Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: DCS72

The Book Club :
Adultery by Paulo Coelho

Topic is Sleeping.
default

 JellyGirl84 (original poster member #41717) posted at 4:03 AM on Wednesday, October 5th, 2016

Coelho is an esteemed author, having written such titles as The Alchemist and The Zahir. I usually read his books that are published in the second language I know but I've been avoiding this one for its title. It is a work of fiction.

Something told me the other day to just see what the message is. The synopsis on the back cover reads: "Adultery, the proactive new novel by Paulo Coehlo, explores the true meaning of how to live a full and happy life, and how we can juggle daily routine with the desire for something new."

I'm halfway through the book; page 115 out of 260 and so far the protagonist (who also narrates) just seems like your typical remorseless, lost, weak, sad Wayward. It certainly seems to be an insight into a Wayward's thought process that is probably accurate. It makes me wonder if Coehlo is a W.

I'm in a stage of my Inifedlity Recovery where I'm interested in learning about the psyche of a W, what makes it ok for them. This certainly seems to be answering those questions.

It is extremely triggering for those very new in their journey so I wouldn't recommend you read it until youre a few years out. I'm hoping the story will be redeemed by some kind of remorse by it seems doubtful. I kind of can't wait until it's over.

I mean, the main character just got finished thinking this to herself: "I'm a new woman. I'm in search of something that will not come to me freely nor spontaneously. He is married [note: she is too] and he thinks any step in the wrong direction can compromise his career. So, what should I concentrate on? On separating him from his wife without him realizing it."

[This message edited by JellyGirl84 at 10:05 PM, October 4th (Tuesday)]

BW, 35
Dday in Nov. '13
Divorced in June '14

posts: 813   ·   registered: Dec. 19th, 2013   ·   location: Eastern USA
id 7677994
default

Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 5:02 AM on Wednesday, October 5th, 2016

I read the whole book. It doesn't get any better - there's no redemption or aha moment. Just a parade of self-indulgence and self-pity.

The Alchemist was way better.

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom

posts: 29076   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 7678029
default

trying to smile ( member #9683) posted at 10:09 AM on Wednesday, October 5th, 2016

I loved The Alchemist, don't think I'll be in a hurry to read Adultery.

tts

Good Women.
May we know them,
May we be them,
May we raise them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"so when he finally showed his true colours they proved to be a startling shade of turd".

posts: 8212   ·   registered: Feb. 7th, 2006   ·   location: The Land Down Under
id 7678081
default

mamazen ( member #42137) posted at 11:39 PM on Friday, October 7th, 2016

This was the first Coelho book I ever read, a couple years ago, and it was during the shitstorm. My reaction was rather "meh"---thought it was a bit stupid, actually.

Then I found out he was such an esteemed author (maybe I'm the last on earth; sorry), so I've gotten his other books and have read several. Still, I don't get him, really. I'm sure it's just me.

But the Adultery book---still scratching my head.

mamazen


me 57
WH 58
married 19 years
separated since 3/2013 (in house until 8/2013)
D FINAL! Sept 10 2014
D-day Dec 21 2013 (after separation)
2 sons 17 and 13
OW = family friend and WH work colleague, going on m

posts: 679   ·   registered: Jan. 20th, 2014   ·   location: canada
id 7680405
default

bw900 ( member #47732) posted at 7:35 AM on Saturday, October 8th, 2016

I also read (well, listened to) this book, very soon after dday. I also thought it was kind of stupid. I agree that it stays stupid, but it also has some hope in it.

Since it was a wife rather than a husband, it didn't exactly fit as a comparison for my situation. It was very triggery, but in a revenge kind of way and I needed stuff like that then. I still do, I think, as part of my pain-shopping style of "healing." WH did not know I was listening to it. He was trying to rugsweep.

I had listened to The Alchemist before dday, knowing it is held in high esteem, but I also don't quite get this author.

Me: BW 68 (59 at dday) WH: 69 (60 at dday)D-day 1/2015 EA/PA 1.25 year w/COW M 31 yrs, 4 grown kids Reconciling, which is not easy! Still Grieving what I thought our M was and who I thought he was

posts: 265   ·   registered: May. 1st, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7680559
default

 JellyGirl84 (original poster member #41717) posted at 8:16 PM on Saturday, October 8th, 2016

I really loved The Alchemist. That's worth reading.

I'm still paging through Adultery. I found this gem (and please keep in mind that I'm translating from the language my copy is in into English):

"He (the main charachter's husband) believes everything I tell him. Not because he's an idiot-nothing could be farther from the truth- but rather because he trusts me.

And that irritates me. I'm not trustworthy.

Or perhaps I am. I was brought to that hotel by circumstances unknown to me. Is that a good excuse? No. It's awful, because no one forced me to go there. I can always say that I was feeling lonely, that I didn't get the attention that I needed; only understanding and tolerance. I can tell myself that I need to be challenged, confronted and questioned more about what I do. I can say that it happens to everyone, even if they only dream about it.

But, in the end, what happened was very simple: I went to bed with another man because I was excited to do it. Nothing else. No other intellectual nor psychological justification fits. I wanted to fuck. Period."

BW, 35
Dday in Nov. '13
Divorced in June '14

posts: 813   ·   registered: Dec. 19th, 2013   ·   location: Eastern USA
id 7680810
Topic is Sleeping.
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20241206b 2002-2024 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy