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Newest Member: trustingyou

Divorce/Separation :
3 Year Antiversary of Dday2, Decision to D

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 leafields (original poster member #63517) posted at 1:59 AM on Sunday, August 28th, 2022

Friday was the 3-year mark of when XWH confessed to his latest blunder with inappropriate behavior with a female. I was done and told him that I wanted a D. And about 4.5 years from dday1.

This year, I have felt like I am healing and am going to be ok. The only lingering issue is being hyperalert in the car. Catch something out of the corner of my eye or somebody isn't slowing for the light, and I sometimes jump in my seat.

I haven't tried dating yet because I'm enjoying going where I want and doing what I want. I'm going to different local places and am liking that I don't have to deal with a crabby man being a jerk.

Years 1-3 were so pain-filled that I didn't think I'd ever make it through. This past year has been the best year I've had in a very long time.

If you're starting your journey, just hang in there and keep working on you. It does get better.

How did I make it? Mindfulness and meditation were game changers. Also important was taking on the BASGU mindset. That's Bad Ass Sparkling Unicorn Goddess. (Thanks, Chaos) Find something that makes you feel your best, most bad assault self - and wear it.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 1334   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8752617
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The1stWife ( member #58832) posted at 12:27 PM on Sunday, August 28th, 2022

Great post. Good for people to know you can make it to the point of joy and happiness in your life.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 12533   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8752641
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Summertime22 ( member #79796) posted at 9:49 PM on Sunday, August 28th, 2022

Thank you for your inspiring post leafields.

I needed that today. Thank you for giving me hope. X

posts: 151   ·   registered: Jan. 16th, 2022   ·   location: UK
id 8752717
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Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 6:32 PM on Monday, August 29th, 2022

Inspiring

Just wanted to send positive thoughts your way. This is tough stuff and we have both been on this journey for about the same time.

I developed hyperalertness as a result of my marriage and am receiving targeted help healing and downregulating my nervous system.

I wish you continued peace and healing.

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1030   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: VA
id 8752842
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Helena67 ( new member #80506) posted at 6:11 PM on Tuesday, August 30th, 2022

I’m glad that you have found your way! I have started this difficult journey and it is good to know that there is light at the end of the tunel!! Thank you!!

BS (me) 55 years; WS 54 years.
24 years married.
D day 6-2-2022.
Divorcing.

I’m healing and I’m growing

posts: 32   ·   registered: Aug. 10th, 2022   ·   location: The Netherlands
id 8752975
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Charity411 ( member #41033) posted at 1:31 AM on Saturday, September 3rd, 2022

Leafields, you are so right. There comes a turning point when you know you are going to be not only ok, but better than ever. I'm so glad you are making it there!

posts: 1639   ·   registered: Oct. 18th, 2013   ·   location: Illinois
id 8753653
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HarryD ( member #72423) posted at 2:50 PM on Saturday, September 3rd, 2022

You can go out on "dates" just to have a good time, even if your dating partner is a jerk, that should not stop you from having a good time. No where says that a relationship, Going out on enough dates you may just fine what you are looking for. Or not

posts: 114   ·   registered: Dec. 30th, 2019   ·   location: NY
id 8753699
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