Newest Member: faithfulMan911

Just Found Out :
Sleepless

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Gdthissucks (original poster New Member #75380) posted at 11:28 PM on Wednesday, September 9th, 2020

Part of me is starting to focus on gaining access to all of the things I've learned of to their full extent and anything else I haven't found out about yet and compiling it all onto her FB and locking it up behind my own pw.

Just thinking about this makes me feel a little better rn but I honestly don't think the effort and the fallout would be worth it.

Going to get tested tomorrow afternoon. One of the guys in my DnD group has been talking with me in discord off and on today and that has helped quite a bit. I'm still shocked at the amount of support, I can't thank you all enough!

posts: 7   ·   registered: Sep. 9th, 2020
id 8585528
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beenthereinco ( Member #56409) posted at 11:33 PM on Wednesday, September 9th, 2020

And no, I had never seen the photos before OP1 sent them to me.

Well there you go. As I said you really don't need to tie yourself up in evaluation to see what has been going on but what would be the reason for the existence of these photos if not to send to the OM? They weren't just on her phone to be "hacked".

She didn't send them to you. I don't think she took them for her own enjoyment. She sent them to the OM just like he said.

posts: 1429   ·   registered: Dec. 13th, 2016
id 8585530
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beenthereinco ( Member #56409) posted at 11:34 PM on Wednesday, September 9th, 2020

Ohh and BTW if he did all of this to try to break you up so he could win her. Then I'd tell him congratulations. You win. Come pick her up. She'll be on the porch with all her stuff.

posts: 1429   ·   registered: Dec. 13th, 2016
id 8585531
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Buster123 ( Member #65551) posted at 2:38 AM on Thursday, September 10th, 2020

The "hacked phone/computer" is one of those excuses cheaters use every once in a while, but by 2 different OMs, not so much, what are the odds ? deep down you KNOW she's lying, no kids, doesn't contribute financially, serial cheater, RUN !!!

posts: 2408   ·   registered: Jul. 22nd, 2018
id 8585608
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RocketRaccoon ( Member #54620) posted at 4:26 AM on Thursday, September 10th, 2020

GTS,

Just do a search on DARVO.

This is what your WW is doing to you. Classic and to the latter.

You cannot cure stupid

posts: 888   ·   registered: Aug. 12th, 2016   ·   location: South East Asia
id 8585641
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GoldenR ( Member #54778) posted at 4:47 AM on Thursday, September 10th, 2020

Give her the forgiveness she deserves?

Brother, with her attitude right now all she's deserving of is divorce.

posts: 2642   ·   registered: Aug. 22nd, 2016   ·   location: South Texas
id 8585643
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The1stWife ( Member #58832) posted at 4:56 AM on Thursday, September 10th, 2020

I hope you realize she’s acting like a typical cheater by continuing to lie. She also has spent considerable effort to keep these affairs going.

Tell her you need to have her get a job. Time to cheat? Time to work then. Don’t let her quit. No matter what she says.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 10504   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8585646
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Mene ( Member #64377) posted at 6:06 AM on Thursday, September 10th, 2020

You don’t have any children together.

You’re still young.

In all these situations I always advise BS to do a Forrest Gump.

RUN!

Divorce and move on.

Life wasn’t meant to be fair...

posts: 826   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2018   ·   location: Cyberland
id 8585670
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pureheartkit ( Member #62345) posted at 6:36 AM on Thursday, September 10th, 2020

You know what? There are some great people here. Stay with us a while. You need some spirit building.

She needs to wake up, be honest and look at why she's been ungrateful and selfish. It's a tall order and most likely she lies or dances around making excuses. She should quit the gaming. If she can't do it without being tempted to flirt she should stop and start knitting instead. Getting attention that way is not a healthy use of her time. You deserve better.

You need to know it down deep. You deserve better. I had to learn the same thing. Otherwise they keep using and abusing. Maybe she thinks you'll stay no matter what. That's not love.

You're a good person. You deserve a shot at a good life. She needs to become more than an expert at flirting and lying about it. She's cheating herself of a meaningful life. This is not a relationship to grow both of you. Don't be sorry for her, she chose to act out. She's left the relationship and broke the trust.

Don't give her the easy way now. She has to own her choices in order to grow.

You work on your goals, your health. What do you want your life to be? It could be anything you want. Find out and start on your road to happiness.

It's confusing at first but will become clearer.

If she keeps with the lies, she's made her choice.

Thank you everyone for your wisdom and healing.

posts: 2247   ·   registered: Jan. 19th, 2018
id 8585676
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Buffer ( Member #71664) posted at 8:17 AM on Thursday, September 10th, 2020

So, some one hacked her phone and got access to nude photos of her. Set up a fake account and was able to send false messages?

Nah, sorry too much the world is against me.

Disengage but don’t leave the home cause you don’t believe the crap she is saying. Wait until you have a full understanding from a lawyer first. You haven’t been married that long and there are no children. If this is her second AP. Time to have her served and move on.

As from now; exercise the stress out, eat healthy and drink water.

One day at a time.

Buffer

posts: 1191   ·   registered: Sep. 24th, 2019   ·   location: Australia
id 8585685
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HarryD ( New Member #72423) posted at 10:16 PM on Thursday, September 10th, 2020

There is fun and games. Then there the truth Playing with game boy was fun. But do you really think your Gf is going to give up. You support her not working to be with gameboy who most likely living with his mother.

Don’t think she wants to get a job to support gameboy

posts: 36   ·   registered: Dec. 30th, 2019   ·   location: NY
id 8586065
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OrdinaryDude ( Member #55676) posted at 4:09 AM on Friday, September 11th, 2020

Brother, let me give you a bit of my experience.

I forgave my cheating spouse early in our M too, and all it got me was more of the same. Here I am 30 years on still dealing with her bullshit...DON’T BE LIKE ME!

Get out now while you still have the best part of your life ahead of you. You deserve so much more and so much better!

Me - BH 50+
Her - WW 50+
Married 30+ years, 2 adult kids
(1989) PA Rug-Swept
(2002) EA Rug-Swept
(2016) EA *Getting Out Of Infidelity*

**Working at Reconciling**

posts: 3366   ·   registered: Oct. 19th, 2016   ·   location: The Big Easy
id 8586163
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 Gdthissucks (original poster New Member #75380) posted at 4:59 AM on Friday, September 11th, 2020

Thank you everyone for your support.

What I've done so far:

Spoke with a lady at the attorneys office I'll be sitting down with him on Monday. From the outset with all the information I had she said it sounds that it can be a clean split no worry on alimony I hope that isn't a pipe dream.

STD test, negative I'm clean!!!

Within the home. She is literally walking around like the other day didn't happen. I have tried engaging lightly and have gotten nowhere. I have not left the home obviously will be setting up arrangements with a friend once we have her served. Until then I am doing my daily routine, feel much better and just playing the hand i've been dealt.

posts: 7   ·   registered: Sep. 9th, 2020
id 8586174
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 Gdthissucks (original poster New Member #75380) posted at 1:00 AM on Saturday, September 12th, 2020

What advice would anyone give in regards to expending the energy and effort to retrieve the rest of everything I haven't found and exposing her to her family and friends?

posts: 7   ·   registered: Sep. 9th, 2020
id 8586619
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oldtruck ( Member #62540) posted at 1:57 AM on Saturday, September 12th, 2020

not against getting more info for it is normal to want to know

everything.

though do you have enough proof to know that she cheated then

you do not need more info to divorce her.

do you need enough proof that WW cannot deny that she

cheated?

then go for more proof.

posts: 1383   ·   registered: Feb. 2nd, 2018
id 8586642
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waitedwaytoolong ( Member #51519) posted at 2:16 AM on Saturday, September 12th, 2020

What advice would anyone give in regards to expending the energy and effort to retrieve the rest of everything I haven't found and exposing her to her family and friends?

I would expend my energy on packing her bag. She cheats on you, plays games all day, mooches off you. You do t have kids. She has a medical condition which in any other case would be something you should be showing empathy for, but not for her the way she has treated you. And she has no remorse

It won’t be a high bar to find someone a thousand times better

I am the cliched husband whose wife had an affair with the electrician

Divorced

posts: 1837   ·   registered: Jan. 26th, 2016
id 8586649
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beenthereinco ( Member #56409) posted at 4:34 PM on Saturday, September 12th, 2020

You seem to know what you want and are determined to divorce. If so then looking around for additional details will just cause you pain. Your lawyer can tell you for sure but likely it will make no difference in the settlement. Convincing her parents of what happened might feel good in the moment but a few years from now they will just be people that you used to know. You won't be in each other's lives and it really won't matter one way or the other. You should tell them of course, tell them you are sure of it and then let it go.

Finding out more is just shopping for pain.

posts: 1429   ·   registered: Dec. 13th, 2016
id 8586766
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Newlifeisgreat ( Member #71308) posted at 1:02 AM on Monday, September 14th, 2020

Expose her for not other reason than to protect yourself!!

Don’t let her rewrite the history of your marriage or say that you were an abuser! Get to a store and pickup a VAR and keep it with you at ALL times!!

Betrayed SpouseShe cheated and I filed immediately upon discovering. She never even suspected that I knew until the moment she was served with reason being AdulteryDivorced 9/18Now VERY happy with new life, 0 regrets

posts: 664   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2019
id 8587176
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 Gdthissucks (original poster New Member #75380) posted at 6:48 AM on Friday, September 18th, 2020

Hello everyone and as always thank you for your support.

Update, after many sleepless nights and more heartache than I can stand to manage she finally came clean about one of the now 3 A's that I have learned about.

I have my final class next week on the 24th where she'll be served at her parents house. I will be leaving to stay with family in Montana. I do not know what the future holds for me but I will no longer allow this woman or any other like her to hold my life back.

Thank you all, once again!

posts: 7   ·   registered: Sep. 9th, 2020
id 8588882
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The1stWife ( Member #58832) posted at 8:09 AM on Friday, September 18th, 2020

I’m sorry it has come to this but believe you are doing the right thing.

She doesn’t understand marriage and never will.

So sorry for you. You can do better.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 10504   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8588889
Topic is Sleeping.
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