Newest Member: Armyman9196

Investigative Tips :
SNAGGED! Need help fast!

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raineday ( member #20681) posted at 7:40 PM on Tuesday, November 22nd, 2011

OMG. This may be the funniest story I've heard in my life and Basic's exchange with DC makes this the best forum thread in the history of all forum threads on the internet EVER.

If any thread has ever deserved to be stickied it's this one. Sooo therapeutic - I have spastic laughing fits every time I read it no matter what's going on in life.

Is the Pocahontas thread still around? I cracked up just reading the snippet...

posts: 124   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2008
id 5547631
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allusions ( member #25376) posted at 3:33 PM on Sunday, December 4th, 2011

Wow, I finally hit my 50+ posts (woo hoo!) and decided to investigate Investigative Tips. I see this post is a living legend.

So, true story: Many years ago I worked at a hospital. One day there was a bomb scare at the hospital. Why? Because someone found a box on the floor in the hallway of the maternity unit. Written on the box was the word “bomba”. Assuming it was a bomb (“bomba” means “bomb” in Spanish), the bomb investigators were called out. After a few tense moments it was determined that the “bomb” was actually a highly dangerous and terrifying BREAST PUMP! Yes indeed, "bomba" also means “pump” in Spanish!

You can apologize over and over, but if your actions don't change, your words become meaningless.

Behind every crazy bitch is a sweet girl who just got tired of being lied to.

I've found the key to happiness: Stay away from assholes.

posts: 1973   ·   registered: Sep. 1st, 2009   ·   location: California Central Coast
id 5566273
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Gipper ( member #32232) posted at 3:22 AM on Wednesday, December 28th, 2011

Bump for the holidays.

posts: 739   ·   registered: May. 21st, 2011
id 5605524
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MammaMia ( member #34030) posted at 5:34 AM on Wednesday, December 28th, 2011

Does anyone know what happened with the original poster? Did she leave him? Did they reconcile?

Moderators, do you know what happened?

And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive.But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”

posts: 966   ·   registered: Nov. 27th, 2011   ·   location: Somewhere in the South
id 5605712
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ajsmom ( member #17460) posted at 2:57 PM on Tuesday, January 31st, 2012

For the newbies...enjoy!

Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
One AMAZING DS - 34

posts: 21424   ·   registered: Dec. 21st, 2007   ·   location: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
id 5666603
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jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 1:24 AM on Sunday, March 4th, 2012

bump for the newbies

posts: 51033   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2011
id 5724817
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Jessy1501 ( member #24483) posted at 7:11 PM on Thursday, March 22nd, 2012

I came to bump this thread because it cracks me up every time and I thought it would be good for newbies to read...and I see it has a sticky pin thingy! Good idea

[This message edited by Jessy1501 at 1:11 PM, March 22nd (Thursday)]

Attempting to give a fuck: ███████████████████] 99% Complete...ERROR!: Unable to give a fuck.

posts: 5908   ·   registered: Jun. 18th, 2009   ·   location: My own fantasy land
id 5755450
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Mama_of_3_Kids ( member #26651) posted at 7:32 PM on Thursday, March 22nd, 2012

I was just thinking of this thread yesterday

Me: BW/33 The kidlets: DS16, DS12, and DD10 The hounds: Three Shih Tzu's The felines: Two short haired kitteh's

posts: 11775   ·   registered: Dec. 15th, 2009
id 5755496
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Fathful123 ( member #34867) posted at 5:26 AM on Tuesday, April 3rd, 2012

Hilarious!!!!

DDay-7/11/2011
Me(51)
WS(54)with ED!!!!
OW- 49, big manly looking, Amazon looking Ho ; works with federal government but in different state
Several EAs and one oovoo recorded masturbation chat!
We have been Married 18 years
3 kids youngest 17

posts: 78   ·   registered: Feb. 19th, 2012   ·   location: Northern Virginia
id 5773515
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MyReturn2Me ( member #34352) posted at 4:44 PM on Thursday, May 17th, 2012

I needed this today after finding some solace in the acceptance that my husband will always be an ass hat.

When I need a truly great laugh I will come to this thread and read some more pages!

Me: BS 51 and Freaking AWESOME!
Him: Who the fuck cares........

posts: 259   ·   registered: Dec. 31st, 2011   ·   location: Puget Sound
id 5840236
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fourever ( member #30631) posted at 10:32 PM on Friday, June 15th, 2012

Bump

Because laughter is the best medicine!

So happy to have found this!!

In R since shortly after DD.
Discovered what was right in front of him and nearly lost.

Always, tell the other BS! Always!

"It's hard to be in love when you can't tell lies"!

posts: 917   ·   registered: Jan. 4th, 2011   ·   location: Northeast
id 5884470
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whatwasevrything ( member #7471) posted at 1:39 AM on Tuesday, June 19th, 2012

OMG this is still being bumped It's a classic

And now my bitter hands PARADE broken glass of what was
everything. All the pictures sent all been washed in black
...tattooed everything
All the love gone bad turned my world to black
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

posts: 1787   ·   registered: Jun. 24th, 2005   ·   location: somewhere where I never want to be again
id 5888330
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homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 4:04 AM on Sunday, June 24th, 2012

This thread is so funny ! Thankx for the laugh!

I was trying to follow my stbxh recently and somehow ended up in front of him on the road!!!

better leave this up to the experts!

Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55

posts: 5367   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2012
id 5896802
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Onan ( member #33473) posted at 11:19 PM on Wednesday, August 15th, 2012

it fell in his lap he thought it was a bomb...

lol, crotch bomb. Quite fitting.

BS(me): 58
WW(her): 56
M: 23yrs
D-day: 8/25/2011
Divorced!
The two biggest mistakes in my life was putting trust in a wife.

posts: 192   ·   registered: Sep. 28th, 2011
id 5974214
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Mama_of_3_Kids ( member #26651) posted at 5:49 PM on Wednesday, September 12th, 2012

Bumping for anyone who hasn't read this yet. I needed a little chuckle today

Me: BW/33 The kidlets: DS16, DS12, and DD10 The hounds: Three Shih Tzu's The felines: Two short haired kitteh's

posts: 11775   ·   registered: Dec. 15th, 2009
id 6015671
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Melanie ( member #4118) posted at 8:03 PM on Friday, November 16th, 2012

I have been away from SI for years--can't believe this thread is still here!! I love it! It made me laugh when I was in the deepest, darkest pit of depression!

Me BS. Him FWH (not sure how many A's).Last big Dday was 5/04. He admitted 1 PA, then recanted, I'm still waiting for the whole truth. We're still married, but it will never be like it used to be.

posts: 3019   ·   registered: Apr. 18th, 2004
id 6104698
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SadSpouse ( member #13133) posted at 3:17 AM on Monday, November 19th, 2012

I am laughing so hard that I am bawling!! Basic guys responses are killing me!

Everything happens for a reason......we may not know why at the moment, but God has a reason.

posts: 128   ·   registered: Jan. 3rd, 2007   ·   location: Midwest
id 6107224
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TrustGone ( member #36654) posted at 10:59 AM on Sunday, December 30th, 2012

It took hours, but I read the whole thing.

TOO,TOO, FUNNY!!!!

A real classic. I needed this today!!!

Thanks wherever you are Confused. I hope everything turned out well for you in the end.

XWH#2-No longer my monkey Divorced 8/15, Now married to a wonderful man.
"A person is either an asset or a lesson"
"Changing who you are with does not change who you are"

posts: 10077   ·   registered: Aug. 30th, 2012   ·   location: Texas
id 6158031
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persevere ( member #31468) posted at 11:49 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013

I've been on SI for 2 1/2 years now and I've never seen this one before - HYSTERICAL!

I'm interested to know how dazed is doing though. Wow - crazy!

DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

posts: 5328   ·   registered: Mar. 9th, 2011
id 6471814
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PhoenixRisen ( member #35912) posted at 1:41 AM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013

Ahhhh I remember reading this post a year or so ago (along with the sweater for OW post)... and loved seeing it again. Esp since I've healed so much since then!

~thanks for the laugh~

he thought it was a bomb! priceless!

posts: 543   ·   registered: Jun. 22nd, 2012
id 6471892
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