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Well, we made it through Christmas and it was great. I thought, well this is going to be another first that’s going to really be hard, but it wasn’t. I had my daughters and grandchild there and my son and his wife showed up later and there was so much, just happiness! STBX reached out a few days before Christmas to tell me that he had gifts for our grandchild and he was dropping them off with extended family and said I could do whatever I wanted with them but he hoped I didn’t withhold them from the child. I just replied I wasn’t withholding anything. My kids still are no contact with him. Two have him blocked from everything.

Mediation is coming up this week. STBX is asking for half of everything and has inflated what he thinks the values are for the inventory of the house. And on his financial report he turned in, he shows that he has more outgoing than income. My favorite part was his claim that he spends $300 per month in gas…he doesn’t have a vehicle. He drives a company truck and gets fuel for free. Whatever. I hope this money that my lawyer is getting is going to be well worth it in the coming weeks.

I’m just stressed, and even though in my head I knew it was going to be a fight, I didn’t think he’d actually stoop low enough to want the gifts he gave me or the vehicles we gave to the kids, or that he’d try to take the house which would put his kids out as well. I guess since they won’t talk to him, this is his response to that.

I wish my mom was here. She died in an auto accident 24 years ago, but you know, it’s still your mom, and sometimes you just need your momma. I miss her every day, but I really wish I could curl up next to her on the couch, and put my head in her lap like when I was a child, and let her play with my hair and scratch my head while I talk to her. I’ve been so much better but I guess I’m just really stressed about this mediation and I’m just riding this roller coaster of emotions.

(((Hugs)))

Think of us here at SI as your surrogate mom.

Hugs to you.

I hope mediation goes well, or as well as it can.

Sending hugs. I lost my mom to pancreatic cancer about 3 years pre-A. I would wish for her hug and advice.

My mother would have no hugs or advice for me. She told me to suck it up basically. Not interested in hearing it.

You are lucky if you have parents who care or take an interest.

((sending virtual hugs))
Hope mediation goes well

Well, meditation was Wednesday. It was done remotely through Zoom. The mediator was so nice; she saw how nervous I was and was just very informative and just very nice.

She started with me, and I told her what I wanted most was the house. After going through my list, she went to him. When she came back, his offer was that if we could finish it that day, he’d give me house, all the furnishings, the truck we were letting our son use (previously he wanted it), but was adamant about not paying spousal support. He just wanted the rest of his personal items that he left. Plus, he would pay off the last of our tax debt. My attorney said it was a great deal, because with my job earnings, I probably wouldn’t get support. I agreed, so we settled, and now it just has to presented for the judge to sign off.

I saw my ex. When the mediator was talking to both parties, all the windows on the screen were visible. He didn’t look at me or attempt any communication. He practically cut off a limb to get away from me, so he can get remarried to the whore. That’s ok. You do you.

So I guess I won. But it still feels like a loss. I cried while I signed the agreement. For him, and for me. I wouldn’t take him back, because he was too cruel in his treatment of me, and I don’t ever want to be someone’s 2nd choice, and for a thousand other reasons. I’m better without him. But thirty three years of marriage was "settled" away in 4 hours. There is something horrifically wrong with that. A lifetime, MY lifetime, was decided in an afternoon. But I’m ok. And when I got home, my girls gave me pizza, and hugs and cheered me up by calling me a free woman, and told me it was the fastest was to lose 250 pounds! You have to laugh at that sense of humor!

So I’ll be ok. I AM ok. A little melancholy but I’m glad it’s almost over. (Except now I’m sick. Yuck. I think I’m going to sneeze on all of the stuff he’s taking. Ha ha, enjoy the flu, asshole.)

Thanks for the update. When my D was final, I cried and was down for a little bit.

Life is so much better now without having to deal with XWH.

Your girls sound awesome!

Ha ha, enjoy the flu, asshole.

Now see, I'm a bit of a bitch, and would have told him that he was responsible for getting his gifts to his grands. I'm nobody's delivery woman. It just shows the assumptions that he makes about you and his continuing expectation that you'll take care of stuff for him. His ass should have stood in line at the UPS store! Way to be a not only a bad husband and father, but also a bad grandfather. You're right, he IS an asshole!

So sorry for the difficult situation Lost transport
It does hurt and I am sorry you had to deal with that.

I had a great deal of loyalty and respect for marriage and wh. The sad truth is that he is a nasty cheating cheating piece of work. And that is a bitter pill after a more than 3 decades long marriage. It amazes me the callous way people can discard their spouses and I am truly so you had to go through what you did

I wish you peace and healing.