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FirstLoveGone (original poster member #25957) posted at 1:35 AM on Monday, August 17th, 2020
It’s been a long time since I let my guard down with the asshole of an ex-husband.
He wrote me an email giving me this whole song and dance about how guilty he has been feeling about not seeing DD. So of course, I fell for it, and tried to be honest with him on what he could be doing better. His next email was then filled with utter contempt and a complete back tracking of what he originally wrote me.
I need a good 2x4 to the head! Someone please remind me that this m-er f-er will never do right by his DD and will never take responsibility for his actions. I need to remember to stick to one word answers with him.
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 4:27 AM on Monday, August 17th, 2020
Nah. You don’t need a 2x4. He reminded you that he’s a world-class asshole. You don’t need us to tell you that.
We’ve all done this — truly. So just note it, and remind yourself that NC no new hurts, and go back to living your good life and utilizing the gray rock when you do have to deal with him. (And loving on your DD.)
Go easy on yourself, you’re doing great.
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 5:20 AM on Monday, August 17th, 2020
He just solidified what you already knew. Okay, so lesson learned. You can't count on him to step up. So don't. Keep reminding yourself, if his lips are moving or fingers are texting/emailing, he's lying.
Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back on the NC/minimal communication horse!
You've got this! 
fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!
You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 11:29 AM on Monday, August 17th, 2020
You tried to do your best for your child. And that included trying to help her father be a better parent.
Unfortunately he’s not going to be the parent he should be.
You tried. He failed. Lesson learned.
Tell yourself you will only respond to his texts on necessary matters. The rest you ignore.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
99problems ( member #59373) posted at 4:07 PM on Monday, August 17th, 2020
You got this.
I know that they can trip you up. They spend inordinate amounts of time planning just how they can.
But we can pick ourselves up and keep on goin'.
And nothing they do can stop us.
[This message edited by Idiotmcstupid at 10:07 AM, August 17th, 2020 (Monday)]
Got me a new forum name!<BR />Formerly Idiotmcstupid.<BR />I am divorced, so not as much of an idiot now- 4/15/21,
FirstLoveGone (original poster member #25957) posted at 3:11 AM on Tuesday, August 18th, 2020
Thank you all for the reminders. My shield is back up!
Ripped62 ( member #60667) posted at 3:31 AM on Tuesday, August 18th, 2020
I will never understand such behavior. Interacting with such individuals is about as pleasant as a headache.
Tallgirl ( member #64088) posted at 4:09 AM on Tuesday, August 18th, 2020
I am sorry for your daughter.
True colours are hard to hide.
A douche.
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