This Sunday, I'm working a shift and it's almost closing time, when my manager hands me the phone says it's my friend Sarah- I answer the phone, they ask me if I'm "X wife" yes "ask him who he got pregnant. Me: X?. them" YUP ask him who he got pregnant mhm". Click I was shaken but thought who hates me or him this much to play such a cruel prank? Didn't have too much time left of work, called him like always, normal conversation, once I got home, I said what happened, I'm like wtf isn't that funny? He was acting a little weird but kinda normal, I really did not believe for a second this was true. Background- We've been together since 17/18 now 25/26, one time 3-4 years in he had been completely caught in a web of lies about a 10 yr older female friend, long story short he had been lying about her being in his friend group and when his friend group moved away he had started hanging with her alone. I met up with her and she was pissed at him for lying to me too, nothing ever happened between them but it felt like emotional cheating, she had said she used to have a male best friend and was starting to feel that again with X, which I didn't like because in my opinion I'm the only woman that should be his best friend. That was the only time we almost broke up, I slowly regained trust, had all his passwords, there were boundaries, if I felt uncomfortable about someone he would block/ stop doing whatever. He's been the absolute perfect partner for all this time, and I originally started dating him because he treated me so well and he was the 'nice guy', when I had been treated like dirt by others. Always would send me paragraph long texts about how amazing and happy he was, always posting me and pumping me up. We balance each other out so well, and compliment each other, I thought I had the perfect relationship. We bought a house at 21/22 ( I saved all the down payment but he worked and I didn't for one year while I was in school) lived together for 4 years with no issues, have a dog together, took the house from shambles to beautiful, supported each other through school and life, lifted one another up. I always thought I was never worried about an affair with him because after our 1st year together where we had sex every single day, my sex drive remained high where his was a lot lower, he has always pulled out. Every. Single. Time. In. 9. Years. (another reason I was so unworried about this call). I questioned him a little more, he broke down, I was in complete shock- I did not believe it, I did not respond emotionally, just asked questions, he continues to break down, I held him and supported him. He said he just wanted our normal life to go on as long as it could because he knew I would leave him. I have always been really repulsed by cheating and never understood it, and am very vocal about it. I still have only had this news 5 days now, and have been on a rollercoaster of emotion, and I ALWAYS give advice for my girlfriends to do better, find someone else, never put up with shit etc,. So why now am I considering staying with him? I love him so much it's so fucking hard, I have all different thoughts in my head. He has told me everything is mine and he'll pack his shit and leave, but I've still let him sleep in the bed next to me. I feel like I'm not ready to make any decisions right now. But he showed me her on one of my food blog instagrams since apparently we are both blocked on everything else, she is mentally unstable, has Od'd several times, has a breathalyzer to start her car, going through a divorce 8 years older then him. He met her because he works for USPS and orginally told me when they met she was a fucking idiot - but then later said she was okay. She's everything he hates and that bothers him, I don't even see him being able to tolerate her in a group setting. (We are both never drink/ never smoke too- he's adamant about being straight edge). I'm so confused this is not him, at all, I know he must have deeper issues but he told me he hates her and wants nothing to do with her ever, she harassed him the following day at work and we got a no trespassing order for our home (she's been in my home in my bed which is another slap in the face), and harassment whatever I can't even remember but it's documented by police. She showed up at our house when police were there, thank God, and was almost on the verge of being arrested, we both got restraining orders, it has been quiet since that incident. I never for one second suspected anything. I have had gut instincts in the past and found little back n norths but nothing flirty- just made me feel uncomfortable and he stopped. Total blindside. I had our whole life planned, I wanted everything with him, I wanted to grow older together, I thought we were perfect. We got married in Oct 2020, no ceremony but just to make it official since it felt like we already were- turns out 4 days after was the first time they did it. He keeps saying it was the porn fantasy- which is also weird because he NEVER even has watched porn since first dating!!! Originally said he tried to break it off after the first two times, then when things didn't add up he tried to break it off (for real) around my birthday in January but she threatened telling me, he kept saying the threats, the threats, when retelling everything- I asked how could he be so stupid to not use a condom - the one thing he could have done to protect me- he said "she wouldn't let him" which is such BS. Also for the last several months he's been having extremely high blood pressure, no appetite, weight loss, been depressed. These were all signs I missed- I thought he was just generally anxious/ feeling depressed. I always encouraged him get therapy, get help, which he was about to do a week before I got the news. He says he's never even kissed her, it was easy/not any 'work' involved etc. Meanwhile our sex life has always been great, I give oral, I talk dirty, I role play, I'm adventurous etc, he always insist I orgasm, and feels bad if I don't. I've toned down on asking over the years because he's made me feel like I'm asking for it too much- but we still have been any time from 3-5x a week. I need therapy, he needs therapy, I still want to go to couple therapy if the very least just for answers. When I'm with him I feel like I love this person, but am I willing to sacrifice myself for this? When I'm alone or talking to my one friend that knows I'm so much more rational of I can't do this to myself. He seems so wracked with guilt for running my life and remorseful and says he fucked everything up, she's 3-4 months along? Was "supposed to" have an abortion but then didn't. He does not want anything to do with her or the child and is relieved it's over and he's done with her. I have no idea what to do. Please help me, give me all your advice and opinions.