Newest Member: Serenity7

Reconciliation :
Bad Day

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 Ladybugmaam (original poster Member #69881) posted at 10:35 PM on Friday, September 10th, 2021

Nothing new. Just recovery not being linear, blah blah blah. Had a great month. Ran into OW....again....today. Would REALLY like this to be less of a thing and to remember that I "won". I sort of did. We're much, much better. Trying. Though, feeling sometimes that the trying is SO hard. 2 years, 4 months out from DDay. I know it will be ok.....today it's just hard.

EA DD 11/2018
PA DD 2/25/19
One teen son

posts: 169   ·   registered: Feb. 26th, 2019
id 8688002
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stubbornft ( Member #49614) posted at 11:02 PM on Friday, September 10th, 2021

Because this is the R forum I can't use the very foul language I want. So how about FORGET her. Sorry you have to see her at all, ever. That sucks. BUT - she has to see you. She was disposable and was disposed of.

Me: BS 40
Him: WS 51
He cheated with massage parlor sex workers
Dday 01/19/2021

posts: 801   ·   registered: Sep. 14th, 2015   ·   location: TX
id 8688003
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 Ladybugmaam (original poster Member #69881) posted at 11:29 PM on Friday, September 10th, 2021

I guess it is just mourning the naive version of what I thought I had. She WAS ultimately disposed of by FWH and her husband. And, she's broken and hurts people like broken people do. I could stay home, stop the things I love....but the town is small enough that I'd run into her anyway. Anyone out there double betrayed with friends/family and see far too much of them? I usually politely ignore, but that shit is hard.
FWH doesn't run into her....or nearly as often. It is just that when I do, I'm full boar....WTH am I doing here. It takes me back to DDay. And, I'm in a place where I can't/don't wanna/you can't make me/all people are assholes....etc. Most times FWH is able to engage in a good way. Dude, sometimes he gets tired. I know I do. Crappy thing about infidelity is that, once it happens....particularly in a "happy" marriage....it taints you for anything else. I'm afraid that I'll never be happy some days. And then again...he's making me dinner. So, I "should" feel fine.

[This message edited by Ladybugmaam at 11:35 PM, Friday, September 10th]

EA DD 11/2018
PA DD 2/25/19
One teen son

posts: 169   ·   registered: Feb. 26th, 2019
id 8688006
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Tanner ( Member #72235) posted at 3:38 AM on Saturday, September 11th, 2021

I could stay home, stop the things I love....

No!!! Infidelity has already taken too much. Don’t let her have that power. She is nothing, your H is making you dinner!! Make new memories and enjoy these good times. It still hurts I get it.

I posted recently on the 2 year antiversary that my WW left a bar with a stranger and had a ONS, turned PA. I hate the bar and the town. I hear the name of the town and it makes me sick. I said, and I’m serious, we are going there next year so I can show her what it’s like to leave the bar with a real man. I need to own that place and the trigger. It won’t be easy but no way I let him have that over me.

Dday Sept 7 2019 working toward R
BH 54
WW 47
M 30 years, 4 kids 2 grown, twin boys 12 yo 2 grandkids

One day you will tell your story how you overcame what you are going through now, and it will become part of someone else’s survival guide.

posts: 715   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8688023
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Sofarsogood ( Member #71991) posted at 3:55 AM on Saturday, September 11th, 2021

Ok, have followed your story from the beginning. I hope your fwh is doing all he can to reassure you that he is all in on your reconciliation. It is so hard to have to contend with the ap when she is still around. Stay strong and have faith in yourself. Hopefully b things will get better.

posts: 272   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8688026
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 Ladybugmaam (original poster Member #69881) posted at 2:21 PM on Saturday, September 11th, 2021

Sofarsogood.....
I recognize that being the BS taints your brain in a strong "not enough" way. He is..... He's putting up with a lot from me and keeps coming back. I'm not sorry about that. Just tired.

EA DD 11/2018
PA DD 2/25/19
One teen son

posts: 169   ·   registered: Feb. 26th, 2019
id 8688057
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Sofarsogood ( Member #71991) posted at 4:05 PM on Tuesday, September 14th, 2021

I hear you

LBM. Oh the joy of living in a small area. It sounds like you're doing the best you can with grace and dignity. I know you're tired, but just know that you have people on this site to support you when you need it.

posts: 272   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8688435
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