SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Every step you make, every action you take, gives you control. Start with one piece, the other pieces will follow.

Never lose site of the goal: to get yourself (and your kids) out of infidelity.

Use anger wisely.

Don't get mad, get even.

Don't get mad, get smart.

Lawyer, job one. You can do it!

So what's the scoop, GW?

See another divorce atty Friday, tell kids Friday night so it doesn't affect the school week. Going to tell them the whole truth minus the sex, obviously. How moms week away wasn't for training, how long it's been going on. Military is guess will have to wait until after Irma- they are evacuating the base

She still is treating me like this never happened. I just can't believe me being back hasn't caused more of an issue with OM. If I was him I'd be livid

She still is treating me like this never happened. I just can't believe me being back hasn't caused more of an issue with OM. If I was him I'd be livid

I'm sorry GW. STAY STRONG!

GW,

I think your WW and the OM are both in 'don't rock the boat' mode. Your WW cannot go to the OM anytime soon, so why shouldn't she smile and play nice so she can stay in the family home without getting a lot of flak and arguments? And the OM already stated, somewhat stupidly, that he hoped you wouldn't blow up his job. So is it in his interest to make any waves? No, of course not. Plus, he does have active duties to be taking care of. He may even be regretting making long term plans with your WW. Who knows? The one thing that does not serve his best interests right now is creating a fuss or a spectacle. He is way out of line to be involved in infidelity, and he knows it. He won't want to point a spotlight at himself! They both probably think they are playing you.

While you are waiting for his base to do something about this, why not contact your congressman? As others have said, it all adds to the pressure, and it keeps the wheels turning. It may take the military at the actual base some time to pack their bags and then set up again elsewhere, so contacting your congressman is a good way to push progress forward while that is happening.

Well the manipulation monster showed up tonight. I had posted two quotes on FBabout choices and consequences and integrity. She automatically decided they were about her and the OM, and asked if they were directed at her. I told her no, they were about an issue at work, which they were. Later she changed her relationship status from married to separated. She baited me... like a fool I fell for it and asked why the change. She said it was because her friends ( I take that to be OM) thought they were about her so she put separated so they would stop asking.

She did it because an old boss of mine . A female who she knows is gay, commented. She accused me of having sex with her and causing this! Never mind she was my boss 10 years ago and lives 3 states away. I told her she was the one destroying the family for a 6 month LDR, and she said I can't help the way I feel about him.

Well after being partially hooked, I realized she did it because she thought the quotes were for OM meaning I was threatening to call the military on him., or he directed her to change it. (Which I already have, as posted previously) and changed it so if the investigators look it will say separated. Little does she know I have a screen shot from yesterday with the married Statius and I sent one from July as well. Nice try, nice lie! She almost got me to be the whiny ass plese don't leave me till I caught myself. Back to the 180.

Yea, I think she changed the FB status in hopes that it will help OM during the investigation...I'm sure that's why she had you move out in the first place...

The wallpaper, the FB status...Two things are very clear to me. They are in contact (burner phone, new email account... some other means) and she is just trying to keep things "normal" until the investigation is over. She is extremely focused on OM right now... so now would be the time to blow up this up... by telling friends and family. You want to control the narrative. She changed her FB status because she is having an Affair not because "we grew apart"... Yes, its going to disrupt your world but... it's going to disrupt her world even more. She is going to see that she can't rug sweep this, that OM doesn't want her (right now, and especially during the investigation).

Keep the VAR on you at all times. This is one case where a fake DV call could really hurt you and give her everything.

Once the kids have left for school start the process of telling everyone.

She's actually still using her own phone. I believe the investigation may be on hold due to the hurricane. The base is evacuating and all the subs are going to sea. She tried to say I cheated to cover her bullshit. She is manipulating hard. You did this so I did that crap. I know the truth. I have a letter ready to post to OM parents and to several of her friends . After I leave work this morning I am posting them. Hopefully they get read. She still claims to be in love with this asshole.... says she doesn't want to be with me. Well we will see how she thinks when we tell the kids the truth together about mommys exploits, minus the graphic areas.

Has your wife agreed to telling your children on Friday?

Stay off social media unless it's for Recon Opsec.

Stay doing the 180.

I don't care if you live literally in the middle of exactly where Irma is going to hit precisely at the moment of your lawyer's meeting. You're going to that meeting.

And for Christ's Sake, it's not because of the hurricane. You need to start barking up the food chain. I can promise you that your local House representative isn't doing shit beyond cleaning out his or her fridge right now

GW, ...and the manipulation continues, as expected. It won't end anytime soon. Just assume anything she says or does it for self protection of herself and the affair. Stay aware since you now can recognize it, and she becomes more desperate.

She accused me of having sex with her and causing this!

Yeah,..like I said, desperation.

I agree with M1965, keep the pressure on. Tell the kids as you described. She'll likely go ballistic, at that point you can point toward the door and offer to help her pack.

Keeping pressure forces her to see reality.

I really don't see why you aren't pushing to get her out the door, you don't owe her anything at this point, and she is relying on you for a roof and eats. Why? Pressure!

You're doing damn good, GW, stay with it.

And as Freeme pointed out, keep that VAR handy. The shit storm coming ain't just the hurricane.

Shark man I have an appointment at zero 830 tomorrow morning. And as for telling the kids I haven't told her yet I'm going to spring that on the right before we do it. The only problem with pushing her out the door she want to take the kids with her unless they turned against her when I find out what she's done

Shark man I have an appointment at zero 830 tomorrow morning. And as for telling the kids I haven't told her yet I'm going to spring that on the right before we do it. The only problem with pushing her out the door she want to take the kids with her unless they turned against her when I find out what she's done

She says our kids mean the world to her they are her everything. If that's the case maybe she'll break before talent

Maybe she'll break? Are you trying to use telling the kids as a threat to get her to stop seeing OM? If anything, that will make her feelings stronger for him and stronger against you.

She's publicly saying you're separated, so use that to your advantage. Start acting SAD, not mad, and as though you've accepted the marriage is over. The only thing I've ever seen turn a cheating wife around is seeing her husband move on. Good luck.

Your lawyer will tell you exactly what to do and how to handle custody of the children. Do not do what anyone but your lawyer says to do.

He will present you with reality.

Just to clarify, I meant "move on" in terms of emotions, not leaving the home, etc.