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Newest Member: Arcangel

Divorce/Separation :
Xws wishing me Happy Anniversay

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 crazyblindsided (original poster member #35215) posted at 4:33 PM on Friday, June 17th, 2022

Um yeah... look

I just don't know how to feel about this. I have my Xws blocked but have email open for child emergencies and I got this email about how he wants to put his family back together, cannot imagine being with another person lol Happy Anniversary!

The day of our wedding anniversary has held no significance since D-Day. I have voiced this to him many times since D-Day and was usually met with frustration and anger from him. Since our Legal Separation has been finalized why would it hold any significance for me now?

I of course am not going to respond.

Even if he was a normal healthy person I'm not sure I would want to work on the M. That ship sailed long ago. There are no feelings, what I do feel for him is trepidation, anxiety, disgust, repulsion, and weird empathy for not wanting to hurt him. I do feel sorry for him but I don't want to be with him EVER.

No matter how many times I have explained this to him it doesn't register.

fBS/fWS(me):48 Mad-hattered after DD1
XWS:51 Serial Cheater, NPD tendencies
Together 25 years, Married 19
DD(18) DS(15)
DD1 (2008) COW, DD2 (2012) MOW, False R (2014) Same MOW. DD3 (2019) Webcam girl

posts: 8251   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 8740705
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OwningItNow ( member #52288) posted at 6:32 PM on Friday, June 17th, 2022

Narcissists love the game and potential to win and feel uber-validation (get what they want regardless of fairness or rational thought). He will always want to win at the game of "happy family picture" or he'll want to win at ruining you in every conceivable way. He'll go back and forth in a nonsensical whiplash because it will never, ever be about you or your worth or lack thereof. He values winning (getting the upper hand, getting what makes him look good, getting away with everything) because it feels fantastic to him. It is the only feeling he values.

He wants from you, he does not want anything for you. He wants to take.

Expect a lifetime of unpredictable and illogical behavior. Ugh. Sorry.

[This message edited by OwningItNow at 6:33 PM, Friday, June 17th]

me: BS/WSh: WS/BS

Reject the rejector. Do not reject yourself.

posts: 5555   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2016   ·   location: Midwest
id 8740740
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 7:54 PM on Friday, June 17th, 2022

What a maroon. It’s all about him.

Glad you are clear on your path! Just step over him and keep moving forward.

Me: BS 55 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 4788   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8740750
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 crazyblindsided (original poster member #35215) posted at 9:18 PM on Friday, June 17th, 2022

He wants from you, he does not want anything for you. He wants to take.

Expect a lifetime of unpredictable and illogical behavior. Ugh. Sorry.

His messages are always about him. He does not take into accountability how I feel or how things affect me. It is so blatantly obvious to me now it makes me wonder where my head was at all those years spent with him duh

If I could tell my younger self what this type of person is omg. Yes I pray he finds someone I just can't and don't understand why he can't move on.

[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 9:23 PM, Friday, June 17th]

fBS/fWS(me):48 Mad-hattered after DD1
XWS:51 Serial Cheater, NPD tendencies
Together 25 years, Married 19
DD(18) DS(15)
DD1 (2008) COW, DD2 (2012) MOW, False R (2014) Same MOW. DD3 (2019) Webcam girl

posts: 8251   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 8740767
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 crazyblindsided (original poster member #35215) posted at 9:20 PM on Friday, June 17th, 2022

What a maroon. It’s all about him.

It always is. I think that's why I have so much anxiety. It is that I don't even factor into any of it. Not how I feel or what I want. It's what HE wants.

fBS/fWS(me):48 Mad-hattered after DD1
XWS:51 Serial Cheater, NPD tendencies
Together 25 years, Married 19
DD(18) DS(15)
DD1 (2008) COW, DD2 (2012) MOW, False R (2014) Same MOW. DD3 (2019) Webcam girl

posts: 8251   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 8740768
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