doninvaun (original poster new member #75329) posted at 4:35 PM on Friday, June 17th, 2022
The rule that requires minimum 50 posts before new member can PM someone is ludicrous.
What's the reason? I understand the need to weed out trolls, but 50? I think 20 would be much more than sufficient.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 5:34 PM on Friday, June 17th, 2022
The guidelines have a section on what to do if you disagree with the mods. Please refresh your knowledge of the guidelines.
Thinking back to my pre-staff days, I used to think SI works because it is public, so I was always OK with the 50 post requirement. Besides, I post a lot.
I'll pass this on.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 1:21 PM on Friday, June 24th, 2022
I personally think 50 is a great number . I have seen on here where the adultery co-conspirator has come on this site...posing as a BW...to write to the ACTUAL BW...who became the BW because the adultery co-conspirator cheated with her WH!!
I have also seen WS's who come on here to harass their BS.
This is an anonymous site...but someone in the A triangle could pick up hints from a person's writing on here that could hone them in on WHO that person is who is writing on here...whichever side of the triangle they are on.
I certainly wouldn't have wanted my H to be able to PM me when I first got on here!!! I know it took no time before I reached 50 posts as I was looking for HELP from the wonderful vets on here. I am happy that I have that insulation as well still now from would be trolls .
A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.
With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)
I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!
From respect comes great love...sassylee
emergent8 ( member #58189) posted at 4:58 PM on Friday, June 24th, 2022
I think it's a good rule too. It prevents people with less than good intentions (or who might not be in a healthy headspace) from harassing other members here who have been brave enough to share their story publicly. This goes for WS who are here only for show to convince their BS that they are "doing the work" when they are actually here to get information on how to gain information on "the right story to tell" their BS in order to sweep things under the rug.
Likewise, it prevents triggered BSs who can't help themselves from taking the frustrations and vitriol that they have for their own WS out on new WS who are actually here for the right reasons but can be easily "scared off"
It prevents posters from both sides of the fence from harassment from members who happened to post something unpopular.
If members have been here long enough to post 50 times, they've probably spent enough time on here participating, to get a feel for how this community works.
Me: BS, Him: WS. Mid-late 30s.
Together 15 years, married 6 (11 m at D-Day).
D-Day: Feb 2017 (8 m PA with married COW).
5 years (and two toddlers) into R. Happy.
BluerThanBlue ( member #74855) posted at 8:39 PM on Monday, June 27th, 2022
Considering how many people can spew out about 50 tweets or Facebook posts over the course of a single week, 50 posts on SI is perfectly reasonable.
BW, age 40
Divorced WH in 2015; now happily remarried to a great guy
I edit my comments a lot for spelling, grammar, typos, etc.