Newest Member: faithfulMan911

New Beginnings :
These Damn Nightmares

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 GiveTimeTime (original poster Member #45868) posted at 6:44 PM on Wednesday, September 1st, 2021

My ex-husband was very involved with prostitutes. D-Day was in 2014. Divorce was done in 2015.

Here I am, years later, and these nightmares about it all are still ruining me.

I have been ZERO contact with him for 6 years. I've been in a few relationships, but none that made me feel anything like the way I felt about my husband for the 19 years prior to discovery. I have ZERO ZERO desire to ever see/hear from my ex again.

But these damn dreams. Weekly. Sometimes more often. Always the same thing. He's with a whore. He's laughing at me. He's telling me he never loved me. I'm punching him. I'm killing whores. Ugh.

I realize that this is my mind trying to unravel things, or make sense of things. He never came clean about much, but I knew enough to know I had to divorce him. I no longer care about knowing any further details.

So... HOW TO MAKE THESE DREAMS STOP?? They often put me in a sour mood for hours after waking up.

Me: 50 Him: 59
Married 14 years, together 19.
D-day: 3/6/14
Me; loving, devoted, faithful wife
Him: lying, cheating, wh0re fu€king john
6/4/15 - Divorced. Done. I wasn't kidding, asshole.

posts: 454   ·   registered: Dec. 6th, 2014   ·   location: Las Vegas
id 8686644
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crazyblindsided ( Member #35215) posted at 10:38 PM on Wednesday, September 1st, 2021

I have to take edibles, I no longer have the nightmares.

fBS/fWS (me):48 Mad-hattered after DD1
XWS:50 Serial Cheater, NPD tendencies
Together 24 years, Married 19
DD(18) DS(15)
DD1 (2008) COW, DD2 (2012) MOW, False R (2014) Same MOW. DD3 (2019) Webcam girl

posts: 8031   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 8686683
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BentandBroken ( Member #72519) posted at 3:51 PM on Thursday, September 2nd, 2021

I've also started having nightmares again. Every. Single. Night.

Mine are likely due to an upcoming wedding we will both attend, and he will be bringing one of the APs.

You are correct when you mentioned your mind is trying to process and heal. Your subconscious is reminding you of the awful person he is. Question...is there anyone new in your life that your brain may be sending up red flags about? Just a thought. It might help to get to the bottom of why these dreams are popping up. It might be a response to something you're unconsciously perceiving as unsafe.

20+ year relationshipNever officially marriedDday November 20194 wonderful grown childrenWH multiple APs, currently involved with married COWKicked him out on Dday and that was that

posts: 314   ·   registered: Jan. 9th, 2020   ·   location: Michigan
id 8686784
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 GiveTimeTime (original poster Member #45868) posted at 6:05 PM on Friday, September 3rd, 2021

Bent - That was a really thoughtful reply. I’ll give all that some thought. Thanks for responding.

Me: 50 Him: 59
Married 14 years, together 19.
D-day: 3/6/14
Me; loving, devoted, faithful wife
Him: lying, cheating, wh0re fu€king john
6/4/15 - Divorced. Done. I wasn't kidding, asshole.

posts: 454   ·   registered: Dec. 6th, 2014   ·   location: Las Vegas
id 8687048
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traicionada ( Member #10310) posted at 7:43 PM on Friday, September 3rd, 2021

Would you consider IC? IC may help you deal with some of the unresolved trauma.

Real love is a CHOICE, NOT a feeling...

posts: 4018   ·   registered: Apr. 5th, 2006   ·   location: Dallas, Texas
id 8687065
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