Newest Member: username3016

Divorce/Separation :
XW is still a moron- parenting

Topic is Sleeping.
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Belle25 ( New Member #63676) posted at 8:10 PM on Tuesday, August 4th, 2020

He shouldn't be sleeping with his mom anymore. She is blurring the boundaries between mom and son.

Well, I disagree with this. My daughters are 10 and 11, and since covid and the separation, they both prefer to sleep in my room when they are with me. Sometimes in my bed, sometimes on a cot on my floor. They just want to be close. So much is out of their control right now, and life is so foreign to all of us, I don't fault kids for wanting to sleep close to their parent. The pediatrician agreed with that.

posts: 30   ·   registered: May. 3rd, 2018
id 8570189
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 Minnesota (original poster Member #50615) posted at 1:51 AM on Thursday, August 6th, 2020

Thanks everyone. I appreciate the encouragement.

I had to nod at SuperDaddy- Big Mister isn't on the chubby side. He's actually pretty active. But I know XW gives him candy all the time. There is a bag of it in her purse that is for him. And there is a drawer full of snacks in her closet that he hangs out in when he's doing school work. At my house, he only asks for candy after a candy holiday for a little while. "Sure. You can have a piece of candy after supper." Lasts about two weeks or until the good pieces are gone. He knows he can have as much fruit as he wants. Doesn't have to ask. Can just go get it. And he really likes apples.

I'm trying to teach him to do more stuff. And get him out from behind the damn phone/ipad/screen. Read a book. Jump on your trampoline. Ride your scooter. Go see if kids in the neighborhood are playing. "No. You don't need to play Roblox right now."

Me: BS Upper 40's
Her: XWW younger 30's
Married Sept. 2010
DDay Thanksgiving 2015
Dday2- Jan28ish, 2016 -new affair
One child (Big Mister) born in 2012
Divorced Sept. 2, 2016

posts: 2110   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2015   ·   location: Minnesota
id 8570800
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barcher144 ( Member #54935) posted at 3:39 PM on Thursday, August 6th, 2020

On topic: Minnesota... I am guessing that you and I have the same problem. Our emotionally abusive exes have convinced us that we are shitty dads, when the opposite is true.

Let me know and I will buy you that coke/margarita/beer anytime (post pandemic... I'm not going into a bar for a long, long time), whether I win or lose the bet.

Slight t/j: Barcher - your youngest needs to go to therapy is the cosleeping continues for much longer. That ain't normal stuff. A bad dream, a thunderstorm, being sick, sure, but not "most nights" because he/she both like it.

The custody evaluator recommended that we all see a family therapist. STBXW has the authority to block that, though, and she has (even though she signed the custody agreement), saying that she wants to wait until the divorce is over to start therapy. My lawyer has said that I am pretty much stuck.

I did a re-look at the custody evaluation and it pretty much says (explicitly) that I can do whatever I want with the kids on my time as long as it does not commit any of STBXW's funds. I interpret that as I have a right to take the kids to therapy as long as I pay for the costs on my own, which I am willing to do. I am still waiting on my attorney's opinion, though.

Me: BH, age 47
Her: WS, age 44 (multiple EAs and PAs)
D-Day: August 30, 2016

Diagnosed with depression in December 2016, which was primarily caused by my xWW's affair and associated emotional abuse.

posts: 5097   ·   registered: Aug. 31st, 2016
id 8570976
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SuperDaddy1027 ( Member #59344) posted at 6:26 PM on Thursday, August 6th, 2020

I'm trying to teach him to do more stuff. And get him out from behind the damn phone/ipad/screen. Read a book. Jump on your trampoline. Ride your scooter. Go see if kids in the neighborhood are playing. "No. You don't need to play Roblox right now.

You have no idea how similar our kids are MN lol. I feel like this is a constant conversation with my son. Luckily my DS is the opposite. She’s bored with her ipad lol. Unfortunately our trampoline blew away last night during a bad storm, so I guess I gotta find another non electronic toy 😉

[This message edited by SuperDaddy1027 at 12:26 PM, August 6th (Thursday)]

posts: 854   ·   registered: Jun. 23rd, 2017   ·   location: NC
id 8571072
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 Minnesota (original poster Member #50615) posted at 3:43 AM on Friday, August 7th, 2020

I am guessing that you and I have the same problem. Our emotionally abusive exes have convinced us that we are shitty dads, when the opposite is true.

Absolutely not. XW has not convinced me that I am a shitty dad. She knows I am a good dad. She has told people I'm a good dad. I Know I'm a good dad. She and I have differences. And generally, I think she's a moron. But I will not say that to her or Big Mister. And if I'm being completely honest, she's only a moron about things I don't like. We agree on more than we disagree on. I pick my battles. (that is to say, I avoid battles unless I REALLY feel strongly about something.

SuperDaddy- do you have to play Roblox? Big Mister likes me to hang out on the trampoline with him. But we just both lay there and wrestle a little. We joke around Sometimes we fart and laugh about it. I'm sorry yours blew away. Must have been a hellofa storm.

Me: BS Upper 40's
Her: XWW younger 30's
Married Sept. 2010
DDay Thanksgiving 2015
Dday2- Jan28ish, 2016 -new affair
One child (Big Mister) born in 2012
Divorced Sept. 2, 2016

posts: 2110   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2015   ·   location: Minnesota
id 8571270
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SuperDaddy1027 ( Member #59344) posted at 2:33 PM on Friday, August 7th, 2020

No my DS likes to play Roblox by himself. He likes when I play Madden or NHL with him. Or any of the Switch games.

Yea I’m debating if I buy another trampoline. The kids and I have enjoyed it but havent used it in awhile. We’ve been visiting my parents at the beach. Beach trumps anything at Dad’s.

posts: 854   ·   registered: Jun. 23rd, 2017   ·   location: NC
id 8571397
Topic is Sleeping.
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