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Off Topic :
sister searching for weird stuff

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Gottagetthrough (original poster member #27325) posted at 5:31 PM on Wednesday, September 13th, 2023

guess its not weird… more … disturbing?

found out she was searching for "what to do when mom dies" and "how to settle a parent’s estate"

also, ""what to say to a parent when they ask to go home from nursing home" and "activities for those confined to bed"

mom aint dead. not confined to bed. not in a home.

mom is old. my forgets stuff sometimes. her doc recently said she was competent.

sis hasnt seen mom in 2 years. She threatened mom last year, texting, " Gotta is embezzling from you, she’s gonna go to jail and you will never see your grandkids again"

I have emails frim years ago where mom said, "I havent seen you in two years, you pick your husbands family over ours every holiday.." So not new behavior

this also coupled with google searches for fancy clothing and travel.


What. A. Scumbag

posts: 3835   ·   registered: Jan. 22nd, 2010
id 8807642
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MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 9:06 PM on Wednesday, September 13th, 2023

Eww.

Do you have this documented and saved somewhere?

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

posts: 1180   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8807673
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Superesse ( member #60731) posted at 5:10 AM on Thursday, September 14th, 2023

Gotta, how sick, indeed. What motivates her, do you know? Oddly enough, I was just thinking of your situation today, because it is so "familiar!"

I also have a sibling who, in our case, financially abused my late father for years after taking over his affairs and care, isolating our father from all other family. Ironically, this sibling has now suffered the same fate as our late father. In the 10+ years since this sibling took our father's entire proceeds of the estate, defying the terms of our father's will, we have chosen to have zero contact rather than sue for the stolen portion of the estate that was to be equally distributed. All during this time, we have never heard another word from that sibling, spouse or children, even when our other sibling recently died; couldn't even make it to the funeral!

But with this sibling's own health crisis, the spouse and one daughter from out of state have been taking turns texting us every so often for over 3 months, yet they never leave messages. I believe they are trying to engage us in their crisis. I pity them, truly, but have no desire to get involved at this late date. I am so worn out with it all, it dredges up so much grief.

You really may need to get some professional advice if you haven't already. But please don't wait and hope it all blows over with her, like I tried to do. If your mother is competent, you want this "in writing" and preferably more than one evaluation. Then, I don't know where you take it....

posts: 2061   ·   registered: Sep. 22nd, 2017   ·   location: Washington D C area
id 8807740
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Catwoman ( member #1330) posted at 12:32 PM on Thursday, September 14th, 2023

Has your mother executed an estate plan? If not, it needs to be done NOW. Make sure it is iron-tight with a good law firm to back it up and then you shouldn't have any issues.

She can Google all she wants . . . right?

Cat

FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 27 and 24. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

posts: 33182   ·   registered: Apr. 5th, 2003   ·   location: Ohio
id 8807753
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MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 1:27 PM on Thursday, September 14th, 2023

How do you know she's googling this?

I'm sorry, from all your prior posts your sister sounds like a narc.

Definitely put the psych evaluations in a file at the lawyer's and be sure they're dated to around the timeframe of any adjustments to your mom's will. It's a lot of extra work and likely exhausting. Just... your mom and yourself deserve the protection. It's sick she sees her death as a winning lottery ticket. Her emptiness and vanity will just leave her lonely, alienated and lost. You've got the real prize- your peace of mind and the lovely memories you have of your time with your mom.

Sending hugs!

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

posts: 1180   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8807760
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 Gottagetthrough (original poster member #27325) posted at 2:40 PM on Thursday, September 14th, 2023

I have a lawyer (there are actually 3 lawyers working for moms side, plus my husband is a lawyer)

they dropped the case to get guardianship of her after months and after she took a 4 hour cognative test. She also had a letter from the neurology dept (ie, a different person, didnt lnow the person who gave the cognative test)

Its so GROSS. It pinterest, so they are up and I have just taken screen shots. But "What to do when your parent dies" and "What to say when your parent asks to go home from nursing home" "How long does it take to settle a parents estate" with month by month tips and what happens barf Then her next board (which has been updated in the past days) is Travel Belize, Next board : Home renovations Next board: Clothes (all expensive gowns, etc)


(and no, she cant afford this without an inheritance. she had to ask mom to pay her husbands medical bill a few years ago when he went to the er for a panic attack… since, he has had colon cancer and I know they are in deep medical debt bc she told me before we fell out)

[This message edited by Gottagetthrough at 2:42 PM, Thursday, September 14th]

posts: 3835   ·   registered: Jan. 22nd, 2010
id 8807774
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 Gottagetthrough (original poster member #27325) posted at 2:46 PM on Thursday, September 14th, 2023

oh yeah Cat, no worries, she has a new will (leaves sisters out and gives everything to her grandkids) and new POA.

My 18 yr old and wh both said why are u surprised? they had no idea why this would shock me. Its just so gross!!!!!

i showed mom, she laughed and said, what a jerk! I asked her if she wasnt upset, she said, well, i guess. Can I tell her I want my nursing home hug pillow lol! (there was a "pin" for a pillow u hug and write a poem on if your "loved one" gets lonely.) Basically, mom was just laughing at how stupid the pins were! She also said, “She hasnt even seen me in 2 years! She has no idea how I am.”

[This message edited by Gottagetthrough at 2:47 PM, Thursday, September 14th]

posts: 3835   ·   registered: Jan. 22nd, 2010
id 8807775
Topic is Sleeping.
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