Our family is the picture perfect family. We are both experienced professionals with good careers and are both good looking. So i'd like to resolve this. Though, unsure how to do it in a no-combative way to keep the marriage intact. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I think she got in over her head and now afraid to admit and talk to me about it.
Listen if she's cheating, it's not just "a phase", it's a decision she willingly made, it takes thousands of lies to keep an A going, if that's the case your family is very far from being "perfect".
What you posted is full of giant red flags, like others mentioned, cheaters typically only admit to what you can prove, there are only 2 paths out of infidelity: D and R, for D you don't need her permission, you just file and have her served, for R, that takes two and IMHO much more effort in the long run. To get solid and undeniable proof she's cheating you may need to hire a PI, they typically simply follow her and get footage in a matter of days, you may also get a VAR (Voice Activated Recorder) and place it in her car under her seat with some velcro, you can pick one at Walmart/Best Buy or order one online, the most recommended one is a Sony for about 50 bucks (play with it and learn how to use it, mute an sounds and place black tape over any lights).
The VAR is most likely not admissible in court, this is just to confirm the betrayal, some may also place a GPS in her car if you want to do the investigation yourself or make the PI job easier, cheaters almost always communicate when they're driving to/from work, they think their vehicle is a safe place, if she's cheating (I think she is) you should have your answer in a matter of days.
Once you verify the A and she admits to it, know that "Rugsweeping" or doing the "Pick Me Dance" NEVER WORKS, those who take swift and decisive action typically get the best results out of infidelity (D or R), here's a few of the basics that have stood the test of time:
1) EXPOSE the A with ALL family and close friends and with OBS WITHOUT WARNING (very important), NOTHING kills an A faster than FULL EXPOSURE, exposure typically kills the "beautiful, exciting and romantic" aspects of the A and replaces them with pure shame and embarrassment, the more she hates the A, the more she will hate POSOM and the less likely she will be to cheat again in the future. Once you inform OBS (Other Betrayed Spouse), POSOM will likely drop your WW like a bad habit and throw her under the bus in an effort to save his own M, this is like a splash of iced water on a cheaters head, they suddenly realize they were nothing but a convenient piece of ass.
2) She needs to show you her phone on the spot (don't give her time to erase anything), you can run deleted text recovery software like "Dr Fone", she needs to offer FULL on demand access to her phone and ALL her electronic devices and passwords FOREVER, no questions asked.
3) She needs to send POSOM and NC FOREVER message in front of you (no sweet goodbyes), he's her boss so she needs to report him to HR, again without warning, he will likely lose his job, there's a chance she could lose her as well (less likely), it's called consequences for her huge betrayal. If her job is more important to her than her M, then you simply don't have one, it's a sham.
3) Demand she gets tested for STDs (you should too), some STDs can be transmitted by saliva (kissing), however if you believe she just fell asleep in his house after a night of partying and drinks I have a bridge to sell you.
4) Consult a D attorney to know your legal options, while you're at it, ask about an enforceable post-nup in your favor in case she cheats again in the future, she would need to sign it.
5) Demand she goes to IC to find out her "whys", cheating is NOT "a mistake", a mistake is when you take a wrong turn while driving, cheating typically takes THOUSANDS lies, it's a choice.
6) Demand she gives you a complete written timeline of the A, subject to a polygraph, also this may not be her first rodeo.
If she refuses to do any of the above then simply file for D and have her served, D takes a long time and can be stopped before it's final if she comes around and commits to doing the heavy lifting to restore the M, it typically takes 2-5 years to recover from infidelity.
Keep posting frequently, this is a crucial time and the collective wisdom of SI can help you go through this difficult situation, every case is different but cheaters typically follow a similar script, we've literally "seen" it play out THOUSANDS of times here on SI and other forums, just look at your member number.