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General :
Did you tell anyone else in the betrayeds life for support??

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 marvelousdarling (original poster Member #74341) posted at 9:41 PM on Tuesday, July 20th, 2021

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[This message edited by marvelousdarling at 11:22 AM, July 23rd (Friday)]

posts: 57   ·   registered: Apr. 29th, 2020
id 8677096
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EllieKMAS ( Member #68900) posted at 9:46 PM on Tuesday, July 20th, 2021

I've been tempted to reach out to his brother and/or dad. I know they'd both be reasonable and want to help. I'm curious if anyone has done similar?

You've notified him (OBS) and that is where your obligation ends imho. It's up to him if he wants to tell his family or not, and I think it would be crossing a line for you to share his truth with people in his life. It's up to him what and how much he wants to share and getting that support is on him, not you.

Just my 0.02.

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3138   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8677100
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 marvelousdarling (original poster Member #74341) posted at 9:58 PM on Tuesday, July 20th, 2021

You've notified him (OBS) and that is where your obligation ends imho. It's up to him if he wants to tell his family or not, and I think it would be crossing a line for you to share his truth with people in his life. It's up to him what and how much he wants to share and getting that support is on him, not you.

Just my 0.02.

Yeah, that's been my gut reaction, too... I think I just need to let myself be upset for him for a little bit, too, and let Karma cover what she needs to cover.

posts: 57   ·   registered: Apr. 29th, 2020
id 8677105
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steadychevy ( Member #42608) posted at 1:32 PM on Wednesday, July 21st, 2021

I feel the same as the previous two posters. You shouldn't do it. It is up to him to reach out. You doing so would be stepping over bounds and he might see it as yet another betrayal.

You could suggest to him to seek help and support. Inform him about BAN (Beyond Affairs Network) which has local small support groups. Or seek help through an IC (Individual Counsellor). Or encourage him to talk with his own support group - his brother and/or dad.

I'm so sorry that both of you have been subjected to this. Your WH and his fiancé are both POS.

[This message edited by steadychevy at 3:00 PM, July 21st (Wednesday)]

BH(me)70; XWW 64; M 42 yrs
DDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14
LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW
"dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, lies
Separated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020

posts: 4658   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 8677224
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PSTI ( Member #53103) posted at 7:22 PM on Wednesday, July 21st, 2021

I agree would absolutely be a serious violation to share someone else's story with their people, without their permission.

Me: BW, my xH left me & DS after a 14 year marriage for the AP in 2014.

Happily remarried and in an open/polyamorous relationship. DH (married 3 years) & DBF (dating 2 years). Cohabitating happily all together!! <3

posts: 698   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2016
id 8677291
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