Newest Member: girlangry89

Just Found Out :
Tactical Primer

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why why ( New Member #30624) posted at 8:48 PM on Wednesday, January 5th, 2011

thank you very helpful

posts: 8   ·   registered: Jan. 4th, 2011
id 4996609
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why why ( New Member #30624) posted at 8:49 PM on Wednesday, January 5th, 2011

thank you very helpful

posts: 8   ·   registered: Jan. 4th, 2011
id 4996611
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UKgirl ( Member #17062) posted at 10:58 PM on Monday, January 10th, 2011

Bump!

Affair1: Dday 30/07/06 LTA: 5yrs ex-fiancee Affair2: Dday 04/09/20 9mths another XHSgf.
Me/BS, still young. Him/WS, old. 4 grown boys
Having an affair because you are unhappy is like eating Ex-lax because you are hungry - unfound's mom

posts: 4033   ·   registered: Nov. 17th, 2007   ·   location: UK
id 5007016
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Thelonious ( Member #30683) posted at 1:30 AM on Tuesday, January 11th, 2011

Likely, they will shift the blame for their choices onto you or the marriage, rewrite the marital history, exaggerate trivial issues, and engage in lies and deceit to lessen their guilt and justify their actions.

Oh man. This is the story of my last three months. She has said this stuff so often that I think she has come to believe it herself.

Me: 57
WS: 45
No kids
Together 8 years, living together for 4
D-Day: September 28, 2010
Separation: October 5, 2010

posts: 208   ·   registered: Jan. 8th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 5007325
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letmego ( Member #30381) posted at 5:45 PM on Thursday, January 13th, 2011

bump

As of Oct, 2010:
BW(me) 35; WH 36; employee OW 21 Together 18 years, married 9 (onlies..until OW)
DD 3, DS 7;
D-day 7/2010
D Final Nov 30, 2011

posts: 650   ·   registered: Dec. 13th, 2010   ·   location: FL
id 5013606
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annb ( Member #22386) posted at 5:23 PM on Tuesday, January 18th, 2011

bump for new member in General

posts: 11257   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2009   ·   location: Northeast
id 5023178
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reallyscrewedup7 ( Member #30825) posted at 7:27 PM on Tuesday, January 18th, 2011

Bump for IMDying

Infidelity sucks shit

posts: 1145   ·   registered: Jan. 14th, 2011   ·   location: Finding my way
id 5023555
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nooneeverthought ( Member #20157) posted at 5:02 PM on Wednesday, January 19th, 2011

bump

it doesn't matter where you go in life ,it's who you have the beside you

posts: 8494   ·   registered: Jul. 8th, 2008
id 5025633
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kernel ( Member #27035) posted at 3:48 AM on Friday, January 21st, 2011

bump (which moves it to the top of the forum again)

"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

posts: 5379   ·   registered: Jan. 3rd, 2010   ·   location: Midwest
id 5029310
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lordhasaplan? ( Member #30079) posted at 2:19 PM on Friday, January 21st, 2011

Bump for Iris0127 and other newbees.

BS- Me (45)
D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
Currently in R.
Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.

posts: 2104   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2010
id 5029818
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hurttothebone ( Member #30767) posted at 5:52 PM on Saturday, January 22nd, 2011

Bump. Still gotta find They affair down.

posts: 111   ·   registered: Jan. 11th, 2011   ·   location: PA
id 5032376
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Fighting2Survive ( Member #28410) posted at 6:18 PM on Monday, January 24th, 2011

bump

Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces

posts: 7279   ·   registered: Apr. 30th, 2010   ·   location: NC
id 5035486
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hurttothebone ( Member #30767) posted at 1:43 AM on Tuesday, January 25th, 2011

bump

posts: 111   ·   registered: Jan. 11th, 2011   ·   location: PA
id 5036463
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Fighting2Survive ( Member #28410) posted at 9:06 PM on Tuesday, January 25th, 2011

bump

Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces

posts: 7279   ·   registered: Apr. 30th, 2010   ·   location: NC
id 5038210
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isthisforreal ( Member #30926) posted at 1:36 PM on Wednesday, January 26th, 2011

(From this stage forward you will want to bring a new approach to your communication and interaction with your wayward partner and anyone else that knows. You will still be connected to your partner but you want to have your feelings, thoughts, and actions under control. Speak the truth, directly and with quiet assertiveness and let your silence speak volumes. Be calm, steady, and in control with both your voice and your body. This technique carries power because it comes from your centre and illustrates your dignity and confidence.)

This was the best advice I was given by a dear friend who also experinced an A in her marriage. The thing she regretted most about the confrontation was acting like a crazy woman. Before I confronted WH with my evidence of his betrayal, I very calmly told him "I KNEW" about the cheating. Told him what I knew, and here it all is in black and white. It was almost like I was having an out of body experience, and I think my centered calmness scared the crap out of him. Snapped him out of his insanity fog right quick.

BW me 47
WH him 52
married 24 years
DD 9/15/10
3 incredible teenage daughters
"it only hurts when I breathe"

posts: 268   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2011
id 5039590
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Take2 ( Member #23890) posted at 1:18 AM on Thursday, January 27th, 2011

bump for fraeuken and all newbies!

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

posts: 4432   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2009   ·   location: New England
id 5041308
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Fighting2Survive ( Member #28410) posted at 4:17 PM on Friday, January 28th, 2011

bump

Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces

posts: 7279   ·   registered: Apr. 30th, 2010   ·   location: NC
id 5044641
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annb ( Member #22386) posted at 12:44 AM on Sunday, January 30th, 2011

bump

posts: 11257   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2009   ·   location: Northeast
id 5047347
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Trying2Survive2 ( Member #25758) posted at 1:00 AM on Sunday, January 30th, 2011

What a wonderful post. Lots of work was put into this to help the newbies.

Thanks so much for your effort...

Last but not least..

"BUMP"

Faithful Wife ME 52
FWH 47
DDAY #1 1/11/09 EA Online ONLY (NC)
DDAY #2 6/2010 Admitted PA with the same PIG(12/08)
"Anything may be betrayed, anyone may be forgiven, but not those who lack the courage of their own greatness"

posts: 1376   ·   registered: Oct. 6th, 2009   ·   location: USA
id 5047382
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southsidecali ( Member #22752) posted at 1:07 AM on Sunday, January 30th, 2011

need to reread this often!!!

posts: 989   ·   registered: Feb. 5th, 2009   ·   location: CA
id 5047392
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