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Made it through father's day and don't feel the slightest bit bad about not sending a card to the cheater

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 Shehawk (original poster member #68741) posted at 4:25 PM on Monday, June 20th, 2022

I made it through father's day and I do not feel the slightest bit bad not sending W still legal H a card or not wishing him happy father's day.

I now reserve that for people who are actual good fathers. To me that is the people who show up every day and make a difference in their children's lives. The people who do the hard stuff and make the sacrifices and live their lives with decency and authenticity.

I am unapologetic that I think W still legal husband caused a category 5 tornado level of collateral damage to our family. He continues to blame others for his behavior. In the words in the cartoon movie Buzz Light-year he is still viewing Zurg (everyone else) responsible for "every cat up a tree".
All of that is not the Hallmark kinda father I am gonna acknowledge on father's day.

People might judge me for it. People who thinks his infidelity was just a simple mistake and I am just being a sore looser because I was dumped laugh To them I say MYOB.

If there is anything the last 4 plus years has taught me, I personally (any one else's mileage may vary) am much better off not caring what people think and it felt really good to not make this dumpster fire my still legal husband started into a Hallmark card moment.

Happy belated father's day to all the good fathers in the forums who are doing their best including the Former waywords who are owning their stuff and healing their families.

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1258   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: VA
id 8741054

crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 4:46 PM on Monday, June 20th, 2022

My XWS gets nothing from me too. I have to stay no contact with him as he is constantly trying to berate me or lovebomb me. He's not the worst dad but he's also not the best dad.

You do not owe him anything, this is your life and I'm glad you too didn't feel the need to acknowledge this day for him.

fBS/fWS(me):49 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:51 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(19) DS(16)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014

posts: 8444   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 8741058

PSTI ( member #53103) posted at 7:13 PM on Monday, June 20th, 2022

Why would people judge you for it?

If my kid wanted to send a father's day card, he would ask, and I'd help him buy one and get postage. But on my own? Nah.

My son chose not to. My ex puts no effort into their relationship, so you sow what you reap.

Me: BW, my xH left me & DS after a 14 year marriage for the AP in 2014.

Happily remarried and in an open/polyamorous relationship. DH (married 5 years) & DBF (dating 4 years). Cohabitating happily all together!! <3

posts: 901   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2016
id 8741089

morningglory ( member #80236) posted at 3:23 AM on Tuesday, June 21st, 2022

My cheater ex tried to pressure me into an abortion, with the covert support of his AP. He asked me to moan more quietly when I was in labor with his child, so he could get some sleep. He quit his job to avoid paying child support after we split up.

I could go on. Instead, I'll summarize by stating that I don't feel guilty for not recognizing him on Father's Day.

posts: 454   ·   registered: Apr. 15th, 2022
id 8741156
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