SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Good luck, hope it goes well foryou

Clear all your browsing history

Good luck, IBH. Hope to hear from you again.

Good Luck and we are here for you!!!!

LBH.

Proud of you.

This is a long journey. Follow the lawyers advice. Be careful.

We will be here when you’re out of danger and going through the emotional stuff.

God speed.

Stay strong. This is a wise path to follow. Protect your technology ASAP and store any evidence off site.

Don't take the "at will" job recommended by the AP (or anything coming from him), he and your WW are the ENEMY now, you need to protect yourself financially, DO NOT MAKE any moves UNTIL you talk to an Employment Law attorney, you DON'T have to make any moves just because AP feels YOU are going to create a hostile environment for them, really ! that coming from the guy that's been screwing your WW for a decade ?.

This is the mindset you seriously need to evolve into. LBH, nobody out there is going to stand up for you. Except you. Your hopefully STBX has been on this man's team for a decade or more. They have a long lead on you. They certainly don't have your interests at heart. Your wife clearly doesn't. The only element in her interest is to keep you employed so your children aren't impoverished. She doesn't really want you around the work place to jeopardize her position with your nasty reminders of the decade of adultery she and her workplace supervisor have been enjoying at your expense. So any position you take that he recommends serves her goals, not yours. That may seem obvious but (as I tried to say on Reddit) there is a real threat here, if your position has any oversight by HR in the organization you both work in. The thing is, THEY don't get to tell YOU that you are going to provide a hostile work environment, that's something they caused. They both know it, too. So, "they are your enemies" now may seem over the top and dramatic to you, but that doesn't mean it isn't true. You have to live every day like they are plotting against you, because, surprise, they are!

I think its hilarious the AP and your wife think he can quietly divorce. Clear your browser history to keep your WW from finding the site but she has her head so far up her ass she isn't online looking for sites about getting our of infidelity.

After you and your employment lawyer contact the company they will need to decide what to do.

A. Nothing - not likely

B. Settle with you, keep him and her - likely

C. Settle with you, fire or retire him, dead end your WW career - possible

D. Settle with you, fire them both - less likely

E. Settle with you, urge your WW to find other employment and climb up his ass with a forensic accountant to determine how much money misappropriated on the affair(s) and if he favored his mistress/your WW in funding decisions, including hiring you. (He was following the rule to keep friends close (your WW) and enemies closer (YOU)- not likely but it would serve him right

Hang in there friend, and in a year or two it will all be behind you. Keep strong.

I don’t post often, I can totally relate to your feelings of not wanting to make it worse. You’re in the middle of the pick me dance and you don’t want to give her a reason to not pick you— totally normal.

That being said, wagging the dog has ME wanting to retain an attorney so I hope you are truly feeling his urgency. If you haven’t, I feel you should take the offer here of the poster who wants to be an intermediary— find out if wagthedog has any contacts in your area he could reach out to

Beyond all that, there’s many of us who remember the early days of discovery and the almost paralyzing shock. You’ll get thru this, if you read around this forum, you’ll see there IS light at the end of the tunnel.

Good luck to you