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Separated now

Kitt posted 5/8/2020 00:18 AM

So, im just posting my story because im having a hard time right now because we are going to divorce.

We don't have kids together, but we both have ones from past relationships, Our kids are so bonded, its sad :(

We still had issues, and things were going decent. And then AP started to work with WW again. For some reason, that changed her. It was like the second that she found out, she stopped working on the relationship.

About 7 weeks ago, she deleted some text with the AP. A friend of hers brought some drinks, and the friend wanted the co-worker AP to come drink down with them.

We had a huge fight about it, she eventually agreed that she was wrong, and agreed to stop drinking at work. But that destroyed my trust. I almost left that night. And I wanted to work on our trust and rebuild our relationship.

For some reason she is resistant to that, so after she came home late without calling me, I left.

Man this hurts and sucks. The cheating, I can get over that, and rebuild our trust. Its taken me a bit over 1yr to get to a point where I could start to repair our relationship, and then this happened.

I moved out for a bit to decompress a bit.

I really miss her, but I have also been able to now figure out that if she does not want to work on re-building, then there is nothing I can do about it.

Neither one of us wants to separate, just, I cant stay in a relationship where the trust is that gone, and we are not working on rebuilding it.

I don't see this working out :/

WhoTheBleep posted 5/8/2020 04:37 AM

I'm sorry she has proven herself unworthy of reconciliation. She is not concerned at all with your healing or general well-being. You have nothing to work with here.

Will you file?

The1stWife posted 5/8/2020 05:02 AM

She chose drinking over her relationship with you.

How sad!!!!

BearlyBreathing posted 5/8/2020 22:19 PM

Hey Kitt

Yeah, it takes two really committed partners to R. I’m sorry— it really hurts.

So what is your plan? Getting some space is good, but make sure you talk to a lawyer and don’t put yourself is a bad position. How old are teh kids?

Hang in there.

Marz posted 5/8/2020 22:40 PM

It takes 2 if you don’t have that you are wasting your time.

[This message edited by Marz at 10:41 PM, May 8th (Friday)]

LadyG posted 5/13/2020 20:51 PM

I asked for a Divorce early this year after AP just kept popping up in our lives... that killed any chance of Reconciliation.

STBX just cannot understand why I no longer Trust.

Only this week EX came into contact with an associate of the A... I lost it a bit and messaged him about it. Again EX couldn’t understand that this associate was TOXIC by Proxy. Associate knew all of us, including my DS. Actually it’s awful that friends of even our DS were aware of the A. Some calling STBX WH ‘dirty old man’

As soon as ‘Divorce’ was mentioned, STBX was throwing words like ‘Amicable’ around. Now we have never had an ‘Amicable’ marriage, so the ‘Friendly’ divorce is almost impossible.

We have no fault divorce so we have to settle for an ‘equitable’ Divorce again only if STBXH agrees to Disclosure.

I will never ever have a chance to be compensated for the Pain, Suffering and Damages, including Financial damage inflicted upon myself and children. EX really should be paying the Trauma Counselling bills for our entire family unit.

Good luck and stay calm and Strong 🙏🏼

iamweasel posted 5/13/2020 21:02 PM

I've never understood when one partner says they don't want to separate/divorce yet won't do whats need to stave it off, which always leads one to, correctly, think what they say and what they want may be two different things.
Sorry to hear it. Still your life will get better though.

Kitt posted 5/26/2020 03:46 AM

Will you file?

Im sure if it. I don't have a time table of when, but I dont see another way out.

Im going to find an apartment this week to start moving into. We had a conversation, and after that, it became apparent that there is no way back. She has no intention on being with me any more. No will to even try to work on the relationship. Outside of money and house work I did, she has no want to be with me. So, I want to be with someone who want s me .

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