SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

where the WS and BS successfully reconcile after D-Day?

None are coming to mind. But then think about why infidelity is portrayed, it offers a twist (for lack of a better word) in the mundane. It's accepted and not shocking in movies, books, tvs....until it happens to you in real life.

I was wondering this too! Because there are soooooo many where the A is such a wonderful thing *eye roll*. It's always part of the WS's personal development, or the BS is a monster, etc. Uggghhhh.

This doesn't really count but the closest thing I can think of is Moneypit. The thing is, she doesn't really cheat (depending on your definition of cheating of course!), but she thinks she has (and of course, when you think about it, she should really think she got date raped). Anyway. They R, but it's right at the end and it's so superficial and quick, and then she says, well I didn't sleep with him, and then Hollywood ending, everything is fine.

I would love to see if anyone can come up with a movie, or even a book, about real R.

Thanks for posting!

I've never seen it and it is an AWFUL example, but I believe in Fatal Attraction the plot is that Michael Douglas has cheated onAnne Archer and that is why Glen Close (the bunny-boiling AP) is threatening them. So, technically, I think that's an example. But again, while I know the general plot it's only from reputation so I couldn't say how it's handled or if they are still together at the end?

The only other example I can think of is the Sex And The City movie (Miranda and Steve break near the start of the film after she discovers his ONS). Personally, I hated that film though so not sure I'd recommend it. THe sequel Carrie ends up snogging Aiden and is considering cheating on Mr Big but they end up together and happy again. It's really no better than the first!! (just my opinon though, apologies to those who love these films)

I found the potential infidelity plot twist in The Money Pit to be a bit bizarre and felt somewhat out of place. And I agree, it just kinda blows past it with a "well at least it didn't really happen!". If anyone can come up with a list of infidelity themed movies where characters R I wonder if there's a gender bias. I feel like society and the media do expect/accept cheating behaviours from men more than women?

I imagine books would be more likely to deal with Rs, but I do think it plays into the general societal view where people will loudly and proudly shout "I would never forgive a cheater". There's a general view of BS who forgive being 'weak' (obviously I do not agree with this but I think there's a general perception in media). I can't judge, I was probably one of them myself who said I'd never take back a cheater. Unfortunately, it's not always easy to judge these things until you experience it. I guess film makers just find some kinds of pain and forgiveness easier to stomach in a script.

[This message edited by TheCaterpillar at 11:35 AM, March 19th (Monday)]

Actually, you could argue Love Actually shows this. Alan Rickman (RIP), one of my favourite actors, made me absolutely hate him as he sleeps with his younger secretary (yes, this film is now banned as it's a tad close to home for me). His wife and mother of his children, Emma Thompson, figures it out after watching them flirt at the christmas party and then realises the expensive necklace she found was a gift for the AP, not her. SHe puts on a smile for her children then silently sobs in the bedroom. Even but my own experience this part of the film would have me sobbing, Emma Thompson is absolutely heartbreaking. She confronts him calmly and matter-of0factly asking "would you wait around to find if it was just a necklace? Or sex and a necklace? Or something more?" at which point Alan Rickman admits he's a fool. We don't know whether he truly admitted to what happened. In the final seen we se them reuniting after a trip, with the kids. They're together but Emma Thompson's greeting is colder than before and somewhat stilted, suggesting that while they're still married, it's not a fairytale ending.

*Indecent Proposal, but of course he agreed to it first, so not sure if it counts.

*There is that Debra Winger movie that came out a couple of years ago and is all about she and her husband and the both of them cheating and then renewing their relationship. I tried to watch it, but it was too triggery, so I can't say how it ended.

I was telling my IC that I keep searching for books where REAL people reconcile after an affair and are HAPPY. The condition being that it isn't a Christian book. Have yet to find one. She told me that she has plenty of clients who seem to have recovered, and I said "well they should write me a book then!"

* Tom Cruise cheats on his wife in The Firm and she seems to forgive him in the end as they end up together.

* Forces of Nature is all about Ben Affleck and the pre-wedding dalliance he had with Sandra Bullock. There was just kissing, but an A is still an A, right?

I can't think of a single movie or TV show that has ever adequately portrayed the depth of pain that an A has on a BS nor the havoc it wreaks in our lives. I tried watching Divorce on HBO last week and Sarah Jessica Parker has a LTA, her husband an EA, yet neither seem broken by their actions OR the other person's betrayal.

Oh I cannot watch that movie at all (love actually). So many reasons. Mainly because even thinking about that scene of Emma Thompson in the bedroom listening to her CD makes me feel like breaking down. But also, there is like a whole comedy scene about Alan Rickman trying to get the necklace wrapped up in time before his wife comes back... I hate thinking about when I was younger I thought that scene was hilarious. Now I just think,

ALSO in that movie, we have a guy deciding that he's in love with his best "friend"'s new wife, and he thinks it acceptable to come to his HOUSE and serenade her with a romantic gesture, and then SHE thinks it's acceptable to give him a kiss. We both know they'll be in full A mode a few weeks after the movie ends! ARGH. /rant

**SPOILER**

"Gone Girl" ends with the couple still together but anyone who has seen the movie or read the book will tell you it is NOT a healthy marriage and it's definitely not a healthy R. I wouldn't go for it for realism (It's also a really sucky book, imo, with the exception of the famous 'cool girl' rant)

Satine - interesting side note. In the original script Rowan Atkinson (the shop assistant) was a sort of CHristmas angel trying to set things right at christmas (he also helps facilitate the little boy running through the airport). That his timewasting was intentially to give Alan Rickman time to think and make a better decision. Originally he'd pop up in other storylines too as a sort of christmas angel.

But I agree, as an adult this films is problematic in a lot of ways. But I was 16 when it first came out and I thought it was AMAZING. As a teen it was one of my favourite films Even without the 'A' I guess you grow up and learn to see things differently but it does make me sad, my opinion of this films kind of encapsulates loss of innocence.

There is a movie called "The Edge of Love" that goes there.

I won't give away the whole thing but the film does a good job of showing the trauma that infidelity causes, the pain of the BS, the pain of the truly remorseful WS and, in the end, there is reconciliation between a WS and BS.It wasn't a very good movie overall, but that part of it felt honest.

Edited because too spoilery I thought - this is the jist.

[This message edited by beauchateaux at 12:07 PM, March 19th (Monday)]

There are so few.

I see some good descriptions above,

I will add one that helped my husband.

"Thanks for Sharing" - I particularly admired Pink's character, as I know she has had her own ups and downs in life.

It shows the destructiveness of sexual addiction. Not all affairs branch from this. But for my wayward, a lot of that movie has areas that resonated with him. It was a reason he dug deeper into his counseling program work.

There is a happy ending for both a dating and a married couple.

I need to say, if I come across a plot in a show or a movie that allows for affairs being "enlightening" They are off my list.

Early on I couldn't watch anything on affairs.

And I love that the TV show Blue Bloods makes clear over and over, that they are not ok with it in their family - even if they can't control other people's stupidity. They make the characters flawed, but every working back toward marriage and family being of value.

Last. I think Fatal Attraction had a happy ending. But I can't watch it. My husband picked a bunny boiler. If we had a bunny, and she could boil it, she would.

Be careful. Movies are easily triggers. If you are prone, it might be a good time for documentaries on travel, cooking food, or restoring cars or homes.

To everything there is a season. And triggery movies may have to wait.

[This message edited by uxorpatricius at 12:06 PM, March 19th (Monday)]

There all these shows and movies about cheating where the couple does not R . . . WH usually gets thrown out . . .so I kind of wanted to watch something with a positive ending (although I guess one can say in those instances throwing out the WS is a positive ending...) I love "Love Actually" - haven't seen it since D-Day though and as I recall there was kind of a band-aid put on the ending of that . . .

This isn't necessarily relevant to this thread as it's not focussing on R but we just finished watching "The Marvelous Mrs Maisel". Episode 1 follows Mrs Maisel as her husband announces he is leaving in order to pursue an affair with his secretary. 3 of the 4 women WH slept with were colleagues or employees and the 4th was while he was out of town on his company's national retreat. But we watched the whole series and while there were some *hold you breath* moments it was the most comfortable we've been when confronted with infidelity themed media. It actually felt pretty good knowing we can handle it.

I'm just putting this out there to say that while some stuff is always going to be distateful to people who've been through what we have, maybe it does get easier (where the subject is handled tastefully)

Parenthood sort of showed it - it doesn’t really say if the mom actually had an affair (at least that I remember) but she goes on vacation with an art professor that she has an attraction with and is flirting with sort of. I feel like it was more just about making the dad wake up and see that she had needs that weren’t being met sort of thing.

Enemy of the State. It is a Will Smith movie. During the movie you learn that he had an affair, events before the movie began, but he is contacted by his AP. It is a spy thriller. Pretty good.

Unfaithful...they seemed to be headed toward R in the end.

No, wait...

He murdered her AP and will probably spend the rest of his life in jail.

Maybe that's not a good example.

I can think of a few where R is anticipated but not fully shown, like Something to Talk About or Crazy, Stupid, Love. They’re both good movies but I caution you that the BSs go through similar storylines of “finding themselves” by exploring other types of relationships, so if you are sensitive to that kind of thing you should avoid.

The Intern shows this (Anne Hathaway's character is the BS).

How ironic in that I saw the movie in the theater with some girlfriends and remember saying I hated the ending because she stayed with the cheater husband.

My how the tables have turned on me...

Unfaithful...they seemed to be headed toward R in the end.

No, wait...

He murdered her AP and will probably spend the rest of his life in jail.

Maybe that's not a good example

It's not a good example. In a good example the BS would not get caught

I jest, I jest. I am in no way advocating murder, regardless of a person's questionable sexual/moral past.

Unfaithful...they seemed to be headed toward R in the end.

No, wait...

He murdered her AP and will probably spend the rest of his life in jail.

Maybe that's not a good example.

It seemed to me like he was getting away with it.

After I found out about my wife's affair, by the way, I considered it very interesting in hindsight that Unfaithful was one of her all-time favorite movies that she watched over and over.

I hated that Skyler cheated in Breaking Bad. Mr. White just swept it right the hell under the rug. That was not a real reconciliation. Then they were sort of forced back together by mutual economic interests.

[This message edited by OneLittleVictory at 4:26 PM, March 19th (Monday)]