I was going to post in OT but realize it's probable better to post here.
I was heading to pick up my dog. The light turned green. I waited 2 seconds while seeing if anyone was still driving through the lanes. I was clear. There was a car coming, but it had plenty of time to stop. I pressed on the gas and made it to the middle lane. I immediately slammed on my breaks and made my body relax for the impact. I'd seen out of my peripheral that the car was still coming.
She hit the front end of my vehicle and kept going for several feet while spinning. At first, I wasn't even sure if she'd hit me because my car jerked from me slamming on the breaks so hard and fast, but then my hood came up halfway and steam was coming out. I still had the green light, so I grabbed my purse and jumped out and got to the safety of the median.
Fast forward to when the first responders and police got there. She tries to blame her dog with her. "I'm so sorry, it was the dog's fault. He wouldn't stop barking."
Turns out, she had no driver's license, no insurance. But all of this was the dog's fault because he put a gun to her head and made her get behind the wheel of the car without a driver's license and without any auto insurance. He then made her ignore other drivers and the traffic light.
I went back in time for a half second. It was like a flashback. All I could see were all the times my ex had blamed everyone else but himself. He was always the victim. None of the consequences had anything to do with his own choices and his own actions. God help me, I started walking in her direction to beat her ass. I got it together and made myself turn around, it probably helped that there were still 3 police officers between us.
The rage I felt when she refused to accept responsibility is indescribable. I started shaking. Not because I could have died if I hadn't slammed on my breaks, not from adrenaline, not from seeing my vehicle utterly trashed, but from a long ago event that I thought had no more weight to effect me, a trigger from infidelity.
The cherry on top was when her boyfriend arrived and started calling ME a fucking bitch. Seriously!
Not sure if I need to work some more on myself. I dont even think about Xhole anymore. All of that infidelity stuff seemed like it happened to another person a long time ago until today.
And, yet, today, the rage ingelt for a complete stranger (albeit one who almost killed me), was pure trigger from days gone by of a man who couldn't own his shit and take responsibility for his own choices and actions. FML
On the positive side, I walked out. I'm not seriously hurt, and I do feel like a guardian angel was with me today. If I hadn't slammed on the brakes, if I hadn't waited 2 seconds, she would have completely T boned me and I'd be in the hospital or dead right now. I guess I'd rather be dealing with a trigger. Huh, I haven't had a trigger in about 5 years.
[This message edited by StillLivin at 1:29 AM, March 29th (Sunday)]