DDay#1 was on April 6, 2006. In the early hours of the 7th I went online and typed in "how to survive infidelity" in the search engine. This website came up. I registered as "ohsolost" because I was so lost and afraid. I posted for the first time in "Just Found Out" and poured my heart out. And when I went to read the replies I cried even more because I found that everything I was feeling was validated. I had support. I had friends whom I had never met (until I met a group of four in person one time). I had the feeling that the whole situation wasn't going to kill me.
Eventually I ventured into the reconciliation forum, although it turned out I was in false reconciliation as xWH had not stopped seeing the OW. I was in General a lot, and I might have gone to the divorce forum as well. The xWH would not go no-contact. There was no letter to the OW. The only contact I had with her was when I found they were still communicating and I had his phone locked in the bathroom with me. I texted her the link to this website and told her that it could possibly help her avoid married men. Whether or not she tried it, I'll never know.
I am here 13 years later...finally found the peace I had been looking for all those years ago. Happy in a relationship for almost 8 years. I learned a lot about myself, and about what I would and would not tolerate in a relationship. My kids know that infidelity is never acceptable because I made sure they knew I wasn't deserving of xWH's behavior. I was afraid for my kids, worried that they wouldn't be ok with having divorced parents, afraid that I had ruined them, sad for them that they didn't have a happy home life. Today, I have 2 thriving adults and a beautiful teenager doing everything teens do. They are ok. I didn't ruin them.
Now I come here and dabble in the "Off topic" forum for different things. Sometimes it's sad in there. Sometimes it's inspirational! Sometimes it's just plain silly. And now I go into Just Found Out to give hope and comfort to those who are where I was 13 years ago...lonely and desperate for something real to hold onto.
Hugs to all those who helped me get where I am now, and bigger hugs to those who find themselves here and looking for a way to survive infidelity. You will get through it. Just never give up hope.
Me - 50
Kids 25, 22, 18
1st DDay in 2006, 2nd in 2007
D in 2009
Happily Committed to SO since 2011
