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Off Topic :
Revenge? =O

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 Gottagetthrough (original poster member #27325) posted at 11:02 PM on Saturday, November 6th, 2021

So sorry to post. It had some stuff that was a little too identifying in it so I am rewriting and being much more vague.

If you know a person who is not a good person, shitty morals, and you find out they are a Catholic school teacher.

Is it bad to call the diocese and tell them what you know about them?

I do not like this person and at first thought, oh, youre just vengeful, dont call.

The more i think about this, i would want to know that the person teaching at the school is like this, so that i can keep an eye out and if she is unfair to a kid, i will catch it early.

[This message edited by Gottagetthrough at 1:17 AM, Sunday, November 7th]

posts: 3638   ·   registered: Jan. 22nd, 2010
id 8697295
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Lionne ( member #25560) posted at 8:48 AM on Monday, November 8th, 2021

Sigh. You have GOT to get your head away from all the people who have wronged you. I can't help but think this is making you sick. Clearly, you are obsessed with all the injustices you've endured. I get it, no one was more obsessive than I.

Don't call the diocese. You'll just change the opinion of yourself held by those who receive the information. And even skanky cheaters can be effective teachers, ask me how I know. barf

I grew up in a dysfunctional home. It was clearly not fair in any way, shape or form. It caused me to become hypervigilant in all my dealings. I lost myself, my joy, my confidence, in my attempt to understand and change the behavior of the people in my life. It made me sick. In my early 20s I found a counselor who said "you've clearly been shit upon. Now, are you going to let that affect the way you live the rest of your life, let your experiences cripple you forever? Or are you going to live your own life?" Her words changed me. My brother was equally abused as a child, turned to drugs, wound up in jail, had a counselor say very much the same thing. He's been sober 25 years.

12 step work would help you. An -anon program, Al-anon, S-anon, etc. You learn, and after hearing this message 100 times, come to understand that you have NO control over the actions of others, but TOTAL control over how you react to those actions, and can choose to not let it affect you.

You need to rebuild your life internally and let go of expectations that others should behave in certain ways. Otherwise, your trauma will seep into the souls of your kids creating generational trauma that will persist.

I get it. Your husband, his co-conspirators, your neighbors, your in-laws are all ignorant, uncaring people who have wronged you and your kids. They truly did! You can choose to let them live in your head or choose to evict them and live a happy, drama free life.

Let go and let GOD.

I'm holding you in the LIGHT.

Me-BS-65 in May<BR />HIM-SAFWH-68<BR />I just wanted a normal life.<BR />Normal trauma would have been appreciated.

posts: 8432   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2009   ·   location: In my head
id 8697480
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The1stWife ( member #58832) posted at 11:51 AM on Monday, November 8th, 2021

You will get through this IF YOU decide to change.

Change your thoughts
Change your focus
Change your expectations
Change your mindset
Change your behavior

I think I mentioned my MIL was equally as evil. Nasty person who tried to turn the family against me and my H. Except my H put a stop to it and for 20 years we had minimal contact until she said one last thing that crossed the line snd my H cut all contact.

We moved away from the toxicity and enjoyed our life.

And when she passed away my h went to the funeral out of respect. But no tears were shed for someone who was evil and nasty because 20 years of no relationship killed any feelings.

You keep posting about them and all their poor choices and disrespect.

I hope to see you post about elevating yourself away from these snobs.

We live in the same area. I know the kind of people you have for in-laws. I can tell you I live in a town filled with them and they are not my type. They think $ is everything. They think who the hell they are.

Except that doesn’t matter to people like me. And I’m not impressed.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 10890   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8697489
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 Gottagetthrough (original poster member #27325) posted at 5:10 PM on Monday, November 8th, 2021

Thanks for the feedback. I DO feel like the people who have wronged me need to have some sort of "justice "

The person who’s a teacher now, she advised my wh to call cps on my mom and have her house checked to see if it was safe for my kids. Which is laughable- my mom is clean and worked with kids her entire career.


The cops came 3x and scared the dickens out of my then 4 year old (she even wet her pants once). Thanks to SIL trying to get back at me.

Instead of calling the church, i am going to schedule my first flying lesson.

I am going to try to push out everyone who has crapped on me and fill my head with bucket list items- flying lessons, learning a language, etc, and my good friends who are worth my time.

Thank you all

posts: 3638   ·   registered: Jan. 22nd, 2010
id 8697541
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Lionne ( member #25560) posted at 6:04 PM on Monday, November 8th, 2021

Think of all the injustices in the world that have gone and are going on without repercussions. It's insanity, and trying to make sense of insanity is in itself, insane.

I saw this post on FB. No idea if it's authentic but it surely is a wise way to live.

My grandmother once gave me a tip:
In difficult times, move forward in small steps.
Do what you have to do, but little by little.
Don’t think about the future
or what may happen tomorrow.
Wash the dishes.
Remove the dust.
Write a letter.
Make a soup.
You see?
Advance step by step.
Take a step and stop.
Rest a little.
Praise yourself.
Take another step.
And then another.
You won’t notice, but your steps will grow more and more.
And the time will come when you can think about the future without crying.
Author: Elena Mikhalkova

✈ Flying lessons! WooHOO!

Flying lessons! WHo Hoo!

Me-BS-65 in May<BR />HIM-SAFWH-68<BR />I just wanted a normal life.<BR />Normal trauma would have been appreciated.

posts: 8432   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2009   ·   location: In my head
id 8697554
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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 1:37 AM on Tuesday, November 9th, 2021

I DO feel like the people who have wronged me need to have some sort of "justice "

This is a wholly normal thing to feel. Especially after infidelity. And I was there too, believe me.

But Gotta, all this energy you are putting into your inlaws, and this teacher, and your stbxwh, and his ow, and and and.... ALLLLLLL that mental and emotional energy should be going right into YOU. You deserve it - all those other asshats don't. And by focusing on them so obsessively, you are robbing yourself of that mental and emotional effort when you're the one who needs it the most right now!

Find your passions and pursue them. Find out what you want the rest of your life to look like and how to get there. Get divorced so you can actually start your new life. Love on your babies and teach them how to be healthy whole people. And please trust that karma WILL get to all those other folks eventually, even with no help from you.

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3202   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8697632
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 Gottagetthrough (original poster member #27325) posted at 4:55 PM on Tuesday, November 9th, 2021

Decided not to call on SIL. IF ONLY BECAUSE… i think she hates having to work! She is jealous of her sister who lives in NYC in a multimillion dollar condo, buys what she wants, etc. i have heard her say, "They are making me get a job " albeit 20 years ago.

The thought of her being a teacher makes me laugh!! I have taught… it is all encompassing and takes up your nights, weekends, omg…. She is so lazy she will be miserable. laugh


Two- instead of being snotty and calling on sil, i solidified my first flying lesson. Its to see if I have what it takes for flight school to get my private pilot’s license. WooHoo!

I also signed baby bear up for a toddler class. I have been hesitant to do this because of Covid, but did a free trial and will see how that goes.

Now to pick a language course to start!!!

Have a happy tuesday y’all! grin

posts: 3638   ·   registered: Jan. 22nd, 2010
id 8697729
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