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ArkLaMiss ( member #14918) posted at 7:23 PM on Saturday, March 25th, 2023

Any updates? Are the inlaws leaving you alone? If not, file restraining orders against them on your and your kids behalf!

Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

posts: 1802   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2007
id 8784084
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 Kb82 (original poster member #70826) posted at 7:06 AM on Tuesday, March 28th, 2023

Hi Ark, I haven't heard a word from any of them since that last message. The counselor that will be supervising the visits contacted me last week to ask what the situation is. I explained my side. He advised he would meet with me and Wh each separately before scheduling the kids visit. He said expect to hear back in 24 hours and I haven't heard anything else from him. It's been almost a week. The dcs worker called me back and I explained what my lawyer suggested about him possibly shooting up.

I'm thinking possibly dcs finally got around to visiting him and he failed a drug test. No evidence of that but I haven't heard anything from anyone. The day dcs came here she advised they would be drug testing and if he fails, custody would be in their hands, that any Divorce agreement would be irrelevant until their case with him was closed. I'm still kind of in shock over all that has transpired the last few months. I feel both heartbroken and stupid. I saw wh so differently. But people that don't even know him seem to see through him right away.

The kids haven't even asked about him really. My 4 year old daughter who is very strong willed and says off the wall random stuff constantly has said things like "daddy's not an adult." When I asked why she thinks that she says "bc he lives with gigi". Her little random thoughts make ne laugh. The one that seems to get bothered sometimes is my oldest. But she doesn't seem too bothered by any of it either.

The neighbor that wh was having spy on me is in rehab. Her boyfriend is still staying at her place and told me the other day. She got arrested and rehab was her get out of jail free card apparently. And get this, WH has been on suboxone, which helps opioid addicts (personally I think it's just another addiction,just my opinion). He's been on it for years. Recently before all this happened in December he had a stack of them. He'd been going to the Dr appointments as normal, getting the medication, but not taking it. He told me he was weaning himself off which i believed and was even proud of
When the neighbor was arrested she had that medication on her. And also was arrested in August with the same thing. We moved here in May. I think many things have been happening for quite some time I had no clue about. I feel like such an idiot. thank you all for the continued support. I appreciate each of you so much. ❤️

posts: 203   ·   registered: Jun. 22nd, 2019   ·   location: TN
id 8784500
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ArkLaMiss ( member #14918) posted at 5:52 PM on Wednesday, March 29th, 2023

Kb, wow! I cannot imagine going through all that you have so far! You are handling everything that your ex and his parents have thrown at you with unbelievable strength and grace! I'm just hoping that everything continues to go as smoothly as possible. Just keep your eyes and ears open because these people are not quite right and will do some underhanded crap to get even with you! Stay safe, stay vigilant and lock everything up like Fort Knox! We're rooting for you!

Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

posts: 1802   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2007
id 8784680
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Bor9455 ( member #72628) posted at 8:24 PM on Wednesday, March 29th, 2023

I'm still kind of in shock over all that has transpired the last few months. I feel both heartbroken and stupid. I saw wh so differently. But people that don't even know him seem to see through him right away.

To be fair to those of us here on SI, because I like to be fair to us, this is how we saw him when you started posting about his antics a few months ago. Sure, even I am shocked at his turn to using street drugs like he allegedly is doing, but he was never a good partner for you and it's taken you time, but you clearly see it now and we are proud of you. Keep your head up and keep moving yourself out of this toxic marriage.

Myself - BH & WH - Born 1985 Her - BW & WW - Born 1986

D-Day for WW's EA - October 2017D-Day no it turned PA - February 01, 2020

posts: 665   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2020   ·   location: Miami
id 8784722
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 Kb82 (original poster member #70826) posted at 2:17 AM on Monday, April 3rd, 2023

Thanks Bor! Yes you all saw right through him too. It sucks realizing the person you saw as your partner in life is a complete stranger basically. You all have helped me get strong and have been so supportive throughout the process. Thanks to all of you. Everything has been quiet lately. I will keep updating here.

posts: 203   ·   registered: Jun. 22nd, 2019   ·   location: TN
id 8785461
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 Kb82 (original poster member #70826) posted at 2:27 AM on Monday, April 3rd, 2023

Thanks Ark! Just saw your message after posting reply to Bor. Yes I keep thinking it's been a little too quiet. So I'm definitely still on guard. But the past few weeks of silence have been nice. The first couple of weeks of silence I was still antsy waiting on news and not really able to relax. But I've calmed down and embraced the peace the past week or so.

I went and got my hair colored for the first time in over a year last week. My girls and I had a girls day. It was nice. My hairdresser was asking what's new. I told her a gist. She had met my husband once. She made the comment she didn't like him when she met him. She said something he said made her mad. When I asked what she said he'd made a comment about not to cit my hair too short or something like that. I found it interesting even her meeting him once, he rubbed her the wrong way.

Today I got back to some projects that have been sitting since all this happened. That felt nice. I have felt stuck in limbo for the past few months I guess, never knowing what to expect.

Anyway I will continue to update. Thanks for rooting for me and the support!

posts: 203   ·   registered: Jun. 22nd, 2019   ·   location: TN
id 8785465
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nomudnolotus ( member #59431) posted at 4:38 AM on Monday, April 3rd, 2023

I was just going to check on you KB so thanks for the post! The girls day sounds amazing :D

posts: 399   ·   registered: Jun. 30th, 2017
id 8785470
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Bor9455 ( member #72628) posted at 7:11 PM on Monday, April 3rd, 2023

I found it interesting even her meeting him once, he rubbed her the wrong way.

Our brains are far more powerful and perceptive than we are consciously aware. Your husband was probably giving off vibes and signals that scream "danger" at some level and her brain translated that from her subconscious as not liking him. There are so many things that we experience in our day to day lives that we can't consciously express what is happening, but there are all sorts of subconscious processes happening all the time.

Myself - BH & WH - Born 1985 Her - BW & WW - Born 1986

D-Day for WW's EA - October 2017D-Day no it turned PA - February 01, 2020

posts: 665   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2020   ·   location: Miami
id 8785536
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ArkLaMiss ( member #14918) posted at 8:28 PM on Monday, April 3rd, 2023

Glad to hear you and the kids are settling into yall's new normal. Hopefully your attorney and the judge can help you navigate how to deal with your inlaws/ex's special brand of Loco! Glad you did something just for yourself, too. You deserve it, in spades! Keep us updated and keep vigilant.

Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

posts: 1802   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2007
id 8785551
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 Kb82 (original poster member #70826) posted at 10:12 PM on Monday, April 3rd, 2023

Thanks for always checking on me and being supportive Nomud! smile

And thank ypu both,Bor and Ark, as well. Bor I think you are right about that. The past few days I've had that intuitive feeling I used to get often when WH was here. I knew something was brewing. Well today, the department of education called me. My kids are homeschooled. Wh was on board with it too, until an argument, and recently our separation. He uses it against me when possible. Inlaws always caused problems with it. I hate to tell them but homeschooling isn't illegal or abusive. I sent the paperwork from the kids umbrella school that keeps records to the lady at the department of education. My mother in law will use whatever she can against me instead of acknoedging any fault in her grown 40 year old son. She helped create the monster. Now she's got him back and I hope she's happy. When all this is said and done I have a few words for her.

posts: 203   ·   registered: Jun. 22nd, 2019   ·   location: TN
id 8785569
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ArkLaMiss ( member #14918) posted at 4:28 AM on Tuesday, April 4th, 2023

Ugh. Your Mil is the WORST. When this is over, I hope you have enough to file for a restraining order against her! I'd restrict her from being involved with your kids going forward in light of her shenanigans. What a witch!

Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

posts: 1802   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2007
id 8785608
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 Kb82 (original poster member #70826) posted at 4:56 PM on Tuesday, April 4th, 2023

Ark I agree. She's always caused problems. Always tried to undermine me and decisions WH and I made together.

posts: 203   ·   registered: Jun. 22nd, 2019   ·   location: TN
id 8785686
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nomudnolotus ( member #59431) posted at 2:57 AM on Wednesday, April 5th, 2023

Hopefully soon you won't have to worry about her KB and you and the kids can be happy!

posts: 399   ·   registered: Jun. 30th, 2017
id 8785744
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 Kb82 (original poster member #70826) posted at 2:47 PM on Friday, April 14th, 2023

Hey all, things have still been pretty quiet. The counselor that will be supervising the kids visits called me yesterday to set up a meeting with just me and the kids. He said he spoke with WH who asked "Who's paying for all this?" I told the counselor it's court ordered that WH pays. He can afford new tattoos apparently but can't pay for visits with his kids. Today is the 30 day mark for when I filed for divorce. So far WH hasn't responded to that either. So we will see what happens I guess. Just wanted to check in and update. Hope everyone is doing well.

posts: 203   ·   registered: Jun. 22nd, 2019   ·   location: TN
id 8786873
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Forks027 ( member #59996) posted at 6:28 PM on Friday, April 14th, 2023

Thanks for the update, Kb. It does feel like this quiet period may be the calm before the storm. Hope you’re all set to bring the thunder should it come to that.

Praying things will go in your favor.

posts: 553   ·   registered: Aug. 4th, 2017
id 8786968
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ArkLaMiss ( member #14918) posted at 6:09 PM on Sunday, April 16th, 2023

Kb, it's great to hear an update from you. I cannot BELIEVE your ex had the audacity to ask who was paying considering it was HE who set all this on motion. Smh. Did the courts make him submit to drug testing? I would definitely make that a condition going forward to protect your kids.
As for you, how are you holding up? This crap is hard!

Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

posts: 1802   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2007
id 8787115
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 Kb82 (original poster member #70826) posted at 2:58 AM on Wednesday, April 19th, 2023

Hey guys, thanks for the replies and support. ARK, I am holding up OK. I have good days and bad days. But lately more good days than bad. I spoke to my lawyers office yesterday. WH has not responded to the divorce. So, lawyer advised they are finalizing some paperwork and will try to push the divorce through the court. We were supposed to have our first meeting with the counselor who will be supervising visits tomorrow, but he called and canceled today. Apparently WH did not show up for his first meeting. So, the counselor is going to reschedule with him and make sure WH signs a contract to pay before meeting with us.

All of this is good news for the kids and I. I just don't comprehend WH not trying harder to see his children. On top of that he continues to spread lies that I am keeping him from them, when really, the ball has been in his court. He just refuses to try.

Anyway, the kids do not seem bothered by not having seen him in 2 months, which also surprised me. My 4 year old daughter randomly says stuff. The other day she asked me if I wanted a "new daddy that doesn't break stuff", which broke My heart. The older kids opened up and said they were uncomfortable at the visits because WH and MIL were asking tons of questions the entire time. Kids pick up on more than we realize.

The lady that used to own this house goes to church with my mom. I live I'm a super small town and am learning everyday how much people talk around here. anyway, this lady talked to my mom today and told my mom she knew WH and I had split bc someone in this town i dont even know had told her. This person knows the neighbor my WH was involved with and having spy on me. Apparently, according to this person, WH was LIVING with the neighbor for a short period after the night he was arrested. So all the weird things that WH knew suddenly make sense now. That creeps me out. But this neighbor has moved out thankfully.

Anyway, I will keep you guys posted. Thanks for all the support.

posts: 203   ·   registered: Jun. 22nd, 2019   ·   location: TN
id 8787458
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nomudnolotus ( member #59431) posted at 4:05 AM on Wednesday, April 19th, 2023

Glad to hear you are doing okay KB, I wouldn't worry about the gossip. People will quickly learn what your STBX really is.

posts: 399   ·   registered: Jun. 30th, 2017
id 8787463
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fareast ( Moderator #61555) posted at 4:15 AM on Wednesday, April 19th, 2023

Thanks for the update. Sounds like the kids are adjusting. Well done. Kudos to you. Keep moving forward and keep your head up. The D will happen no matter how much he tries to ignore it. Get the best terms you can. Sending continued strength.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 4:15 AM, Wednesday, April 19th]

Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.

posts: 3878   ·   registered: Nov. 24th, 2017
id 8787465
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 Kb82 (original poster member #70826) posted at 1:12 PM on Thursday, April 20th, 2023

Thanks guys. I will keep updating.

posts: 203   ·   registered: Jun. 22nd, 2019   ·   location: TN
id 8787640
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