Newest Member: girlangry89

Just Found Out :
2months since DD

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LostInHisFog ( Member #78503) posted at 4:55 AM on Tuesday, July 20th, 2021

This is all progress, onwards and upwards!!

100% screw them! I hope she enjoyed her birthday. Like you I've been finding some of my WH re-telling/shift blaming have found some targets, mostly his family, resulting in hostile in-laws too. You did the best thing, detach and ignore, it's all we can do. Grey Rock is great in those confrontations but you handled it perfectly by ignoring and continuing having fun.

Are you back to reading? "Cheating in a Nutshell. What Infidelity Does to The Victim" is a good empowering read, found it very validating.

((hug))

I edit because I'm fluent in typo & autocorrect hates me.

posts: 151   ·   registered: Mar. 14th, 2021
id 8676929
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 lifestoshort (original poster Member #18442) posted at 4:22 AM on Wednesday, July 21st, 2021

Im not reading anything at all right on. I had the covert book which was excellent and then got the chump book which I am not fond of. just ok. dry.

were on vacay now out of town again. best medicine to keep staying away lol. I do have a date this weekend too.

Im 45. 1st H I left in 2001 after 3 kids. narcassist.
2nd exH had MANY affairs.FALSE R. cheats again. D 5/09. 2 kids. I got 100% custody. ex hasnt seen kids in 5 yrs.
2014 to now: dated highschool sweetheart. He cheated w 23 yr old. she stayed

posts: 1049   ·   registered: Mar. 2nd, 2008
id 8677175
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 lifestoshort (original poster Member #18442) posted at 9:36 PM on Thursday, July 29th, 2021

thankful for everyone here and in other groups. I didnt think I would make it or ever be intimate with another. wrong. I was gifted someone organically who pursued me and it went really well and still is. was the exact medicine I needed to see the door open, to know there are men who I can trust and be better.

thank gosh he came when he did cause I was really stuck, scared and just wanted to die. My entire view has changed and opened my eyes and healed most of my heart. feeling happy today and steady for a several weeks now :)

Im 45. 1st H I left in 2001 after 3 kids. narcassist.
2nd exH had MANY affairs.FALSE R. cheats again. D 5/09. 2 kids. I got 100% custody. ex hasnt seen kids in 5 yrs.
2014 to now: dated highschool sweetheart. He cheated w 23 yr old. she stayed

posts: 1049   ·   registered: Mar. 2nd, 2008
id 8679571
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This0is0Fine ( Member #72277) posted at 10:11 PM on Thursday, July 29th, 2021

thankful for everyone here and in other groups. I didnt think I would make it or ever be intimate with another. wrong. I was gifted someone organically who pursued me and it went really well and still is. was the exact medicine I needed to see the door open, to know there are men who I can trust and be better.

thank gosh he came when he did cause I was really stuck, scared and just wanted to die. My entire view has changed and opened my eyes and healed most of my heart. feeling happy today and steady for a several weeks now :)

Please know I just want what is best for you.

You are high on new relationship drugs your body is creating.

You should try to find happiness or at least equilibrium by yourself for a bit. At least pump the brakes on thinking this guy is a savior.

Love is not a measure of capacity for pain you are willing to endure for your partner.

posts: 1329   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2019
id 8679584
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redwing6 ( Member #72593) posted at 8:49 AM on Saturday, July 31st, 2021

LTS,

I too met someone amazing, wonderful, simply fantastic soon after the disasterous end of my 2nd marriage. Just take 1 day at a time (as someone here who is far wiser than I often says). One day, you'll find you just don't care what your WX does, says, is...that's the place you want to be. Sending hugs...

BH 58,
WW #2 D'd after 6month EA who scammed her out of our life savings
WW #1 51 since remaired twice continues to cheat even today
WW #2 Refuses to admit she wrecked our marriage
DD adult 32
DSD adult 33
DSS adult 30

posts: 248   ·   registered: Jan. 17th, 2020   ·   location: Savannah, GA
id 8680081
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CoderMom ( Member #66033) posted at 5:10 AM on Sunday, August 1st, 2021

Time for yourself to heal and get away and focus on something else maybe? To find yourself again away from all the turmoil... Definitely some heartbreaking situations you have walked through. I empathize with you. I was married twice and divorced twice due to each cheating on me horribly. Completely get it. But I never had the chance to take a vacation while going through all the trauma and upheaval and that sure would have been a blessing.

posts: 223   ·   registered: Aug. 31st, 2018
id 8680293
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 lifestoshort (original poster Member #18442) posted at 12:27 AM on Monday, August 2nd, 2021

yeah looking back the 7 yrs, I was alone. I did almost everything alone and fixed the house by myself and yard tending, groceries, etc. we slept together and met up, went out to eat but mostly, I waited on him to show up and be available from work or school. so I was alone. I chose that, because I wanted to be with him and waited but in reality I was a single mom with a guy who came over from time to time and only traveled with me ONCE. I travel 8 times a yr to the beach mainly, for work. he never goes. so did that all alone too. and I went to counseling those years every month, sometimes weekly.

Im done being alone. I feel good. I definitely still have triggers cause he is in the same city and his work near my house. last week I had to drive my kids to the pool several times and I just sat at the light by his work singing in my care waiting for the green... vs looking into the place. still make my heart thump. I still get sick remembering stuff but overall I can really see what I accepted and what he gave was so little so dealing w the triggers now is getting better.

I leave again to work soon so Im keeping very busy and I also get to see this guy I fancy soon. again, even if he only lasts a short bit, Im thrilled. Ive already overcame a huge obstacle. Trusting. and 2, being intimate with someone else. and guess what, the sex was GREAT! like really really spontaneously fun.

Im 45. 1st H I left in 2001 after 3 kids. narcassist.
2nd exH had MANY affairs.FALSE R. cheats again. D 5/09. 2 kids. I got 100% custody. ex hasnt seen kids in 5 yrs.
2014 to now: dated highschool sweetheart. He cheated w 23 yr old. she stayed

posts: 1049   ·   registered: Mar. 2nd, 2008
id 8680436
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