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Bad at being the new girlfriend: Shadow to the ex-wife

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Cooley2here posted 2/4/2020 17:47 PM

Years ago I dated a guy for a couple of years. To hear him talk you would have thought we were the most romantic people ever. I liked him ok. He thought we were getting married. I could not get him to understand that I did not feel that way. Finally I told him we needed to move on. I am just a normal looking woman but for some crazy reason he thought I was the most wonderful thing ever. Long after I was married he would still call and tell me he loved me. It was not the least bit romantic to me. I never knew what to say. He was married twice and had a long term gf. Finally he got the message. Havenít heard from him in years.
I think your h is stuck. It sounds like his ex is so over it but she is where I was. How do you tell a person to ďget over itĒ? It feels cruel.
Donít have much advice for you. I think he needs his head examined.

EvenKeel posted 2/5/2020 06:58 AM

I agree Cooley - wonder if this guy has gotten any IC to help him through the stages?

nekorb posted 2/7/2020 20:39 PM

It's all in my head.

Correct, and that feeling is the red flags beating you back to reality!!

Holy crap, Athena. This guy needs to just move in with his ex and OM and be the pool boy.

I can't even.

Run, girl. Run.

Jesusismyanchor posted 2/7/2020 21:01 PM

I have a client and thought from the way he talked he had just gotten D. I was actually wondering if it was finalized yet as he was kind of flirty and it pertained to the business at hand. He spoke of her often and very badly. BUT then I found out it has been for like 10 years. Say what? He acts like she is crazy as heck but clearly stays in pretty close contact with her as he knows what is going on in her life in pretty good detail. She calls him and he answers right away. That would be weird!

On the other hand I know a man D about the same amount of time. He does not talk about his ex very much at all unless it comes up in regards to the kids and only then. He does not see her often or know the detail of her life. I donít think he cares. He only responds to texts about the kids and nothing else.

These 2 guys know each other and the second one said. He doesnít think the first guy was really over his ex.

Those are two totally different scenarios to me. I donít think the problem is so much saying someone with an ex but the fact that she is still so seemingly present in his life

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