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Newest Member: Isabel121

New Beginnings :
Feeling like a SadSack

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 Suchasadsack (original poster member #59690) posted at 2:55 AM on Wednesday, June 15th, 2022

I haven’t posted in years. I’m feeling blue. I was seeing somebody lightly, sometimes not so lightly after XWH, for a few years, which he ultimately ended in October. I had dated this person decades before and reconnected a few years ago. I haven’t made much, really any effort to connect with anyone new. I am lonely, busy and have things I should be getting done , but lonely. I have friends and family who I am grateful for, but lonely. I have always needed alone time and spend a lot of time alone, but this is different. I am sad that feelings change. I don’t need to get married, not even sure I could, but would like to love and be loved. I obsess over past relationships and the fact that things always change or end. I am not saying I am a total victim. I wasn’t always the greatest spouse. I just am feeling very low today. Walking has been helping immensely these past couple of weeks, but today I didn’t have the gumption, for even that. It is a semi-pity party, but more like a why even bother soirée. I’m not even sure what I want. Thought putting it into words might help. Thanks for reading.

[This message edited by Suchasadsack at 3:07 AM, Wednesday, June 15th]

Hey little fighter, soon things will get brighter!

posts: 183   ·   registered: Jul. 16th, 2017
id 8740269
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Solarchick ( new member #80222) posted at 3:52 AM on Wednesday, June 15th, 2022

I'm not into pity parties, but a why even bother soirée could be right up my alley!

It's perfectly fine to be not OK for a while so you can take some time to process and figure stuff out. Last time I checked, we're not being graded on this, and it's not even a pass/fail course. (My BFF tells me this "taking time to process" thing is a healthy thing to do, but he may be crazy himself, so take that with a grain of salt. laugh )

Cut yourself a break and be kind to yourself. You'll be OK. Because really, what's the option? Turn into a raving maniac or a depressed hermit? I don't think you'd let it get that far, and if you get too far down either of those paths, you have friends and family to guide you back. Plus, you have all of us to talk to.

(((((Hugs)))))

Me: BW, too many times to count. 55, two awesome grown sons. Remarried in 2010. That lasted 11 years.
WXH: Who cares? He's a dumpster fire shit show. NC since D (with cause) in 2004.
D-Day: A very bad day in June 2003. Then July, August...

posts: 33   ·   registered: Apr. 11th, 2022   ·   location: Hilton Head, SC
id 8740277
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The1stWife ( member #58832) posted at 12:21 PM on Wednesday, June 15th, 2022

It’s hard when relationships end.

Sometimes it’s nothing to do w/ you - it’s more about the other person.

I had a series of guys in my 20s where it was one date and then ghosted. Why? Once they realized I wasn’t sleeping with them in the first date they dumped me. Hurtful? Absolutely.

Then there were the ones who were my boyfriend who dumped me when they thought "something better" came along. Days or weeks later they came crawling back expecting me to take them back.

So you see how it’s hurtful to be in a relationship that ends but it has very little to do with you sometimes.

Don’t blame yourself. Be sad but at least thankful the person was honest.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 12171   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8740298
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Bingo ( member #72835) posted at 2:18 AM on Thursday, June 16th, 2022

I have this fantasy and in it I meet someone and everything is just so easy..

No doubt, no fear, no confusion, no hurt, just pure, simple joy!

Whoa...what a fantasy, right?

You deserve a pity party after enduring the pain of infidelity. We'll whine together...

Hugs to you, luv!

posts: 134   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2020   ·   location: Indiana
id 8740409
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 Suchasadsack (original poster member #59690) posted at 2:29 AM on Thursday, June 16th, 2022

Aww, thanks for the wise and kind words, all. It is nice to communicate with people who have had the same kind of pain (s)…. Although, of course I would rather none of us had that in common. Hugs to you all.

Hey little fighter, soon things will get brighter!

posts: 183   ·   registered: Jul. 16th, 2017
id 8740411
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morningglory ( member #80236) posted at 1:23 PM on Friday, June 17th, 2022

I'm right there with you in terms of missing love. It's important and it's so wrong that we don't have it.

I'm not ready to date yet. When (if) I do, I'm not going to get into any more unmarried LTR's. The guys who want those are typically the guys who will eventually leave and move on.

posts: 378   ·   registered: Apr. 15th, 2022
id 8740596
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MegMeg ( new member #79978) posted at 5:48 PM on Friday, June 17th, 2022

I get like that, too. It usually devolves into TV time and some not-so-good ice cream, a ban on housework and any effort to look nice - but here's the catch - its a one day limit. Two days is a trend and I can't go there again. I think it works for me because it's a plan.

Celebrate your ability to wallow for a bit!

((Hugs))

Me: BS | Him: WS | Children: Grown | Married: 36 years

posts: 39   ·   registered: Feb. 20th, 2022   ·   location: Stuck in the mire
id 8740732
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MegMeg ( new member #79978) posted at 6:31 PM on Friday, June 17th, 2022

Oops! Duplicate!

[This message edited by MegMeg at 6:34 PM, Friday, June 17th]

Me: BS | Him: WS | Children: Grown | Married: 36 years

posts: 39   ·   registered: Feb. 20th, 2022   ·   location: Stuck in the mire
id 8740739
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CoderMom ( member #66033) posted at 4:29 AM on Friday, July 1st, 2022

Everyone has times where things just aren't where they would like them to be. The important part is that you don't give in to the victim mentality and you become a warrior mentality and take charge of your life and work on your issues so that you are someone that someone else would want a relationship with. Are you ready for a relationship or do you still have work to do?

posts: 293   ·   registered: Aug. 31st, 2018
id 8742837
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