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I'm so sad. A new beginning that gives me a lump in my throat.

IDeserveMore posted 8/28/2020 01:54 AM

I've been divorced for 4 years. But we did nesting for 3 years which prolonged the selling of the house. After 3 years of nesting my son (younger of the 2) moved away to college and my daughter 21yo moved out and got her own place. That was in September. Then in October the dog we all had together for 13.5 years died of a brain tumor.

We were supposed to put the house we owned together on the market (in September) but my ex felt it was too much loss at once and we postponed it. We just got it on the market last month and it sold. Now the closing date is 8/31 and I can't stop crying.

When we moved in my daughter was 2 years and 3 months and I was 8 months pregnant for my son. Now she is 21yo and my son just started his sophomore year at college. I remember every birthday party, breakfast, soccer game, dance - everything in every room.

On top of everything my mom was just put into hospice.

I can't stop crying. I miss living in that house so much. I miss living with the kids. I'm having a harder time than I ever thought saying goodbye to that way of life in that wonderful house.

When people talk about a lump in the throat, now I know exactly what that is because I feel it. I'm beyond sad. I hope I never have a head injury because I never want to lose those memories.

JanaGreen posted 8/28/2020 04:47 AM

I'm so sorry IDeserveMore. That is a LOT to deal with at once. Please do something kind for yourself. Big hugs to you. ❤

JanaGreen posted 8/28/2020 04:47 AM


[This message edited by JanaGreen at 4:48 AM, August 28th (Friday)]

JanaGreen posted 8/28/2020 04:47 AM


[This message edited by JanaGreen at 4:48 AM, August 28th (Friday)]

traicionada posted 8/28/2020 10:11 AM

Change is hard but itís also proof that we are still alive and capable of making choices Give yourself time to mourn and then start focusing on the amazing possibilities of whatís next? How about making some new memories with your adult children in their new places?

IDeserveMore posted 8/28/2020 10:44 AM

Oh thanks! I know I'll eventually be ok. And I forgot something else huge. My mom was just put in to hospice. We are all reeling from that. My poor mom says she just can't believe it.

And few months ago I moved out from living with a guy I thought I might be with forever. I had to find a place in the middle of the pandemic.

This has been the year of change!

I guess on closing day I get my portion from the selling of the house and maybe that will help me to feel better. I have no idea where I'd want to buy now so I need to find the best way to hold on to the money until I decide. For now I'll just keep renting.

BearlyBreathing posted 8/29/2020 00:29 AM

My that is a lot. Do grieve- that house represents so much. So feel it, but try to recognize that you succeeded in raising adults! Sending you support-

Anna123 posted 8/29/2020 08:41 AM

Keep on crying all you want. This is a big move. I too have left a home I loved for years and cried, sitting on the floor of my empty home, even without my mom in hospice and a cheater divorce, kids in college, or fresh break-up!! You have all these known saddest events in life happening at once. I think it is good that you are crying, you need to keep releasing the sadness. You of course know you will be fine and will recover from all of these things.

Try to cherish these days with your Mom, I recently went through loosing my dear wonderful father over a long road at the end. It is very stressful and hard to see them like this, but you may be able to mix in some precious memories now as well.

Take care and I will send up a prayer for you.

Superesse posted 8/29/2020 08:42 AM

(((IDeserveMore))) Know the feeling about saying goodbye to the house. We just sold one I bought in 1994 before marrying this man. It was part of our property settlement agreement 6 years ago, so I had deeded it to him, and we hadn't lived there since the early, clueless days of our marriage. So I was pretty shocked at how many old, familiar memories started to come back to me, as though they happened yesterday, during the final months before he sold it! I was saying a last goodbye to a chunk of my life!

But once we got through that painful transition, I felt better about it, and I hope you will, too. There were both good and bad parts of our history that happened in those homes, but I didn't raise children there, like you did.

One reminder: before you decide what to do with the proceeds, get a tax pro to estimate how much you may have to pay the government in capital gains tax and set that aside.

CoderMom posted 8/31/2020 23:21 PM

That is very difficult. All that loss all at once. Wish you all the best.

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