I've been separated for 4 years, dated a bit, and had one relationship. I'm now completely single, thank goodness, because I too have a major court date in a couple of weeks. I am completely focused on that, and my children, and work. It's heavy stuff, and there is no way in hell I could balance a relationship on top of all that.
I realize you are a few months into your relationship, but I agree, I think you have some unresolved issues/feelings with your marriage, and perhaps it's best not to be dating right now. Couple that with your upcoming court date...it's a lot.
Any chance you may be comfortable taking a break from this woman for a bit? What does the thought of that feel like? If you feel relief, that might be your gut telling you something.
I dated someone earlier this year for about three and a half months. When we broke up, I was sad for about a day and a half. By day three I was so relieved I felt like I was getting more oxygen when I breathed. I suspect, because of that, it's going to be a long time before I even want to date again. And that's okay. We are all whole people without partners, including you, BobPar.
I hope your court date goes well and things are resolved to your satisfaction. Almost there!