Newest Member: MissKitty

I Can Relate :
Betrayed Menz Thread - Part 34

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Mr. Kite ( Member #28840) posted at 10:56 PM on Monday, December 2nd, 2019

In case you missed it:

1. Still alive.

2. Found a house. Bought it.

3. Still divorced. Finding it's a better fit than I could have ever hoped.

Thanks for letting us know your present status. You are missed.

I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what not to do.

posts: 1114   ·   registered: Jun. 18th, 2010   ·   location: Mid-Atlantic
id 8476138
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Sal1995 ( Member #39099) posted at 10:30 PM on Tuesday, December 3rd, 2019

WAL, glad you're doing well man. You got a raw deal, but you're badass enough to handle it and even thrive.

BH
Reconciled

posts: 1995   ·   registered: Apr. 26th, 2013   ·   location: Southwest
id 8476672
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LosferWords ( Member #30369) posted at 3:45 PM on Wednesday, December 4th, 2019

Walloped - I was happy to finally see a Broncos win! Not that it matters much for this season.

Always look on the bright side of life.

Took me a sec to catch the reference. If you could have somehow included the whistling, I would have gotten it quicker.

WAL - Good to hear from you! You took care of business really fast. Mine has been more of a drag-out process, but I understand about it being "a better fit than I could have ever hoped". Just being separated for two years now has been pretty damn awesome. Kicking off divorce proceedings first thing in the new year. Looking forward to that. Did you have a divorce party at your new digs?

posts: 31089   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2010
id 8476995
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LosferWords ( Member #30369) posted at 12:15 AM on Saturday, December 7th, 2019

Found out this week that STBX is still actively stalking me here. I don't care anymore. I'm surprised, as she is dating other dudes, and I thought she was moving along. What do I know? I'm not going to let her intimidate me from posting here. Happy Friday, gents!

posts: 31089   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2010
id 8478654
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Tred ( Member #34086) posted at 1:03 AM on Saturday, December 7th, 2019

WAL - great to hear you are doing well old friend.

Los, one piece of advice I always remember is that if you own it, they can't use it against you. You be you mate.

Married: 24 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

posts: 5786   ·   registered: Dec. 2nd, 2011
id 8478676
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Loukas ( Member #47354) posted at 1:53 AM on Saturday, December 7th, 2019

Happy to hear you’re gonna stick around, Los.

Cheers, gents

posts: 1759   ·   registered: Mar. 29th, 2015   ·   location: The school of hard knocks
id 8478695
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Mr. Kite ( Member #28840) posted at 3:45 AM on Saturday, December 7th, 2019

Have I finally lost my mind or am I really hearing sleigh bells every time I navigate around this site?

[This message edited by Mr. Kite at 9:46 PM, December 6th (Friday)]

I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what not to do.

posts: 1114   ·   registered: Jun. 18th, 2010   ·   location: Mid-Atlantic
id 8478731
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LosferWords ( Member #30369) posted at 4:01 AM on Saturday, December 7th, 2019

Thanks Tred and Loukas.

I did some decorating tonight while my son has been sleeping. Looking forward to seeing his reaction when he wakes up.

I haven't been hearing shit, Mr. K. Maybe I should unmute my phone? How have you been?

Incarnate - been a bit since I've seen an update. How have you been?

posts: 31089   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2010
id 8478739
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Mr. Kite ( Member #28840) posted at 4:16 AM on Saturday, December 7th, 2019

How have you been?

WW is out of the state for five days visiting with DS, his wife, our granddaughter and assorted in-laws. I have two services to preach on Sunday. Am working on songwriting today.

Both our teams, Broncos and Rams won last Sunday. Oh happy day!

Other than being stalked, how are you doing?

I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what not to do.

posts: 1114   ·   registered: Jun. 18th, 2010   ·   location: Mid-Atlantic
id 8478742
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Incarnate ( Member #46085) posted at 10:04 AM on Sunday, December 8th, 2019

Hey Losfer. It -has- been a while since I came back to this side of SI. I do read this thread whenever I see an update, but I know I tend to dominate the conversation, so I try to give other people a chance to speak and be heard.

I have been busy. Very busy. Starting my new/old job three weeks ago, Thanksgiving plans, NaNoWriMo, etc, and I more or less collapse into my chair and fall asleep when I get home. I did that tonight, actually, and now my feet hurt. >_<

Haven't done any woodworking in a long time, which bums me out. I have, however, put some work in on a silver commission; I just got two ounces of sterling silver wire delivered, and I started making a custom necklace for someone. It'll fetch me only $150, $80 of which is materials, but it's something I'll be able to do while watching movies or series at my desk. Little bit of side money, I guess, for something I enjoy doing. Can't complain about that.

How has everyone else been doing? I'll admit to being utterly lost in any sports conversation... I never got into that myself.

Me: BH
She: STBEW
Separated but cohabitating
DD1: 11/29/14
DD2: 8/14/19

What a wicked game we play.

posts: 767   ·   registered: Dec. 26th, 2014   ·   location: Northern California
id 8479154
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Sal1995 ( Member #39099) posted at 12:23 AM on Tuesday, December 10th, 2019

Los, one piece of advice I always remember is that if you own it, they can't use it against you. You be you mate.

Los, what Tred said. It sounds like your STBX is and always has been a very damaged and selfish person, and that's not going to change without intensive therapy. It may never change. I don't recall the reasons why you two are in a long separation without moving for divorce, but I hope you can close the book on this toxic relationship sooner rather than later brother. You're a damn good man who has done a lot for the people on this site, and you deserve a good life with a woman who'll love you and treat you right.

BH
Reconciled

posts: 1995   ·   registered: Apr. 26th, 2013   ·   location: Southwest
id 8479975
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LosferWords ( Member #30369) posted at 8:33 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2019

Mr. Kite - Sounds like you have been keeping yourself busy! I hope your two services went well. Very cool you are keeping up with the songwriting. Glad our teams got to win!

I have been busy. Very busy. Starting my new/old job three weeks ago, Thanksgiving plans, NaNoWriMo, etc, and I more or less collapse into my chair and fall asleep when I get home. I did that tonight, actually, and now my feet hurt.

That's quite the full schedule, Incarnate. Sometimes busy is good! That's very cool about the silver commissioning. Sounds like something that's good for your soul.

I'll admit to being utterly lost in any sports conversation... I never got into that myself.

I was largely the same way until the last 10 years or so. I'm kind of surprised how much I've been into the NFL lately - especially with all the new damn rules.

Sal - Thanks, brother. I am looking forward to closing this chapter and moving forward. I've dabbled in the dating world, and I'm thinking I want to be happily single for awhile! I truly appreciate the kind words.

Other than being stalked, how are you doing?

Not too bad, Mr. K. Gearing up for the holidays and making some more future music project plans. Unfortunately my dog's cancer has returned, this time to his lungs. Going to see what the options are there. Other than that, looking forward to taking some much needed time off near the holidays to spend with my son.

posts: 31089   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2010
id 8480811
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Mr. Kite ( Member #28840) posted at 2:58 AM on Thursday, December 12th, 2019

Unfortunately my dog's cancer has returned, this time to his lungs.

Going through the same thing with my Beagle except the cancer is in his mouth. He's killed hundreds of moles so maybe that's how he got it. The vets have given him the thumbs down but he still takes long walks with me every day, eats all his food, and doesn't complain, so I'm taking it one day at a time.

When he was diagnosed with cancer in April of 2018, I prayed and asked for two more years with him. If he makes it until next April that prayer will have been granted.

So sorry this happened to your dog and that you have to go through this. It's a totally brutal process.

WW has informed me that there will be no more dogs after this one. But I told her that there will indeed be another dog when the time comes. Too bad I've lost my passivity, right?

I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what not to do.

posts: 1114   ·   registered: Jun. 18th, 2010   ·   location: Mid-Atlantic
id 8481013
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LosferWords ( Member #30369) posted at 8:47 PM on Thursday, December 12th, 2019

Sorry to hear about your beagle, Mr. K. Sounds like he has been kicking some serious butt, though! I hope he continues to stay happy and healthy for as long as possible. Good on him with the moles. And good on you with the lack of passivity! If you want a freaking dog, have a dog. Life is too short. Dogs are great companions, and most importantly, loyal. Right?

posts: 31089   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2010
id 8481447
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Mr. Kite ( Member #28840) posted at 10:42 PM on Thursday, December 12th, 2019

Dogs are great companions, and most importantly, loyal. Right?

Absolutely! WW and I had this discussion last night. My love language is affection which I rarely have gotten from her over the last almost 38 years of being together because she's not capable of giving me that. According to her it's because of FOO issues. So too bad for me, right?

So instead I've gotten the affection from the dogs I've had over the years. Sad but true.

On an NFL note: Drew Lock has been looking good as of late. The Broncos may have found their franchise QB. Best of luck against the Chiefs on Sunday.

I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what not to do.

posts: 1114   ·   registered: Jun. 18th, 2010   ·   location: Mid-Atlantic
id 8481511
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tbkjcn ( Member #44744) posted at 2:50 AM on Friday, December 13th, 2019

Losfer , I'm really sorry to hear the cancer's back. That sucks, man.

Mr. Kite, I'm sorry to hear about your beagle too. I've lost my last two dogs to cancer in the last two years. They were siblings and both developed the same cancer about a year apart. Lost my girl this last Labor Day weekend, on the 5th anniversary of the last day of my old life. Still miss them both, and I miss having a dog. Dogs are very good listeners and my two sure did their share of listening. And the thing is, they never disagreed with me or argued that my viewpoint was wrong.

Well, gents, I've had enough of winter. I'm off to sunny, warm and sandy environs tomorrow. Well, technically Saturday, but I leave for Chicago tomorrow afternoon to spend the night so I can catch a 6am flight Saturday morning that 12 hours later will deposit me in said environs. I'll think of you all shoveling your collective driveways and will raise a beer or fruity umbrella drink to you, your choice.

Me: BH 49 (then)
Her: WW 48 (then)
D-Day 8-30-14 3 yr LTA and 1 ONS (9-1-14 the rest of the story, she can't remember how many men)
Divorce filed 1/14/15, final 4/7/15
Married 23 years together 28

posts: 662   ·   registered: Sep. 3rd, 2014   ·   location: IL
id 8481641
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Mr. Kite ( Member #28840) posted at 3:55 AM on Friday, December 13th, 2019

Mr. Kite, I'm sorry to hear about your beagle too. I've lost my last two dogs to cancer in the last two years. They were siblings and both developed the same cancer about a year apart. Lost my girl this last Labor Day weekend, on the 5th anniversary of the last day of my old life. Still miss them both, and I miss having a dog.

Cancer sucks! So sorry you had to go through this and lose your buddies.

Dogs are very good listeners and my two sure did their share of listening. And the thing is, they never disagreed with me or argued that my viewpoint was wrong.

They are also our biggest cheerleaders. Gone for ten minutes and the dog greets me at the door like I've been gone for a month.

I'll think of you all shoveling your collective driveways and will raise a beer or fruity umbrella drink to you, your choice.

I came to my senses this spring and hired someone to do my lawn. Will be hiring someone to do the snow shoveling as well. That'll be me looking out the window, holding my checkbook with a big smile on my face. Enjoy the tropical climate wherever you end up.

I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what not to do.

posts: 1114   ·   registered: Jun. 18th, 2010   ·   location: Mid-Atlantic
id 8481677
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LosferWords ( Member #30369) posted at 6:20 PM on Friday, December 13th, 2019

Very sorry for your losses, tbk. That is brutal.

Dogs are very good listeners and my two sure did their share of listening. And the thing is, they never disagreed with me or argued that my viewpoint was wrong.

That is just awesome.

My love language is affection which I rarely have gotten from her over the last almost 38 years of being together because she's not capable of giving me that. According to her it's because of FOO issues. So too bad for me, right?

Mine is kind of a tie between words of affirmation and quality time. Dogs definitely fulfill quality time, and sometimes words of affirmation is them just sitting there and listening without judgement, as tbk stated.

TBK - Enjoy the sunny weather! We are set to have snow on Sunday, and I'm looking forward to it. I see your fruity umbrella drink, and raise you a hot cocoa with spiced rum after shoveling!

On an NFL note: Drew Lock has been looking good as of late. The Broncos may have found their franchise QB. Best of luck against the Chiefs on Sunday.

Dude... The KFC Chefs have a nine point advantage this Sunday, but I still picked my Broncos in the football pool I'm in! It will be fun to see Mahomes and Lock go head-to-head. I know the odds are greatly against the Broncos, but it would be so fun if they give the Chefs a run for their money.

Happy Friday, Gents!

posts: 31089   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2010
id 8481958
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Mr. Kite ( Member #28840) posted at 6:37 PM on Friday, December 13th, 2019

Dude... The KFC Chefs have a nine point advantage this Sunday, but I still picked my Broncos in the football pool I'm in! It will be fun to see Mahomes and Lock go head-to-head. I know the odds are greatly against the Broncos, but it would be so fun if they give the Chefs a run for their money.

Patrick Mahomes is a joy to watch but he can be stopped or at least slowed down. The Broncos will have to go to KC. A tough hill for them to climb. Still, any given Sunday, brother.

My Rams are in Dallas on Sunday. Hope they beat the Cowboys so that we can watch Jerry Jones gradually melting down in the owner's box.

I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what not to do.

posts: 1114   ·   registered: Jun. 18th, 2010   ·   location: Mid-Atlantic
id 8481969
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 6:50 PM on Friday, December 13th, 2019

Fruity umbrella drink, by all means. Keeps you happy and healthy simultaneously. Enjoy your vacation.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26031   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8481979
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