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Newest Member: Goku06

Wayward Side :
Should I fake it?

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 WTDIEC (original poster new member #80750) posted at 6:45 PM on Friday, September 16th, 2022

Apart from when I Cheated. I have only ever done anything sexually with my BH.

I now only do anything sexual with my BH I never masterbate. I don't get horny unless I'm with BH. How TF am I supposed to make BH his sexy videos if I don't even feel sexual unless BH is right there next to me??????

I have told BH he can record me/us whenever he wants. It's not good enough.

I refuse to ever fake it with BH. I faked it with AP. But never with BH.

Should I fake it to make BH happy?

Am I supposed to have nothing forever?

Am I supposed to give everything and never get anything until the day I die?

[This message edited by WTDIEC at 8:06 PM, Friday, September 16th]

WW: WTDIEC (early 30's)
BH: RustyPuff (early 30's)
Together: 17 years
Children: 3 Girls 2 Boys
D-Day: June 21 2022
Still learning
Timeline in my story

posts: 26   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2022   ·   location: Australia
id 8755619
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Cooley2here ( member #62939) posted at 7:48 PM on Friday, September 16th, 2022

No!

When things go wrong, don’t go with them. Elvis

posts: 3491   ·   registered: Mar. 5th, 2018   ·   location: US
id 8755628
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 WTDIEC (original poster new member #80750) posted at 7:50 PM on Friday, September 16th, 2022

Cooley2here

Then what am I supposed to do?

My head won't let me do or be anything sexual without BH.....

BH says he wants it from me but how?

[This message edited by WTDIEC at 7:52 PM, Friday, September 16th]

WW: WTDIEC (early 30's)
BH: RustyPuff (early 30's)
Together: 17 years
Children: 3 Girls 2 Boys
D-Day: June 21 2022
Still learning
Timeline in my story

posts: 26   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2022   ·   location: Australia
id 8755629
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HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 7:53 PM on Friday, September 16th, 2022

I Emotionally cheated

I faked it with AP

So you physically cheated as well?

And..wow. Me,me,me. Where is your remorse?

A tad dramatic.

You've traumatized your husband..but you're worried you are supposed to have nothing until you die?

No. Don't fake it. You've lied to him enough.

Your husband clearly wants sexy pics and videos,because you freely gave those to another man.

All he is hearing is that you had no problem doing these pics for another man..but now you can't for him.

[This message edited by HellFire at 7:56 PM, Friday, September 16th]

posts: 4655   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2017   ·   location: The Midwest
id 8755630
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RustyPuff ( new member #80751) posted at 7:55 PM on Friday, September 16th, 2022

Edit: delete

[This message edited by RustyPuff at 8:02 PM, Friday, September 16th]

posts: 3   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2022   ·   location: Australia
id 8755631
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 WTDIEC (original poster new member #80750) posted at 7:56 PM on Friday, September 16th, 2022

So you physically cheated as well?


No I didn't. Unless virtual is physically....

And..wow. Me,me,me. Where is your remorse?


I get like that at times yes. Only when everything seems hopeless.

I have come here to get some help. I know I'm going to get hate.

BH has asked this of me. I want to know how.

WW: WTDIEC (early 30's)
BH: RustyPuff (early 30's)
Together: 17 years
Children: 3 Girls 2 Boys
D-Day: June 21 2022
Still learning
Timeline in my story

posts: 26   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2022   ·   location: Australia
id 8755632
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 WTDIEC (original poster new member #80750) posted at 7:58 PM on Friday, September 16th, 2022

I'm not even allowed to sort myself out with IC and now I feel that this has to happen immediately.

WW: WTDIEC (early 30's)
BH: RustyPuff (early 30's)
Together: 17 years
Children: 3 Girls 2 Boys
D-Day: June 21 2022
Still learning
Timeline in my story

posts: 26   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2022   ·   location: Australia
id 8755633
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HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 8:00 PM on Friday, September 16th, 2022

Rustypuff..this thread will probably be moved to the wayward forum. I suggest you start your own thread,and get support,or just vent. Put "vent" in the title of the thread, and it will prevent your wife from being able to comment.

posts: 4655   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2017   ·   location: The Midwest
id 8755635
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HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 8:01 PM on Friday, September 16th, 2022

Can you send him sexy pics,and videos, without the orgasm?

posts: 4655   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2017   ·   location: The Midwest
id 8755636
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 WTDIEC (original poster new member #80750) posted at 8:02 PM on Friday, September 16th, 2022

Put "vent" in the title of the thread, and it will prevent your wife from being able to comment.


I never put replies in his posts as they are for him.

WW: WTDIEC (early 30's)
BH: RustyPuff (early 30's)
Together: 17 years
Children: 3 Girls 2 Boys
D-Day: June 21 2022
Still learning
Timeline in my story

posts: 26   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2022   ·   location: Australia
id 8755637
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 WTDIEC (original poster new member #80750) posted at 8:03 PM on Friday, September 16th, 2022

Can you send him sexy pics,and videos, without the orgasm?

Pictures yes.

Videos without an orgasm.... That would be faking it

Also I am worried about it being a trigger for him

[This message edited by WTDIEC at 8:36 PM, Friday, September 16th]

WW: WTDIEC (early 30's)
BH: RustyPuff (early 30's)
Together: 17 years
Children: 3 Girls 2 Boys
D-Day: June 21 2022
Still learning
Timeline in my story

posts: 26   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2022   ·   location: Australia
id 8755638
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HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 8:04 PM on Friday, September 16th, 2022

Can you send him sexy pics,and videos, without the orgasm?

You sexually and emotionally cheated. You sent naked pics, and sexy videos to OM. You don't have to touch OM for it to not be a sexual affair.

Saying it was just emotional minimizes what happened.

posts: 4655   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2017   ·   location: The Midwest
id 8755639
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 WTDIEC (original poster new member #80750) posted at 8:05 PM on Friday, September 16th, 2022

Saying it was just emotional minimizes what happened.

I have started IC and am working on these issues. Thank you for pointing it out

WW: WTDIEC (early 30's)
BH: RustyPuff (early 30's)
Together: 17 years
Children: 3 Girls 2 Boys
D-Day: June 21 2022
Still learning
Timeline in my story

posts: 26   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2022   ·   location: Australia
id 8755640
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HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 8:09 PM on Friday, September 16th, 2022

No hate. Pointing out how your BH feels about this,and any minimization,isn't hate.

Not all help comes with hugs and back pats.

It would help you to understand that.

His request is super common for BH. If you can't do it,don't. He will figure out how he needs to deal with that.

posts: 4655   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2017   ·   location: The Midwest
id 8755641
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 WTDIEC (original poster new member #80750) posted at 8:14 PM on Friday, September 16th, 2022

I can but it wouldn't be genuine.

That is my issue.

It wasn't genuine with AP but the ones I have made with/for BH over the years have been.

I've been told to stop saying "BH never ...."

Yet BH does that to me.

When will it start to feel like we might actually be able to start any moving forward when it feels like we are stuck on a cycle of hurt and arguing or just not talking about anything that matters at all?

[This message edited by WTDIEC at 8:17 PM, Friday, September 16th]

WW: WTDIEC (early 30's)
BH: RustyPuff (early 30's)
Together: 17 years
Children: 3 Girls 2 Boys
D-Day: June 21 2022
Still learning
Timeline in my story

posts: 26   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2022   ·   location: Australia
id 8755643
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 WTDIEC (original poster new member #80750) posted at 8:23 PM on Friday, September 16th, 2022

His request is super common for BH. If you can't do it,don't. He will figure out how he needs to deal with that.

I feel that if I don't he wont want me ever again. Won't want to talk to me and just silently hate me forever....

WW: WTDIEC (early 30's)
BH: RustyPuff (early 30's)
Together: 17 years
Children: 3 Girls 2 Boys
D-Day: June 21 2022
Still learning
Timeline in my story

posts: 26   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2022   ·   location: Australia
id 8755645
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 WTDIEC (original poster new member #80750) posted at 8:44 PM on Friday, September 16th, 2022

I just asked BH why he woke me up.

And I quote BH

"You should stay awake and feel sorry for yourself"

BTW it's 5:40am

[This message edited by WTDIEC at 8:48 PM, Friday, September 16th]

WW: WTDIEC (early 30's)
BH: RustyPuff (early 30's)
Together: 17 years
Children: 3 Girls 2 Boys
D-Day: June 21 2022
Still learning
Timeline in my story

posts: 26   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2022   ·   location: Australia
id 8755646
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gainingclosure ( member #79667) posted at 8:49 PM on Friday, September 16th, 2022

I would not ever fake it. You need to have authentic communication with your BH from here on out in all areas. No more faking it, telling white lies, or keeping things by ommision. You reveal whats on your mind. Otherwise its not going to ever be a fully healthy relationship.

For men, its not even a thing because lets face it, you can tell. Sometimes it doesnt happen. Be like a man in this regard. If he cant understand or respect that then thsts his problem.

"You should stay awake and feel sorry for yourself"

This is a form of emotional abuse and its not ok. He needs to recognize that.

[This message edited by gainingclosure at 8:51 PM, Friday, September 16th]

Reconciling BH. Full story is in my bio."The soul is dyed with the color of its thoughts" - Marcus Aurelius

posts: 88   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2021
id 8755648
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 WTDIEC (original poster new member #80750) posted at 8:54 PM on Friday, September 16th, 2022

I have tried to explain that I'm working on trying to do more for him sexually.

But I find it more real and genuine in person.

Videos and pictures feel fake to me.

BH's reply is always
"You did it for AP but not for me"

WW: WTDIEC (early 30's)
BH: RustyPuff (early 30's)
Together: 17 years
Children: 3 Girls 2 Boys
D-Day: June 21 2022
Still learning
Timeline in my story

posts: 26   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2022   ·   location: Australia
id 8755649
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 WTDIEC (original poster new member #80750) posted at 8:57 PM on Friday, September 16th, 2022

This is a form of emotional abuse and its not ok. He needs to recognize that.

BH's response. Cut and pasted so yes exactly what he said.

"oh i recognize that, i also recognise this only started because you couldnt answer a fucking question and went to *sleep* less then 5 minutes after getting in bed"

I can fall asleep at the drop of a hat.

[This message edited by WTDIEC at 9:38 PM, Friday, September 16th]

WW: WTDIEC (early 30's)
BH: RustyPuff (early 30's)
Together: 17 years
Children: 3 Girls 2 Boys
D-Day: June 21 2022
Still learning
Timeline in my story

posts: 26   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2022   ·   location: Australia
id 8755650
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