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Dating and opening up

patientlywaiting posted 3/20/2020 08:41 AM

I finally decided that I'm ready to date.

I asked out an acquaintance of mine that I've known for a few years who I've been crushing on for a while. She's older than me and has never been married or had any children. She's had her experiences with infidelity and we're on the same page with trust, communication etc.

We went to dinner and had a great meal and easy conversation. We didn't leave the restaurant for 4 hours and it only seemed like minutes. We both agree we have tons in common and many similar interests.

Even got together on Saturday night at a friend's house. Spent the evening texting each other after we got home. Definitely a strong connection there.

And here we are a week later and we're asked to "social distance". It's a cruel world out there.

We've continued to text and talk this past week. I'm kind of on a delayed high. If that makes sense. Staying positive that we'll continue to see each other when this social distancing is done. Fingers crossed.

hardtimesinlife posted 3/20/2020 16:31 PM

This might be a wonderful opportunity to talk and get to know one another without the physical...ahem... pressure that sometimes stalls the initial communication efforts

hardtimesinlife posted 3/20/2020 16:31 PM

This might be a wonderful opportunity to talk and get to know one another without the physical...ahem... pressure that sometimes stalls the initial communication efforts

patientlywaiting posted 3/21/2020 16:04 PM

So true that this may result in a deeper connection later. I hope thatís the case.

Being that this is my first real date after divorcing Iím taking it slow. If nothing else, this woman has shown me that I can have feelings again. What a time to be alive.

Hoping much truth and light with all my fellow SI family out there.

Williesmom posted 3/22/2020 14:04 PM

It is definitely an opportunity for you to get to know her without the possibility of physical intimacy.

I think itís kind of awesome.

Use this opportunity.

Snapdragon posted 3/22/2020 17:43 PM

Ok. So, have a movie date online!

You both get on your phone on skype or facetime, or whatever. Then you start a movie in your own homes at the same time. You watch the movie together, pause to talk about it, watch more, take intermission to make snacks and share your kitchen activities, go back to the movie.

You can also take a "walk" together in the same way. Or, start a home project and be on video with each other. Putting up shelves? Cleaning out a closet? There was a movie where the guy was going through his clothes closet and the woman was evaluating the various items to keep/pitch. It was cute.

This can be done!

UneedToSmile posted 3/22/2020 19:05 PM

Itís so great to hear news like this! Enjoy getting to know her!

ShatteredSakura posted 3/22/2020 20:28 PM

Ok. So, have a movie date online!
You both get on your phone on skype or facetime, or whatever. Then you start a movie in your own homes at the same time. You watch the movie together, pause to talk about it, watch more, take intermission to make snacks and share your kitchen activities, go back to the movie.

If you both have Netflix, google "Netflix Party", it's a chrome browser extension where you can synchronize watching a netflix stream (there's an integrated text chat). You create a session and then give the person a URL that they open on their end. Once inside, anyone can pause/play/seek the stream.

The website looked like there was an option for voice, but I didn't see it when I installed the extension. Would have been nice, but just use another messenger app service that supports voice chat (FB messenger, Discord, etc).

I tried it this weekend and it worked really nice.

WhoTheBleep posted 3/22/2020 22:23 PM

There was a movie where the guy was going through his clothes closet and the woman was evaluating the various items to keep/pitch. It was cute.

It was Meryl Streep and Steve Martin in "It's Complicated.". Love that movie!!

patientlywaiting posted 3/23/2020 06:27 AM

As always, the SI community comes up with some solid responses and suggestions.

The Netflix Party idea is a great one. A little interactive instead of endless texts. I like it.

This is a great opportunity. Snapdragon with some other great ideas! Who doesn't need a closet cleaned out? It might take longer but we've got nothing but time!

I'm just happy to be able to smile about someone again. Even if nothing comes to fruition as far as a relationship, I've seen the possibility of having a connection with someone again and that's a big move in the right direction.

ShatteredSakura posted 3/23/2020 15:33 PM

Although, the biggest drawback on the Netflix Party extension (or rather Netflix in general, hah!) is when you're trying to do it with someone who lives in a different region and doesn't have the same shows/movies available to them Bleh!

[This message edited by ShatteredSakura at 3:33 PM, March 23rd (Monday)]

patientlywaiting posted 3/25/2020 18:28 PM

Yes Shattered! the different region thing is annoying. Luckily for me , we're only a few towns apart!!!

We talked the other night for 2 hours on the phone. It felt like high school again, calling someone you like and hoping you'd get to talk to them.

So far she's opened my eyes to some music I wouldn't normally give a chance and I've enjoyed discovering something that has zero ties to my XW.

Even in the midst of a pandemic she has managed to keep me smiling and distracted in a good way. She may even get me to try yoga online at an appropriate social distance!!

Shehawk posted 3/26/2020 13:27 PM

The yoga sounds like fun!
A friend and I used to do that after he went for a run etc

Would run together except I do not run unless something is chasing me lol

ShatteredSakura posted 3/26/2020 15:29 PM

We talked the other night for 2 hours on the phone. It felt like high school again, calling someone you like and hoping you'd get to talk to them.

...

Even in the midst of a pandemic she has managed to keep me smiling and distracted in a good way. She may even get me to try yoga online at an appropriate social distance!!

That's good to hear. I'm happy for you! :)

ShatteredSakura posted 3/29/2020 17:24 PM

Btw, screen sharing via Discord works surprisingly well for remote watch parties. And that means you can then watch physical media you own. Plus integrated video/audio chatting.

patientlywaiting posted 3/29/2020 18:05 PM

Shattered,

Thank you. I didn't even think about Discord. That's a great idea.

We've been going back and forth over text and recommending bands and music we like. So far, she's opened my eyes to some that I wouldn't normally listen to and I've done the same.

I think I said it before but it bears repeating....It's so refreshing to find some commonality with someone else and it has nothing to do with your XW!!!!

Most of us spend so much time and energy wrapped up in our X's. Even years dedicated to them and their shitshow. It's nice to talk to someone else and focus on them and not be worried that what she's telling me has 29 different meanings or cover stories. Who knew honesty was so freeing? We did, of course.

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