Inbocaallupo (original poster new member #80764) posted at 2:44 PM on Tuesday, September 20th, 2022
Just wanted to send all of those in this community a thank you. I am thankful for all those who responded to my questions and grateful for those who lead with empathy when doing so. Josiep, ChamomileTea, EllieKMAS, Bulcy, watersofavalon your words of wisdom have really helped. Your making a positive dent in this little part of the world Thank you and will continue to read content.
Dorothy123 ( member #53116) posted at 3:04 PM on Tuesday, September 20th, 2022
Thanks for this.
I'm grateful for this community too.
HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 4:24 PM on Tuesday, September 20th, 2022
I truly hope you listened to those of us who were blunt. It's said around here,if something upsets you,it's probably because it hit a little top close to the truth.
Good luck to you.
josiep ( member #58593) posted at 12:52 PM on Wednesday, September 21st, 2022
Ironically, I felt badly after being so hard on you yesterday and was going to post again so I'm glad to see that you're still with us.
Just to make sure you understand a couple of things:
1. Every single one of us who has responded to you WANTS you to have a good life and a good marriage with the woman you love. Things ended badly for some of our marriages but it's human nature to want to believe in the goodness of people and the beauty of a good marriage and so when we see someone trying to get to that place, we often offer our experiences and our support because it's how we hang onto hope. I'm having trouble expressing what I mean but you're obviously a very intelligent person so you probably understand.
2. I can't speak for the others but I've been a blockhead my entire life and the things I wrote to you are things it took me a very long time to understand. Because I was the Master of the "Yes, but" syndrome. The All-Time Reigning Champion of Yes-butters. It's my job for the rest of my life to protect my title even though I was cured by a huge ComeUppance of epic proportions.
I guess in a way one could say that I sort of went into Mom mode on you - trying to steer the wayward (pun intended) child back into the fold.
Or something. I wish words came easier to me but whatever, whenever, however, I do wish you
BW, 70 YO; M 45 yrs., T 49 yrs.
DDay#1, 1982; DDay#2, May, 2017. Divorced.
HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 1:36 PM on Wednesday, September 21st, 2022
Why would you delete all of your posts,except this one?
The most logical reason is,you didn't want your wife to see them.
You didn't want her to see how you portrayed yourself a victim,and a WS who doesn't get it.
You continue to hide,and manipulate.
And you were mad that she wouldn't go to MC,and was still so upset. It's clear why she feels that way.
You aren't helping yourself. You are hurting her AND you.
Think about how freeing it would feel to just let it all out to her. To just be yourself. As a BS, I can tell you when your WS does that,it hurts. But,when it's genuine,we can tell. And it's a huge relief. We feel like we can breathe again.
Inbocaallupo (original poster new member #80764) posted at 3:54 AM on Friday, September 23rd, 2022
Josiep, thank you, I don't think you or many "others who were blunt" were to hard on me. I respect your views and that most are just attempting to help. I truly appreciate it.