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How to get through DDay anniversary

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 lizgwvet (original poster member #15967) posted at 4:40 AM on Sunday, June 2nd, 2019

It's coming up,on Monday, 4th year.

How do others get through it????

Thought I would be fine, but now I am feeling anxious.

When someone reveals their true self the first time believe it!

Maya Angelou

posts: 453   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2007   ·   location: Washington state
id 8386680
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Hobbyist ( member #55532) posted at 7:12 PM on Sunday, June 2nd, 2019

Stay busy is the best advice I can give, make sure to plan something on that day to distract yourself. It's nothing to celebrate anymore, though a bottle of wine might still be useful.

BH, 30's with 3 beautiful kids. Divorced in 2017 - SO much happier!

posts: 439   ·   registered: Oct. 8th, 2016   ·   location: USA
id 8386889
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TrustedHer ( member #23328) posted at 1:10 AM on Monday, June 3rd, 2019

How did you get through the previous ones?

Have you noticed a pattern? For me, it was a big, almost physical build-up of tension leading up, but the actual day was nothing special. Bigger the first years, but reduced year after year.

Have a plan to stay busy. But allow a bit of alone time if you need to have an emotional let-down.

Take care of yourself. There's a great future out there. It won't come to you; you have to go to it.

posts: 5942   ·   registered: Mar. 21st, 2009   ·   location: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
id 8387027
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 3:21 AM on Monday, June 3rd, 2019

Book time with friends, get a massage or a pedicure, catch a great movie. Do the things that are about you. It’s just a day. Take its power away. Sending strength...

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6488   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8387066
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 lizgwvet (original poster member #15967) posted at 3:29 AM on Monday, June 3rd, 2019

Thanks all,

Had a great day today, planning lots of stuff tomorrow ( actual date)

When someone reveals their true self the first time believe it!

Maya Angelou

posts: 453   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2007   ·   location: Washington state
id 8387073
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 lizgwvet (original poster member #15967) posted at 6:21 AM on Tuesday, June 4th, 2019

Had a wonderful day filled with family and friends!!!

Love my SI community

When someone reveals their true self the first time believe it!

Maya Angelou

posts: 453   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2007   ·   location: Washington state
id 8387684
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Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 7:06 AM on Tuesday, June 4th, 2019

Liz

so happy you had a great day with family and friends :)

My one year anniversary of finding out my husband "loved" a women he had met in person only once and lied to me about engaging in sexual acts and sleeping with is this weekend.

To get through this dreadful date, I am telling people (breaking the silence) and doing radical self care (like not getting out of bed until noon today,letting myself cry,happily accepting presents and food from friends,and planning my "best revenge" of having a happy life without his lying cheating self in it).

It hurts. I am not gonna lie. So let myself feel the pain. I spent a bit of time in the fetal position crying today. But I got up off the bathroom floor, made myself gluten free peanut butter cookies, lit a candle (which he hated btw), texted a couple of friends and took a couple of steps towards cleaning out and getting the house of pain sold (primary house he sent naked and provocative texts and messages and posts to the homewrecking OW's in).

Forgive me for the thought, but I am also contemplating taking a jewlery hammer to my wedding band and burning family photos that he is in on the actual date in radical and totally out of character acts. I haven't decided yet. I should probably just buy myself a pretty new journal and burn or shred the old one. That's how I am getting through this. And prayer. Lots of prayer.

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1956   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: US
id 8387691
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