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Newest Member: Dander33159

Divorce/Separation :
Serenity Now

Topic is Sleeping.

 kiwilee (original poster member #10426) posted at 3:23 AM on Thursday, August 17th, 2023

Okay after doing IHS for a year (even tho just filed in June), I am at the end of my rope. Been sleeping in separate rooms for a year, no intimacy for a year (馃槼), tension, massive stress. I am DONE. He refused to leave the house for those wondering why it is this way and attorneys tell you not to leave house due to abandonment, etc. So people have to suffer thru this hell of IHS.

BUT, we are so close to move out date and settlement date of Oct 1. So I鈥檓 trying to HOLD ON a little longer. I鈥檝e noticed my emotions and stress have really ramped up lately. I鈥檓 so afraid of being this close to him out of house and fair settlement because I鈥檓 waiting for the explosion (my life with him). I just can鈥檛 trust this will be done in 42 days. I鈥檓 afraid he will f it up somehow by changing his mind or throwing me under bus.

Anybody else experience this heightened anxiety as it drew nearer to the final end?! It鈥檚 like I鈥檝e been waiting to exhale for so long and I truly just want a deep breath so desperately. I need to believe in that light at the end of the tunnel, but since I have zero trust in him, I can鈥檛 rest assured he will cooperate.

I just know it will be the biggest weight off me when it鈥檚 settled and he is physically out of my life. I want to be there now!!

Anyone same experience?

posts: 650   路   registered: Apr. 17th, 2006
id 8804656

Helena67 ( member #80506) posted at 6:06 PM on Thursday, August 17th, 2023

Kiwily, I don't have this experience but I can imagine how dificult it must be. I only lived a relative short amount of time with my STBX after d day and it was a true hell!
I just want to send you encouragement and strength. Stay strong!!!

BS (me) 56 years. Divorcing. Almost there!

posts: 123   路   registered: Aug. 10th, 2022   路   location: The Netherlands
id 8804705

crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 6:12 PM on Thursday, August 17th, 2023

I was IHS for a year before I physically left. It was pure hell on earth. You could cut the air with a knife that's how uncomfortably thick it was. I remember feeling like I wasn't going to live through it. Thank god for my girlfriend who lived up the road I would often get out of the house to let steam and just talk. She helped me a lot during this time.

The peace and freedom you feel when they are gone is heavenly and I hope it happens for you soon. It's almost traumatizing being in the same house with the offender during such a hard time. I'm sorry you are going through this, but there is peace at the end of this.

fBS/fWS(me):50 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(20) DS(17)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014

posts: 8632   路   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   路   location: California
id 8804709

changedforlife ( member #38474) posted at 6:48 PM on Thursday, August 17th, 2023

Kiwilee, I feel for you and your feelings are normal. Even though I am only at the beginning of IHS, I am dreading how long it might take and if WH will ruin me financially (I am the primary breadwinner even though I am also the primary caregiver for our child and homekeeper). There is no trust therefore no peace until it is done. Keep posting here and I am hoping for the best outcome for you!

Me - BS Him - WH (in our 50's)Together 31 years/ 1 teenager1st D-day - Jan 24/13 #? d-days from broken no contact and continued infidelity for several years. Attempted reconciliation.July 28/23 told him it was over and he wa

posts: 172   路   registered: Feb. 17th, 2013   路   location: Canada
id 8804720
Topic is Sleeping.
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