Old timer here now seeking help for my dear stepson(DSS) and grandkids. Seeking advice on how to handle parental alienation and possibly leads for professional assistance in SoCal.
DSS has been in the process of divorcing his adulterous STBXW for a few years now. The major delay has been due to the California courts having been closed for a period of time because of Covid and the court calendars being clogged.
DSS has 2 young children whom he adores. He is a genuinely good dad. He lives alone in a modest home with nice bedrooms for each of the kids. STBXW continues to live with the kids and her mother in the original family home. The mother has lived with them for many years.
The older child has been seeing a therapist for anxiety issues. STBXW is also a client of this therapist and has convinced the therapist that she is a victim and my DSS is a monster. Familiar story? She's NPD all the way. It's amazing this therapist bought into it.
On a daily basis the children are told by both their mother and grandmother that the father is a bad person. They berate the father in front of the children at every opportunity. For example, the children have sports events/practices that they attend during the week. Both parents often attend. DSS sits in a different area in order to avoid conflict. The grandmother, his STBXMIL, calls him names under her breath but loud enough for the children to hear. Separately, the STBXW pulls the children away from DSS when they are in his custody so they will stay near her and demands their attention. The children have been told directly that there will be "consequences" if they talk with their father. Another example is when the kids went to an amusement park after the dad bought them annual passes. They had a great time and told their mother about it. The mother responded by telling the kids they would die if they went on any rides and that the dad wasn't taking good care of them by letting them go on rides. This is a major theme park he took them to, not a little traveling carnival set up on a street corner.
The parents are encouraged to speak with the kids by phone during their non custodial days. When STBXW calls, DSS puts the kids on the phone and gives them a private place to talk as per court order. When DSS calls the kids, she either ignores the calls and doesn't tell the kids the dad called, or she tells the kids to say they don't want to talk to the dad, or she distracts the kids while they are on the call. One day she even told the younger child that she couldn't finish her dinner (it would be taken away) if she got on the phone with her dad.
STBXW is an elementary school teacher who has studied child development. Her knowledge of how to manipulate young children makes her evil.
STBXW has a very aggressive female attorney, not unlike herself, and the judge seems swayed in her direction. Comments and requests by DSS are generally dismissed.
Advice will be greatly appreciated. If anyone has leads on professionals in the Southern California area who can help that would be appreciated also.