Just over a week ago, I contacted my father and my sister to tell them all about my affairs and confess to them how I have acted through my entire marriage and before. This was done for a few reasons.
1) It has been recommened on here and in other literature that we read that doing this can be beneficial to the healing process and in letting family know it can take some of the stress away from both of us.
2) While I am in IC, I have no one I can talk to other than BS. While I can open up to her, we are both suffering from the same pain caused by me. I feel stupid going to her to sound off when her pain is so much greater than mind AND I'm the cause.
3) I just felt, deep down that I needed to. I needed to let them know who I am.
Well, I told my father first and he minimised everything. Some of my wayward behaviour happened before we got married, so that was dismissed without further thought. The online activity was kind of ignored and the EA....Well, I had given up listening at this point. He the proceeded to tell me that he did not particularly like my wife and that before my grandmother died she told him that she hopes we never marry. I was devastated. My BS was listening to the call to. We both burst into tears and held one another after I had hung up. I feel sick even now thinking that he would say such a thing.
Later in the evening I contacted my sister. I broke down before I could even begin talking. I scared the life out of her as she had no idea what was going on. When I composed myself and managed to get some form of confession out she was stunned. She called be a bloody idiot and then next thing was to offer her full support to my BS saying that if there was anything they could do to help her then she only has to ask. She told me that she loves us both and that she will do everything she can to help in any reconciliation (she did admit that she thought there was not much she could do other that say good luck and stick with it). I contacted her again a few days later and told her the full story slightly more calmly. Again she offered her support to us both, passed on a message from her husband (that I was a twat and if BS needed anything then please contact him).
I can't believe the contrast in family members.
The difficulty now is what we do when Covid is over and people want to get together. My BS is embarrassed by everything and feels she cannot face my sister at the moment. She, quite rightly, wants nothing to do with my father again, but loves my mother and will miss her terribly.
I am talking to my sister at least once a week and we are now closer than we have been for years. I hope that in time we will all be able to meet again.