Brokenheart29 (original poster member #51827) posted at 1:11 PM on Friday, September 1st, 2023
Hi all! Not sure if I’ve ever posted in new beginnings! It was always offer support in the other forums.
Divorced after xwh cheated on my while pregnant. Had to bring up a a 5 year old dd and raise my new born ds while xwh started a new life with ap. I was broken. BUT I got through it. I became stronger. I became in different. I moved on. I started dating someone 3 years after my divorce. We had been seeing each other for 4 years however I’ve decided to end things due to the way he treated me last week while away on vacation. He was very nasty about my dd going through a crises at home and couldn’t understand why I was on the phone to her trying to soothe her. He acted like me being upset at not being home (other country) and not being able to console her was ruining the holiday and then proceeded to tell me I was an over the top parent who was raising anxiety riddled children. So I’m done. I told him yesterday. But he’s been hounding me since. He turned up at my house today (we don’t live together). He thinks I’m making a mistake and others do things much worse and get a pass. Just after some advice on how to handle all this please! I know I’ll be ok I just need to get through this. It’s upsetting me greatly.
Thanks for reading ❤️
Me 33, xwh POS had a pa while I was pregnant. My kids, DD 10 DS 4.They will see me through this trauma.
Dday January 2016
Divorced finally January 2017
EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 1:57 AM on Saturday, September 2nd, 2023
Not much in the way of advice, but you will get through this. And good for you for not tolerating less than you deserve. That, more than anything else, shows how much you've grown and how strong you are. You got this!
"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger
"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 3:47 AM on Saturday, September 2nd, 2023
Tell him not to contact you and block him on your phone. If he comes over again, tell him not to come over again because you won't answer, then don't answer. I'm not sure at what point out would be considered harassment, but check your local laws.
Good luck, and I agree with you.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 6:31 AM on Saturday, September 2nd, 2023
What a tough situation, but you are protecting your boundaries and your priorities. Good for you. I know it hurts, but be proud of yourself.
Me: BS 55 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
Forks027 ( member #59996) posted at 5:27 AM on Sunday, September 3rd, 2023
He thinks I’m making a mistake and others do things much worse and get a pass.
For every time I hear someone say something like or similar to the above, I feel like my brain dies. The bar’s in hell with these people, isn’t it?
Glad you’ve put up boundaries and made it clear he’s crossed a line. But with the fact that he’s hounding you, I’d be wary that he’ll try to escalate. With the quoted text above, I feel like he might dare to push back and test how far he can.
[This message edited by Forks027 at 5:28 AM, Sunday, September 3rd]
Feelinglostagain ( new member #83831) posted at 1:10 AM on Tuesday, September 5th, 2023
I admire you for standing your ground and putting a boundary in place, especially when it comes to your children. I would just encourage you to continue to be true to yourself. I have been in a similar situation previously and while I initially enforced the boundary, my partner kept begging and pushing back and promising the world... and I eventually gave in. I oftentimes wish I hadn't. Looking back on it, I wish I hadn't given him the opportunity to keep upsetting me. You are strong, and you will be fine... as will your children..
Cooley2here ( member #62939) posted at 1:43 AM on Tuesday, September 5th, 2023
Children come first. Period. If he does not get that he is not YOUR husband material.
When things go wrong, don’t go with them. Elvis
countrydirt ( member #55758) posted at 3:18 AM on Tuesday, September 5th, 2023
3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021