This was a main reason I divorced my WS. He, too, is a serial cheater, and I wanted to see if he got help (and could be helped) because he wanted it for himself, not because he wanted the marriage to continue. He didn’t follow thru.
I also used Sandra Bullock as my guide. If you remember, she had no contact with him when she found out. In my opinion, this is the way to seriously get the attention of an addict (or serial cheater), to where they MIGHT get help, but also to begin your own healing.
FWIW, my boss at work is a serial cheater. It truly opened my eyes to the extent of how a person can operate in a different realm than a normal person. He was so distraught and lonely when his wife D him, that he wanted to kill himself. But, when he got remarried, he was all about cheating again. It’s almost like he needed a person to be there, and that’s when he was confident enough to cheat.
Be glad your WS has someone to keep him away from you. (Mine did, too). Some people on this site have a WS who relentlessly tries to come back and it’s just awful in them. Get a counselor (I went to the Domestic Violence Center, bc emotional abuse is DV) where I was believed when I told them the crazy I was experiencing.
I told my WS that he had more issues than I was qualified to help him with, and to get help.
I also got help, got my kids help and we made it thru.
Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55