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Newest Member: trustingyou

Divorce/Separation :
Don’t want this roommate any more

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 DroppedShoe (original poster new member #80500) posted at 12:32 PM on Thursday, August 18th, 2022

Two weeks since DD, one week since I started on the divorce. First mediation is Friday. He is in full denial/TT mode, trying to make me feel crazy while at the same time suddenly being the Fun Dad, Mr. Mom and devoted dog parent that he never was during the last 18 years.

I am tired of living with him but don’t want to leave him to n the house with my kids and dogs. He won’t move, we’ll have to force the sake of the house. But he doesn’t want to sell the house…..so frustrating!!

How did you get from having to live together to separation? Anything I need to watch out for?

Let this be the lose weight kind of stress not the gain weight kind.

posts: 37   ·   registered: Aug. 9th, 2022   ·   location: Los Angeles
id 8750941
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The1stWife ( member #58832) posted at 12:14 AM on Friday, August 19th, 2022

He doesn’t want to sell the house?! 🤣 ROFLMAO!

As though he now has a choice.

Speak to your attorney. There must be some way to get him out of your physical presence.

[This message edited by The1stWife at 2:21 PM, Monday, September 5th]

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 12534   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8751017
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TheEnd ( member #72213) posted at 1:49 AM on Friday, August 19th, 2022

Can you find a rental for you and the kids and dogs? If you can afford it, it might be best for your mental health. It also might bring him closer to reality.

I mean if you're going to have to sell the house anyway, just go. Sign a one year lease and when the divorce is final, look for your new home.

It's messy, I know. And exhausting. But it might be a needed step to preserve your sanity and get out from the hell he is imposing on you. And it's only temporary.

posts: 249   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2019
id 8751030
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homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 3:36 AM on Friday, August 19th, 2022

My atty got it where wife and children have exclusive use of the house until the final divorce. It’s pretty standard where I live. (If the wife is the main caregiver of the children)

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 1:35 PM, Friday, August 19th]

Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55

posts: 5444   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2012
id 8751042
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nutmegkitty ( member #33882) posted at 8:55 PM on Friday, August 19th, 2022

Please don’t sign anything in mediation without having your own attorney review it first.

Me - happy!
2 DDs

Very happily divorced from an NPD since 2013.

posts: 4399   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2011   ·   location: MA
id 8751217
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Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 2:42 AM on Monday, September 5th, 2022

"Anything I need to watch out for?"

My personal experience was that I had to watch out for absolutely everything with WH and I still do. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and it was the snake that is still biting me. 🐍 🐍

My personal experience was that there was infidelity on many levels and financial infidelity was part of it.

There are people on this site who have had very different divorce stories from mine so your mileage may vary. I deeply regret every bit of benefit of the doubt I gave WH and every time I did not press the advantage when I had it.

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1030   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: VA
id 8753920
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HarryD ( member #72423) posted at 2:11 PM on Monday, September 5th, 2022

Normally the wife and kids live in the home until the kids reach 18. He doesn’t want his kids sleeping on the streets. Divorce is the end of the marriage and his control. He doesn’t decide what go anymore. He will have to leave the home.

posts: 114   ·   registered: Dec. 30th, 2019   ·   location: NY
id 8753962
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justabrokendream ( member #3075) posted at 6:46 PM on Monday, September 5th, 2022

Reason #1 why I don't agree with mediation with gaslighters... Oh and look at my join date - I've seen it all and don't comment much.

[This message edited by justabrokendream at 6:47 PM, Monday, September 5th]

posts: 484   ·   registered: Jan. 3rd, 2004   ·   location: CA
id 8753997
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