member #62939) posted at 7:39 PM on Monday, December 25th, 2023
If you are able just ignore him. Questions he asks should be answered with a "yes" or "no". It sounds like he wants to engage you in conversations. One thing I have found over the years dealing with difficult people is leaving, the room, the house, even a stopped car. Your one thought is how to protect yourself. Everything else is just noise.
When things go wrong, don’t go with them. Elvis
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 8:47 PM on Monday, December 25th, 2023
I am sorry you are in this limbo state, especially around the holidays.
Your first biggest tack is to stop yourself from feeling sorry for him. Not to be a mean girl BUT his actions and choices have put you in this position.
You can do one of two things. One hard 180 and minimal conversation and interaction.
Or you can mentally and emotionally separate yourself and detach. Thereafter it doesn’t matter what he does, you don’t have one ounce of concern or feeling. You could carry on an entire conversation and it would be the same as talking with a random customer service agent lol. There’s no feeling in anything — he’s just someone who is there.
But that you means you are not listening to apologies or his sad saga etc. and he has to learn you are not his go to person any longer.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 11 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
Topic is Sleeping.
