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GraceLove (original poster member #59212) posted at 5:23 AM on Wednesday, September 25th, 2019
Hi Everyone,
I honestly never thought I would get to the other side. All those dark early days when it felt like my life was completely obliterated.
Then the horrible separation and then the actual divorce process. Playing the waiting game, thinking that I will never find someone.
I can't tell you all how much I have appreciated all the love and support AND your ability to keep things real for me.
I recently started dating someone and it's true! There ARE good men out there. I'm so grateful to God.
At first I was attracting the same old same old. I got myself a mentor/ coach and learned how to online date (which I used to HATE and thought was a totally desperate, horrible thing to have to do to meet someone). I learned how to do it well so I was only attracting men with the same values. I had to do some intense inner work, but I'm so glad I did it, because it worked.
I'm so inspired by how this has happened that I've decided to be a life consultant/ mentor and help others.
It's early days but I haven't been excited about someone the way I am with him, for a looooong time.
So big thanks to all of you for walking this journey with me. Can't tell you how grateful I am. I can honestly say that divorce was the worst and definitely best thing that ever happened to me.
JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 5:34 AM on Wednesday, September 25th, 2019
Welcome to the other side! It's so much nicer here, isn't it???
GraceLove (original poster member #59212) posted at 7:25 AM on Wednesday, September 25th, 2019
Hey JanaGreen,
Oh. My. Goodness. Can't believe it. It's almost surreal. I'm just so damn excited about the prospect of finally being with someone who is so much more similar to me than anyone I have ever met really.
WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 2:40 PM on Wednesday, September 25th, 2019
Aren't new beginnings grand???
Forget meeting someone new, the simple lack of abuse is absolutely euphoric. Now throw in a good man, and your heart, mind and body are about bursting with joy. So much positive energy you don't even know what to do with yourself!!
Yep, I know the feeling!! Getting the s*** blame shifting voices of our ex's out of our heads is huge!!
There ARE good men out there. I'm so glad you found one GraceLove.
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
GraceLove (original poster member #59212) posted at 6:36 PM on Wednesday, September 25th, 2019
Hi WhoTheBLeep
Forget meeting someone new, the simple lack of abuse is absolutely euphoric. Now throw in a good man, and your heart, mind and body are about bursting with joy. So much positive energy you don't even know what to do with yourself!!
You hit the nail on the head! I was completely euphoric just before my divorce I thought I was bipolar!
But I wasn't. I was just one more abused woman who got out.
And boy oh boy...I'm so completely grateful that I am living back in my homeland, with my new (younger! and sooo hot!) Canadian boyfriend. Life is soooo good.
fooled13years ( member #49028) posted at 6:43 PM on Wednesday, September 25th, 2019
GraceLove
I'm so inspired by how this has happened that I've decided to be a life consultant/ mentor and help others
Congratulations!
I do not believe anything we experience in our lives is a waste, good or bad, if it is used to help someone else.
I removed myself from infidelity and am happy again.
Phantasmagoria ( member #49567) posted at 8:25 PM on Wednesday, September 25th, 2019
Hey GraceLove, I’m curious to understand what adjustments you made that changed your dating results? Thank you.
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 8:29 PM on Wednesday, September 25th, 2019
Ditto ....spill some of your OLD secrets!! And congratulations!!
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 10:47 PM on Wednesday, September 25th, 2019
Ditto.... very curious to hear about the changes you made.
Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver
Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie
GraceLove (original poster member #59212) posted at 7:55 AM on Thursday, September 26th, 2019
Hi BarelyBreathing and Crysalis
Ditto ....spill some of your OLD secrets!! And congratulations!!
Ok! Here are a few but really it was about this whole approach that would take a long time to explain.
When you do you profile, it's all about values. Interests don't matter.
Sift through the profiles and you do the picking. Not the other way around.
I approached men first. I rarely would even respond to those who approached me. Unless he had actually read my profile and he was attractive.
I had alot of rules that I followed during the whole process.
I spent a lot of time (and money) on my profile as well as coaching. But hey, we all know how much divorce costs so it was nothing compared to that.
Did tons of work on myself.
Really figured out why I was attracting the wrong guys.
Gave myself a deadline of 90 days to find the guy.
That's it in a nutshell. Lots more to it but it worked for me.
And the great news is, I already have 2 clients who are excited to try this!
Seriously--there were somedays where I never ever thought life could be so good after all that happened!
Hopeful Lady ( member #30441) posted at 11:20 PM on Tuesday, October 8th, 2019
Congratulations Grace! I know the feeling - it’s amazing.
[This message edited by Hopeful Lady at 6:34 AM, October 9th (Wednesday)]
Ganondorf ( member #70843) posted at 5:24 PM on Thursday, October 17th, 2019
Great. I'd rather be wrong if it means things are ok, haha.
Legit forgot my DD and divorce and I'm fine with that.
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