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My ex husband used to always tell me when I spoke up for myself against being bullied that I had a real smart mouth and it would get me into trouble one day. I always came back with "I have the fists and feet to back my smart mouth up. Try me." Meaning, I don't say or do shit that I'm not prepared to stand up and answer for. WTS maybe had your WS kept her legs closed, she wouldn't be having this problem. This isn't anything that you caused, she did this to herself. We don't condone violence on here. But it stands to reason that if you cheat with someone who has a spouse with a basket full of crazy biscuits, you could be risking an ass kicking regardless of whether it was or wasn't deserved. She didn't seem to worry about the OBS when she was hopping on for a ride. But, now, YOU are supposed to protect her from her choices and actions? FTN.

Is it possible she might be in danger, of course, it's always a possibility. Chances are slim, though. That poor woman is probably so crushed by what your WS and hers did to her that she doesn't even know which way is up right now. Meanwhile, your WS is reaching and will say anything that makes her somehow the poor victim. SHE is NOT the victim. I see it WAY more often where they bunny boiler AP goes after the poor wife when she gets tossed under the bus after DDay. The OBS realistically has way more to fear than your WS. I also speak from personal experience. Shrek stalked me for years and even threatened me once until my ex warned her I'd been LE for a few years and retired Army. Her threats stopped, but she continued to stalk me. I was NEVER a threat to her. Focus on your healing and getting out of infidelity. Tell your wife she should take some basic self defense if she's really that concerned, or she could have you train her in combatives/hand-to-hand.

[This message edited by StillLivin at 6:28 AM, Monday, March 6th]

Ummmmm... Maybe your ww should have thought more about the big bad scary OBS you know before having an affair with her husband? Just saying.

MHO? This narrative is just a bid to manipulate you into feeling sorry for her. That's just my take on it anyways.

Any care and concern for anyone's safety was disregarded when that A started.

LTAP [allegedly] kept WH "in line" over the course of the LTAP by various threats. She allegedly also kept OBS from asking too many questions over the course of the LTAP by various threats.

If it is a legit threat - go to your local precinct and get it all documented [I had to after I informed OBS and sent him everything]

If it is just another manipulative tactic to get you to STFU and stay that way - shame on your WW for turning herself into a victim of a circumstance she herself created.

Do you know whether OBW actually received and read the letter?

Hi Marine,

Regarding your comment:

I'm frustrated with me. So, I get that I'm a frustrating guy to advise because it's like, "YOU KEEP DOING STUPID STUFF YOURE ADVISED AGAINST, DUMBASS!".

Don't be too hard on yourself.
You are still moving forward out of infidelity.
Two steps forward and one back is still healthy movement.

Even after all this time its normal to find yourself overwhelmed by these events and making choices that you might regret later.
But you are doing the right thing in addressing those choices as you seek to move out of infidelity.

Regarding the WW response about feeling threatened by the OBC.
Is her response that she feels threatened by the OBS really a defence of the OM and a subtle attack on you?
If this is true, then she really isn't doing her best to "win you back" and is still impacted by "the Fog".
What are your reflections on this?

We're here to support and encourage you,
FDWH.